Help Stop Military Family Violence

by Pathways to Safety International
Help Stop Military Family Violence

Shelby does not want to get her husband in trouble, but she knew after he strangled her one night, that she needed help to get away from him. She was afraid of what he might do if she told anyone about the abuse that was connected to the US military. However, she was desperate to communicate wtth someone.

Our crisis email was the perfect solution for Shelby. She has been able to communicate with our email advocate when she goes on her daily walk, one of the few freedoms her abusive husband allows, as long as she is not gone longer than 20 minutes. He has a surveillance camera setup so he knows when she leaves, and when she comes back.

Shelby thought being the accompanying spouse of a US military member overseas would be a wonderful experience. Nevertheless, it has turned into a nightmare. Shelby is in the planning stages of leaving.

You make it possible for a Pathways advocate to be there for her. Thank you.

The Pathways Team

*In these reports, we often change the name of the victim and may use a photo that is a likeness, but not the actual photo of the victim, for safety purposes.

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Madison's husband is in the US military based abroad. She and her daughter Skylar joined him just before the pandemic hit.

Before Madison and Skylar joined her husband abroad, they had goen through the Military and Family Life Counseling Program. Her husband had lost his temper several times, throwing objects at Madison and yelling at Skylar. Things improved, so Madison was hopeful when she and Skylar followed him abroad a few months later.

Madison's hope was short lived. He blamed his incidents of rage on the pandemic and stress, and it continued to escalate.

Madison didn't know what to do when she contacted us via email for emotional support and guidance. After processing her options, Madison decided she had to remove Skylar away from the abuse in the home and return back to the US. She didn't want to report the abuse to the military in fear of getting her husband in trouble.

Decisions like Madisons' are extemely hard to make. She is trying to live her happiest life possible with Skylar. Your donations make it possible for us to be a source of support for victims as they move through the decision making process. Thank you! The Pathways Team

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When Heather emailed us earlier this year she was distraught. Both she and her husband were in the military overseas.

Her husband had been verbally and emotionally abusive when they lived in the USA. She gave him an ultimatum - divorce or therapy. They went to therapy and she felt he had gotten better.

But things had escalated abroad. He became even more abusive, going into rages, throwing things and pushing her. Then the threats started.

Heather didn't want to speak to the family advocacy program in the military. She read our crisis email is confidential and she needed someone to help her. Our crisis email advocate Kate was able to help Heather understand her options, access other resources outside of the military in her area and provide on-going emotional support and safety planning.

Heather hasn't told us what she has decided to do yet. But she now has the information necessary ro make an informed decision and we will be there to support Heather as she goes through this process.

We appreciate your support of this project. Being able to provide confidential support to military victims who do not want to access military resources is vital for the best outcome for their situations.

Thank you! The Pathways Team

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Without a doubt, the past two years have been challenging for all of us. The pandemic has changed the way we work, how we live, how our children go to school, kept us in isolation and often plunged us into financial hardship.

For abused military spouses and children that are on accompanying bases, abuse has increased an estimated three-fold. Providing support is difficult with the majority of support being conducted via email.

Despite all the obstacles, because of donations like yours, we have still had some good outcomes this year. Pathways advocates are still available via email and we have successfully assisted victims with safety planning, resources and logistics to be able to remove themselves from the abuse. But most are still  suffering at home, and we will continue to do what we can to support them.

With the pandemic coming to an end, more victims will be seeking to leave abusive partners as lifting of travel restrictions makes escaping more viable.

As always, Pathways will be there to provide all the support we can to victims of violence in the military.

Thank you and we wish you and your families happiness, health and prosperity as we enter a New Year.

The Pathways' Team

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When Riley began emailing Pathways she was distraught and afraid. She loved her husband but his abuse had become unbearable. Riley's husband was in the military in Europe and she was an accompanying spouse.

Her husband, charming and well respected in the military community, was sullen and moody at home. He would get angry with Riley and slap her if dinner was a few minutes late or if she didn't put his clothes away according to his expectations. One night, when she tried to stand up for herself, he strangled her. Riley didn't want to get her husband in trouble but she was beginning to fear for her life.

Working over email a Pathways advocate was able to present Riley with the possible options were for both military and non-military resources and interventions so Riley could make an informed decision about her husband.

When Riley decided to secretly return to th USA without telling her husband, our advocate helped Riley with a safey and logistics plan to ensure she got home safely.

Without your support, our email advocates would not be available to provide the information and resources necessary so victims can make informed decisions about escaping abuse.

Thank you! The Pathways Team

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Organization Information

Pathways to Safety International

Location: Portland, OR - USA
Facebook: Facebook Page
Project Leader:
Paula Lucas
Portland, OR United States
$12,036 raised of $15,000 goal
404 donations
$2,964 to go
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