At first, living in the UK as the civilian spouse of an American military man was a great experience. Vanessa met many other American civilian wives. She participated in fundraising projects, attended luncheons and joined a swim group.
But after a couple of months, the abuse started again. Her husband had been mentally and verbally abusive to Vanessa when they lived in the states. She asked him for a divorce. He cried, apologized and told her that moving to the UK would make everything better and give them a new start.
When Vanessa called us she just found out she was pregnant. Her husband had accused her of sleeping with other men and questioned her loyalty. He didn't hit her but he threw things at her including a flower vase and picture frames. Vanessa was afraid to tell her husband. She had never been unfaithful but she was terrified he would go into a rage.
We safety planned, and because of donations like yours, we were able to get Vanessa back to the USA. Vanessa moved in with her mother and hopes her husband gets anger management or other help but right now, she is focusing on herself, her photography business and the baby.
Thank you so much for donating to help stop Military Family Violence! The AODVC Team
Jeremy was ashamed to call us. He is stationed at a military base in Spain. His wife, a Spanish national, was the love of his life. They married six months after meeting in Spain. At first Jeremy thought that her little bouts of jelousy were cute. Jeremy would hug her and tell her he loved her and within minutes everything was fine.
But then she began going through the pockets of his fatigues, checking his phone and searching his car. Hugging her did no good and on serveral occasions she became violent, hitting him, screaming and throwing things at him.
When Jeremy called, he was suprised to hear that we understood what he was going through. He thought if he told anyone they would laugh at him. After all he is 6' tall and weighs 200 pounds. His wife is 5'3 and weighs 120 pounds. But Jeremy was exhausted from the emotional roller coaster.
We helped Jeremy with counseling. He decided he needed to leave his wife because he wanted to have children but knew his wife was too violent to raise a child.
Here is a note from Jeremy: "Y'all helped me so much. My head was all messed up. Now I"m okay. Sad but okay."
When Olivia joined the military she was ready to defend her country. She never thought she would have to defend her life from her husband when she was stationed in Italy. Olivia was afraid to speak to the family advocate at the base about the abuse. Her husband told her he would kill her if she told anyone.
Olivia saw one of our posters at the base. She called the international toll free number and spoke with Ava, one of our case managers. Olivia worked with Ava for several months safety planning and devising an exit strategy. Finally, we were able to get Olivia home safely, but she left the military in the process."
"It was hard walking away from the military and everything I thought I was going to do in my life but my husband was too powerful in the military. I filed for divorce and my husband is very angry. I am in a safe place and starting over. Thank you for all of your help."
We could not have helped Olivia without donations like yours. Thank you so much!
When Rachel heard Carson beating up his sister Carley she froze. Carson was hitting Carley and calling her names. Carley was screaming, crying and begging him to stop. Rachel realized Carson was doing to Carley what Rachel's husband does to her. Rachel always thought the children were asleep when her husband went into his rages. Rachel ran into the bedroom and stopped Carson. She sat on the floor and cried, the reality of her abuse made her feel sick to her stomach. It was Rachel's wakeup call.
Rachel called us, afraid to contact the domestic violence advocate on the military base. We safety planned and eventually Rachel accepted for us to work with the advocate on base. Rachel, Carson & Carley are now home safe in the USA because of donations like yours. Rachel has a long way to go but they are safe, happy and Carson is not longer hitting Carley.
Here is a note from Rachel. "It was shocking to see my children as small versions of my husband's abuse of me. I realized I had to get out and back home for the sake of Carley and Carson. Thank you for being there when I needed you most."
We want to thank you so very much for helping this family stop the cycle of abuse in their home.
Wishing you love, happiness and prosperity this holiday season. The AODVC Team
Jason and his mom and dad were living in Germany. Jason's father is in the military. Several times a week Jason's father would come home and scream at his mom. He told her she was ugly, that nobody would want her and she was lucky to have him even be willing to be married to her. He criticized everything she did. His father didn't hit his mother, but he would hit the wall next to her, slam doors and throw things. During the day, his mother cryed a lot and Jason didn't know what to do.
Jason found us on the internet. We were able to talk to Jason about what he was witnessing, how it made him feel, and reassured him it was not his fault. Jason was able to convince his mother to talk to us. We provided free counseling for Jason and his mother. After several months, his mother made the decision to leave and return to the USA with Jason.
Jason misses his father and hopes he will get help one day. Because of your donations, Jason doesn't have to listen to his father yell or insult his mom anymore.
Witnessing domestic violence, including emotional and psychological abuse, is devastating to the development of a child. If children are not removed from the abusive home, they can become abuser's themselves, or become victims later on in life.
Thank you for helping Jason and for your belief in our mission! The AODVC Team.
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