Help prevent sexual abuse of children in India

The Month that was: May 2016

May has been an good month for Arpan despite a lull period for implementations in Schools.

We had a marvellous experience exhibiting our resources at the Women Deliver Conference at Copenhagen, Denmark. Delegates and social organizations from over 140 countries were a part of this conference and Arpan was in the thick of the action!

We had some new publications on the block at WD2016 - Our new leaflets and manuals for Training, Intervention and Monitoring & Evaluation of the Personal Safety Education made its debut here. Individuals from 57 countries took our materials to use them in their organisations. We hope this is the beginning of many new partnerships Worldwide.

While we worked hard, attended the sessions on Women's and girls issues, distributed our resources and championed our fight against CSA, we had a little excitement with journalist Ms. Barkha Dutt visiting us at the Arpan booth. Ms. Dutt champions the cause of Child Sexual Abuse as well and has written a book on her experiences "This Unquiet Land - Stories from India's Fault Lines"

As the Conference drew to a close, Arpan's CEO Pooja Taparia was invited to speak on the issue of sexual violence at the closing plenary alongside notable guests like Hillary Clinton, Jessica Biel, Kate Gilmore, Francoise Girard, Tim Evans, Graca Machel to name a few.

Watch her talk here: https://youtu.be/HFn7YraC1xo

FROM THE TRAINING TEAM

The training team added more achievements to their kitty in May. A group of participants from Nepal were facilitated in their understanding Child Sexual Abuse at TISS and where it stands in the context of India. A varied mix of participants from different age groups and walks of life attended the session. Most of the participants came with immense experience from their respective fields and were open to learning more about the realities of Child Sexual Abuse. During the orientation session, we noted the groups responses and understood how eager and motivated they were The session had broadened their understanding of Child Sexual Abuse and they promised to use the knowledge to the benefit of children and adults in their respective fields back home.

STORY OF HOPE!

In one of the schools, the trainer was conducting a Personal Safety Education session in the 5th grade. On the last day of the session, the trainer went to the class to ensure that every child has completed the individual session. On enquiring, one of the children responded that she was absent for all the lessons. The trainer individually taught her all the important concepts of Personal Safety Education. At the end she asked her, if she ever felt unsafe and if she wanted to share something with Didi.

Child said, "No, nothing happened!" however, from the body language of the child, the trainer felt that there is something which is making the child uncomfortable. The trainer told the child "Didi yahan 5 baje tak hai, aur aapko jab bhi lage aap aake baat kar sakte ho". (I am here till 5 pm, whenever you feel like you can speak to me).

The trainer felt that she shouldn't force the child to speak if she is not ready. She told the child that for her safety it is important to tell a trusted adult. This is an unsafe secret which she needs to share and sent the child back to the class after the individual session.
 
After few hours, the child returned to the trainer and shared her touching problem. The trainer felt happy and realized how it is important to provide space to the child. Putting pressure on the child could have a negative impact on her.

A learning that we got from this story was that, it is important to give space to children and not presurize them to share when they dont want to. Let them know they can tell you whatever they want to share and hear them out. Given adequate love, space and time children will seek help from their trusted adults.

TIPS FOR PARENTS TO PREVENT CYBER BULLYING

With the explosion of social media in our lives, there is constant shadowing of our actions and anyone and everyone has an opinion over what they find. When the very opinions are used in such a way that they are used to harass, threaten, embarrass us, it becomes a form of bullying, cyber-bullying. As adults, we sometimes manage to deal with these comments and sometimes ignore them altogether. Children do not. And they have increasing access to technology and its resulting effects. As adults it becomes our responsibility to see to it that our children are not exposed to the unsafe side of human behavior on the Internet. Following are some tips to keep your kids safe:

1. Keep the computer in a common area of the home. Monitor their online usage.

2. Talk regularly and specifically with your children about online issues. Let them know they can come to you for help if anything is inappropriate, upsetting, or dangerous. Build trust with your children. Set time limits, explain your reasons for them, and discuss rules for online safety and internet use. When you ask your children to contribute to establishing the rules they'll be more inclined to follow them.

3. Don't threaten to take away your children's computers if they come to you with a problem. This only forces kids to be more secretive.

4. Don't overreact by blaming your children. If they are being bullied, be supportive and understanding. Find out how long the bullying has been going on and ensure that you'll work together to find a solution. Let your children know they are not to blame for being bullied.

5. Don't underreact by telling your children to "shrug it off" or just deal with the bullying. The emotional pain of being bullied is very real and can have long-lasting effects. Don't tease them about it or respond with a "kids will be kids" attitude.

A child and adult friendly video summing up aspects of Cyberbullying below:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jwu_7IqWh8Y


Do send us your feedback on our newsletters here: communications@arpan.org.in

Links:

• Arpan - Towards Freedom from Child Sexual Abuse