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Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India

by Sambhali Trust
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India

 

A few more case stories over the last 3 months, which illustrate the type of calls we receive and the help we give.

 


JC Domestic Violence

After a distressed phonecall from JC, she came to the Sambhali office with her mother.
JC has a good education and a government job and has been married to RC for nineteen years.
After one year of marriage she gave birth to their son. At this time she started to receive many forms of abuse from her in-laws regarding the dowry, which her husband supported.
After a few years of marriage, her husband began an affair with another woman who works in his office. He often does not come home for four days at a time and switches his phone off.

He denies the affair when JC confronts him and this causes many fights.
This has led to JC becoming depressed and no longer fulfilling her own abilities.

Through counselling, JC was able to talk through the problems, and to be heard.
She was given advise to get out of the house and use the good education she has, to not spend time worrying about a husband who does not worry about her, she must remember she has loving and supportive parents and she must use her education to better herself and become financially independent and to focus her time and attention on the life and future of her son.
This may inspire her husband to better himself too.

With Sambhali’s support her self-esteem is much improved and she now feels empowered and motivated to go and live a better life for herself and the future of her son.

 

 

K Verbal Harassment

K called from Jaipur after receiving a series of harassing phone calls and vulgar WhatsApp messages from the same person, using many different numbers.
She was asking for advice if anything can be done, because she is very anxious and unable to sleep due to such mental stress.

Sambhali informed her that cyber crime is a real crime and is becoming An increasing issue these days. Support was given to encourage her to go to the police and report this. And we informed her there is actually a cyber crime office in Jaipur where she will be taken seriously and such offenders will be traced and punished.

Sambhali gave proper advice and moral support, helping this girl to be relieved of mental stress.

 

 

S Sexual Harassment

S came to Sambhali office with her sister-in-law asking for advice.
Her husband drinks too much alcohol and does not earn much money. S is earning money herself, by cleaning people’s homes for the monthly home expenses.

Her husband’s elder brother who lives nearby, comes into the house at night, sexually harming her. He threatens that if she does not make a physical relationship with him he will pour acid on her. When she had the courage to tell her husband of his brother’s threats her husband scolded her questioning why she would want to deframe his brother.

Feeling disturbed by the situation S asked for help. Sambhali was able to support her by telling her not to be frightened and supported her to go to the police. The police have investigated the case and her husband and his brother have been barred.

She states expressly that she does not want to live with her husband. She can live alone and support her children with her own money.

In this way Sambhali provided assistance to a woman suffering from sexual harassment, provided moral support and helped motivate her to live a new and happy independent life.

 

 

NS Medical

NS is a previous student of Sambhali, she finished her studies eight years ago and now has two children. She has recently been diagnosed with arthritis after investigations.
Her husband is also sick and is in financial difficulty. Her treatment is expected to last a long time and she does not have the money for this.

With these considerations Sambhali agreed to assist her financially for six months with 6000rs per month for her medical care, enabling an economically disadvantaged woman, one of our own Sambhali girls, to receive good health care and lead a healthy life.

 

 

M Domestic Violence

SK called regarding her cleaning lady M who had confided her husband was drinking too much alcohol and beating her. M lives with her in-laws and her husband who is not earning any money, only spending the money M earns for the family on alcohol. She tries to talk to him about the alcohol but he only beats her, even in public and her in-laws support him.

She does not want to go to the police as she fears living alone but is asking for help in counselling her husband.
Sambhali were able to connect M with a women’s police helpline in Jaipur who can give her advice and will also talk to her husband, and advise him if he does not comply with the help they offer him then an official complaint can be made against him.

In this way, this woman has the support to change her situation, without fear, to lead a safe life.

 

 

RY Verbal Harassment

RY called, upset because a boy she made friends with is blackmailing her to marry him.
She accepted a social media friendship request from the boy a year previously, and they had become friends, then exchanged phone numbers and started talking on the phone.
At his force, she agreed to meet him and they met a few times at a restaurant. As she got to know him, she realised he was not an educated boy, he was in fact a vagabond and she did not want to spend a life with this boy.

She was upset because she found herself in a situation completely out of hand and hadn’t confided her family.
Sambhali was able to give support and advice to go to the boys mother to explain his blackmailing and stop him, and to go to her own mother.

Thus freeing her from stress and anxiety.

A few more case stories over the last 3 months, which illustrate the type of calls we receive and the help we give.

 

B.P and A.M    Domestic abuse

B.P brought her friend, A.M, to Sambhali Office who wanted to talk about his daughter, M. 7 months ago, she got married to a business man, J.C, who has a lot of money; it is the second marriage of this man (divorced once before). After marriage, he did not allow his wife (A.M’s daughter) to come back home before 3 months have passed so her father decided to go and visit her in her house. At the beginning, JC (husband) was only scolding his wife on small matters but he became more and more violent (physically and verbally) so M moved back to her parents’ house. Now, she is 3 months pregnant and A.M is scared to send back his daughter as, in an act of violence, the husband could badly hurt both his daughter and future grandchild. Thus, he reached to the husband and his family to get guarantees regarding his daughter’s security but wanted more advise on what to do. The counsellor advised A.M to take his daughter to a women’s police station and fill a complaint so the husband would be summoned by the police and could be stopped from hurting his wife.

 

J.    Domestic violence

J. called from Jaipur to report a woman living at the Jaipur Railway Station with no food for the last 3 to 4 days. She knew the woman was a victim of domestic violence and fled home. She asked the HelpLine how to assist her. As she called Jodhpur HelpLine, the counsellor gave her the number of Jaipur’s so she could contact them directly. Then they could help the woman get to a safe place like Nari Niketan.

 

J.    Verbal harassment

J. called on behalf of his sister the HelpLine as she is really upset with her ex-husband. After a 2 years marriage, his sister obtained a divorce from the Court and went back home to live with her parents and brother. But it did not stop her ex-husband from calling her to make threats of abuse and even murder her. Because she obtained a legal divorce, J. was advised by our counsellor to accompany his sister to the police station with divorce papers in order to file an official complaint so then the police could take actions against the abusive husband.

 

P.    Medical

P. works at Fatima Graduate Centre and was diagnosed with stage 1 cancer one year ago. She is now undertaking treatment (chemotherapy) to prevent the spread of the disease and eradicate it. But the problem was that treatment is really expensive and her father does not have a good financial situation and she has siblings to be taken care for. She called Sambhali to ask for help covering the cost (30 000 INR) of treatment and half was offered to her. She will now be able to go to Ahmedabad to follow her treatment thanks to economic and emotional support from Sambhali.

 

R.P    Sexual harassment

R.P called the HelpLine regarding his 9 years old daughter receiving very inappropriate calls, texts and videos from boys. He is a gardener in a school and live with his family in Delhi. It is not the first time he reached for help as he already called the Child HelpLine and addressed a complaint to the police but nothing was done. Indeed, he is now pressured by the police to withdraw his complaint as the boys come from a wealthy family, itself pressuring the police to drop the case. The boys managed to trick his daughter into giving them her mother’s phone number and started to send porn videos but as she is only 9 years old, she doesn’t understand what she is watching and keep on doing it. Then, they started calling her to make inappropriate proposal (sexual harassment). To react, R.P wanted to know if it would be a good idea to talk about it on social medias. The counsellor provided moral support to a miserable father and advised R.P to go to a women’s police station and fill another complaint to a woman officer so then measures could be taken.


Attachments:

A few more case stories over the last 3 months, which illustrate the type of calls we receive and the help we give

Case Stories

L          Domestic Violence

B called from Beawar in Rajathan and said that her sister L was very upset. L lives in Jaipur and her husband has recently died. However, since that date she has received a lot of abuse and torture from her in-laws over the property and whose name it should be in. Her father-in-law earns 50,000rs pension but doesn’t help L out with any money. She looks after herself, does her own work and looks after the children.  Because L lives in Jaipur, then the Sambhali counsellor needed to provide her with the number of the women’s HelpLine in Jaipur and explain the story to them and that if they do not take this on board, to file a complaint with the police regarding her situation with her in-laws.

 

U        Medical

U has been working at the Graduates’ Sewing Centre for the last year and for the last 2-3 months, has been suffering from arthritis in her hands. The fingers in her hands had swelled up and it was causing her a lot of trouble with her sewing work. She had been to the doctor, but the medicines he had prescribed didn’t help her. Due to the high cost of medicines and the medical investigation required she could not afford it, so requested Sambhali’s help.  U has 3 daughters and her husband doesn’t do any work. Assessing her financial situation, Sambhali offered her financial assistance and gave her the details of a good doctor she could use. After taking the medicines, she is now healthy and she can continue to do her sewing work well.

P     Medical

P was a taxi driver but lost his job a few months ago. His parents have both died and only has one sister, who is married. She has had obstetrics problems and after a lot of treatment she managed to conceive. Her husband is working but their financial situation is not very good. So P supported his sister to that she could receive treatment, but in the meantime he lost his job.  At the time of delivery it was necessary for his sister to have a Caesarean section to deliver the baby. This was something that his sister and her husband could ill-afford, so P and his sister came to Sambhali to ask for assistance and pay for the surgery. Sambhali paid her 25000 rupees for the surgery.

 

S    Forced Marriage

K rang to say that a girl called S was being forced to marry someone she didn’t want to and so K gave S the number so she rang the HelpLine and spoke with our Sambhali counsellor.  She said she has an arranged marriage but wants to study further, besides she and K are in love and wish to marry but their parents don’t approve because they are from different castes. S’s father has stopped her from going to college and imprisoned her in the house and wishes her to marry someone who is 10 years older than her. S therefore is very upset and cannot just leave her house with K because of their poor circumstances.   S asked for advice so that she could get married to K.  Our counsellor advised that this could only be done through Legal Aid and with the help of the law. At every district level there are district legal services authority centre where there is free legal advice given. K can go there and tell the magistrate the whole story and provide the information required to obtain a court marriage.

 

R     Domestic Abuse

R came with her sister to the Sambhali office. She said that she was very upset with her married life. She said she was married 20 years ago at the age of 10 and she said she has never been happy in her marriage and now she is a victim of mental and sexual harassment. She has gynaeacological problems and so she can’t have children. Then she adopted the daughter of her sister-in-law with the consent of the family. Her husband built them a house, in which R lives and is legally in her name. R went on to say that her husband has had many affairs with other women and many times he brings them to the house. She feels very bad about this but when she discusses this with her husband he abuses and beats her and threatens to kick her out of the house.  Harassed by all this , R filed a police case.

The case is still going on in court, but her father-in-law threatens to come and remove her from the house. R said she has no parents, so there is no-one to support her.  R gave Sambhali her husband’s number to let him know that he shouldn’t and couldn’t threaten R because the house is in her name. R felt better after the conversation and was advised further that she has nothing to fear because Sambhali would always support her in full.

 

S  Domestic Abuse

S called from Bhiwari in Rajasthan, upset about her marriage. She had a love marriage and 2 children. However, her husband has a relationship with many young girls. Many times she has caught her husband and when challenged he fights with her, beats her and drags her out of the house. Her husband runs his own business and does some driving work.  However, S doesn’t want to get divorced, nor does she want to leave her husband.

Sambhali advised her if she does not want to get divorced she will have to stay strong and need to think less about her husband and more about her children. She has to make the future of her children. She needs to work to financially support herself and so she needs to get a job. She has done a BBA, (Bachelor in Business Administration)  so that means she can get a job easily. If her husband tries to stop her she needs to get out and go out and keep continuing to go to work. This way the counsellor repeatedly said that S needs to go to work. After counselling, S felt very relaxed to seeing a vision of her future which showed her a way forward.


Attachments:

Case Stories

SK Domestic Abuse

S came to the Sambhali office with her uncle, who is a friend of her father. He spoke to our counsellor and said that S was very upset in her marital life. Her in-laws harass her. He went on to say that she had been married for 10 years and has a 5 year old son. After 2 years of marriage everything was fine but then the in-laws and husband changed their behaviour and started to mentally torture her. They drank alcohol and verbally abused her together with her husband also drinking alcohol and beating her. For a long time, S continued to live this life, but when her child became old enough to go to school, she found that her husband didn’t do anything to arrange for her child’s education. Battles and fighting ensued between her and her husband and in the end, distressed by all the bad behaviour, she took her son to her father’s house. She wants her son to go to school and she wants to become self-sufficient herself, (she studied at school up to 8th Class).

Sambhali discussed with her the possibility of her attending the Graduates Sewing Centre in Sambhali to learn to sew garments and items on a fast-track basis in 2-months, after which time she could start to earn a living by producing stock for the Sambhali boutique. She is now attending the centre and feeling much better with her new life.

 A and F.  Domestic Abuse and Harassment

 A and F are 2 sisters and came to the Sambhali office with their mother and aunt. They have been married for 4 years to 2 brothers, but they find they are unable to stay in their in-laws house for more than a month at a time.  Both husbands drink alcohol and beat them and kick them out of the house. The husbands have had extra marital affairs with other women and F’s husband ran away with a minor girl, for which he is now in jail. Whenever they go to the in-laws house, where their husbands live, they suffer severe mental harassment and A’s husband asks them to do illegal work.

Both sisters are very upset by this behaviour and want a divorce from their husbands, to which their mother also agrees this is the best option. However, their economic situation is not good and hasn’t been able to allow them to go through the legal proceedings. So they came to Sambhali asking for advice.  Our Sambhali counsellor advised them that there is a Legal Services Help Centre in the High Court, where free legal advice and assistance are provided. Our counsellor also spoke to one of the staff at the Legal Services Help Centre and explained the situation. The next day F and A and their parents  went to the Centre to discuss their case using the free legal aid offered to them.

 C  Forced Marriage

 C called from a village in the Ganganagar district to say she was very upset and unhappy. She explained that she was 17 years old and her family wants to marry her forcefully, but she wants to get a better future by getting a good education. The person whom she was intended to marry was 11 years older than her and she didn’t want to marry him. Her mother also didn’t wish for her to marry him, but because of her financial situation, C’s grandmother was pressurising her mother to go ahead with the marriage. Her father has psychiatric problems and is in a hospital. C explained even if she looked for help in the village, the police would not help her because of the influence of her grandmother.

Sambhali suggested that C go to the District Court in Ganganagar, where she will be able to find the District Legal Services Authority, where she can pursue their help to stop the marriage because she is not yet 18 years old, lower than the minimum age to get married.

 N.  Domestic Abuse

 J called from Mumbai about his sister, N. His sister lives in Rajasthan and has been married for 15 years and has 2 children. Her husband works at the mobile shop in the local town. For the last 2-3 years, N’s husband has been troubling her and torturing her in every way. His sister has been phoning her mother regularly asking for advice. Now N’s husband has started assaulting J’s sister and she is becoming more and more stressed and very depressed by all her husband’s behaviour.

J asked Sambhali for advice on how to prevent her husband inflicting this abuse onto his sister. Sambhali’s counsellor suggested to J. that N’s husband should be given the opportunity of counselling at least once to see if this could make a difference. He was given the number of the Police Women’s Help Line in Jaipur near their home town, so that he could talk to them and arrange for them to give counselling to his sister’s husband and at the same time put pressure on him to stop being violent. If her husband does not improve with his counselling, then a complaint could be filed with the police there.

 S Domestic Violence

S called and said that she was very upset with a family problem. She came into the office the next day with her mother to speak to our counsellor andt explained that she had been married for 4 years and had a 3 year old daughter. Her marriage was a love marriage and also an inter-caste marriage. Her father had died before their marriage and in his place she got a government job on the Railways. For this reason her mother and elder unmarried sister live in the Railways quarters with her. Her husband wanted her mother and sister to live elsewhere, but this is not possible, because she got her job and living quarters instead of her father, so she cannot leave her mother and sister alone.

Many times the fight got so much, that her husband attacked her. Two days beforehand, her husband had got beaten up and ran away from home. S asked our Sambhali counsellor for advice as to how to have a settled family life.  The Counsellor asked for her husband’s telephone number and she invited them both together for a discussion. S’s husband complained that S only looked after her own family and didn’t want to go his parents’ house at all. After much discussion, it was decided that both of them would need to learn to respect the parents of the other and that at least once a month, S should go to her husband’s village with her husband to visit his parents. The counsellor also stated that S’s husband should respect S’s parents and allow them to remain with them. She also explained that their 3 year old child needed both a mother and father, so that they should work on their relationship for the sake of their child.


Attachments:

 

Attached are a few more case stories from the those women who contact the SOS HelpLine.

S. Domestic Abuse

S called from Jaipur and said she was very upset about her married life, and wants to separate from her husband. She said she had been married for 7 years and has 2 young daughters. Her husband drinks too much and abuses her. She said when her children were very small, she could cope with it, but now they are getting older, she doesn’t want them to be disturbed by her husband’s behaviour and what she feels is mental torture. She is educated and can look after her children herself. Her husband says she can keep the elder daughter but not the younger one. S wants to keep both daughters together.

Sambhali gave S the number of the HelpLine in Jaipur and advised her to go there and try and get her husband some counselling, so he could accept that he was having difficulties and needed help. If her husband was not happy after counselling then the HelpLine in Jaipur would be able to provide Legal Help so that she can easily separate and keep both her daughters. After this advice, S felt more relaxed.

 M. Domestic Abuse

R. was calling from Kisangarh in Rajasthan to say that he was very upset about his sister. His sister has been married for 3 years and has a 2 year old daughter. Her husband beats her. Being very disturbed by all this, M came to her father’s house, , but unfortunately her father’s condition is such that he cannot keep R’s sister and her daughter. R. tried to take his sister back to her in-laws but said her husband is not ready to keep her and said that they should get divorced.  R. went to the Kisangarh police station to register a case against her in-laws, but the police refused.

R. came to Sambhali to ask for advice. Sambhali said that there is a women’s empowerment department in Kisangarh and that he should go and talk to them, that a local woman is being deprived of her rights and being harassed. As the local Police are not listening to their story, the Government’s Women Empowerment Department will take the complaint to the police themselves.

 P. Domestic Abuse

P came to Sambhali with her sister and daughter-in-law. She said that her husband drinks a lot and also beats her. After the last assault P went to the nearest police station, but the police did not write any complaint against her husband as her husband was able to bribe the police. P also has 2 sons, the elder of whom is married. P showed signs of injury on her body. Her husband would take her out of the house and beat her and say that she is no good for him. She earns a living by doing cleaning work in her local vicinity and earns only about 3000-4000 rupees per month and so is unable to rent a house alone.

Sambhali supported her by helping her to write a complaint to the police station and whit his pressure, the police took action against her husband to stop him physically assaulting her.

 N. Domestic Abuse

N called Sambhali to say that she was very upset with her in-laws and her husband. She came to Sambhali’s office with her parents. Her in-laws live in Bikaner. N was a student at Sambhali’s Fatima Empowerment Centre 4 years ago and she has been married for the last 4 years and has a 2 year old daughter. She has that her husband and mother-in-law have said abusive things to her and teased her in many ways, several times.

N was troubled by the abuse and tension from her husband and in-laws, and so left to go to her father’s house in Jodhpur. Her husband phoned her but he has not tried to come to talk to her and come and collect her. Sambhali asked for the telephone numbers of her husband and father-in-law so that they could talk to them. On the second day after the phone-call, her husband, father-in-law and other relatives came to Sambhali and then N. was called in and arrived with her mother and sister.

The matter was settled by explaining to both parties the situation and getting them to agree with a written agreement that in future N’s husband would not disturb her and would behave well to her to which the father-in-law and another relative also signed. Sambhali also gave N. their telephone number, if there is any problem in future.

 R. Verbal and Sexual Harassment

R phoned from a city in Madhya Pradesh and said she was very upset about her husband. She has been married for 3 months and was living in Rajasthan where her husband is a teacher. R said it was a second marriage for both of them and that her husband is mentally disturbed, mentally tortures her and sexually harasses her. Disturbed by all this, she returned to her father’s house. Her husband still calls her from different numbers to her different relatives, repeatedly. She did not want to live with him any longer. Sambhali advised her that if she didn’t want to live with him, no-one would force her and there is no need to fear this person.

Sambhali advised R to complain to the police station in M.P. by going to the women’s police station and say that her husband is pestering her.

 P. Other

P. works as a cook at one of Sambhali’s boarding home for young girls. One day she came into the Sambhali office very distraught and said that she was worried about the agricultural land in her village of Solyankitala near Setrawa. A Rajput family has built a house on her family’s land and occupied it. She told the police in the nearby police station, but the police didn’t taken any action against them, because they were bribed. She said there was no-one in the village to help her because the political party is very strong and so everyone was afraid of them. Sambhali advised her to tell all the details to the Rural Superintendent of Police and after hearing the case, the Rural SP immediately took action in the village.


Attachments:
 

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Organization Information

Sambhali Trust

Location: Jodhpur, Rajasthan - India
Website:
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Twitter: @SambhaliTrust
Project Leader:
Govind Rathore
Jodhpur, Rajasthan India

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