Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India

by Sambhali Trust Vetted since 2010 Site Visit Verified

Case stories

1. S. Domestic Abuse

J called to say that her sister S who lives in Raigarh in Rajasthan had some issues and was asked to give the Sambhali HelpLine number to her sister. Her sister duly called and discussed the problems she was having with her husband who regularly beat her throughout their 16-year marriage. Now he is drinking a lot and bringing a friend home to drink with him. They then start to misbehave with her. She doesn’t feel safe in the house anymore and she has children to look after. She didn’t want to stay with her parents nor with her husband. Sambhali’s counsellor asked her if she had any neighbours to help her and the counsellor spoke with them to suggest that she contact the Department of Women & Child Development and the Women’s Welfare Centre in Jodhpur to tell them her problems so that she could be helped by the Nari Niketan Trust who helps women seek refuge and provides a safe home.

 2. D Verbal Harassment

D called from Jaipur where she has been living and studying at college there for the last 2 years. She is living in a guest house as a paying guest. She said she had been upset for the last 3 days because she repeatedly gets calls from an unknown caller. Even though she blacklisted the number, he then began to call from another number. This was making her increasingly distressed and had stopped her going to college for the last 3 days.

Sambhali’s counsellor advised her not to panic and gave her the number of the Women’s Police HelpLine in Jaipur and she could ask for their help to stop these nuisance calls.

 3. D. Other

DS called from Barmer, west of Jodhpur, about his sister D. D’s husband has left her and she remains living with her in-laws, who are troubled by her. She has 2 children and her in-laws don’t help to feed them, so she is very unhappy. DS came to Sambhali to meet with our counsellor. He said that he could keep his sister for a while but not a long time – and asked for advice. He said that she is not educated.

 Sambhali advised that his sister could be given accommodation as part-payment for a cleaning job in a girls’ hostel, where she could receive financial support and be able to stay safely. Now she is living with her 2 children at the Dusari Girls’ Hostel, and her daughter is also studying there.

 4. U. Verbal Harassment

U called to say that she was in difficult circumstances both financially and socially. 6 years ago she made a love marriage to a boy in an untouchable caste. Her parents severed their relationship with her and her family. They left Jodhpur and went to live in Delhi. Now she feels very lonely. She has had 3 daughters in the last 5 years. Her husband works as a painter but earns little money and has now started drinking. She is upset by this and feels isolated and doesn’t know what to do. 

Sambhali invited her to come and participate in the Graduate’s Sewing Centre, where she could learn to sew and after a few months earn 3000-4000rs comfortably. U has since joined the Sewing Centre and is learning to sew and starting to earn an income, thereby helping give her the financial help she needs as well as being with other women she can socialise with.

5. K Medical help

K has been a participant in the Fatima Empowerment Centre in Sambhali for the last 11 months. For one year she had been suffering from gynaecological problems but didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. She hadn’t enough money to go and see a good doctor nor provide the medicine she needed. K eventually divulged this to a friend, who then told the Sambhali staff of her problems. She agreed to go to a good gynaecologist and so Sambhali provided her with the financial assistance she needed and her treatment started. She is now feeling much better.

We were also able to provide in February 2 Health camps for the women in our Self-Help Groups in Setrawa and Jodhpur (nearly 150 women altogether). 


Attachments:

Case Stories

Just a few of the people that Sambhali have advised and counselled in the last 3 months.

 1. Verbal Harassment

N. lives in Jaipur and is upset about her husband’s behaviour. He lives in UP. N has filed a case of dowry against her husband in court. Her husband’s friend has been calling repeatedly and asking her to withdraw the case and threatening to kill her. Sambhali advised her to go to her nearest women’s police station in Jaipur, give them this person’s phone number and tell them she is in danger of her life.

 2. Domestic violence

M called to say that his sister who lives in Ajmer, is suffering from domestic abuse. His sister’s husband drinks a lot of alcohol, beats her and threatens that she will be killed. Sambhali gave M the number of the Police HelpLine in Jaipur as it is close to Ajmer.

 3. Domestic Violence

P came to the Sambhali office with her sister-in-law. P is very upset about her married life. She had a love marriage 12 years ago with a man who was the son of her father’s friend. She lives with her husband and mother-in-law in Jaipur for 8 years. Her husband is a car taxi driver. After 8 years of marriage, he started drinking alcohol and started beating her. One day he told her that he had married another woman in Pushkar. P was devastated. When she asked him for more information he beat her and drove her out of the house, so she came to live with her father in Jodhpur with her 2 children. She started working in a factory but after 3 years she suffered badly with asthma and now cannot work. She had no communication with her husband in the last 3 years, but now she wanted someone to pressurise her husband in helping her financially. Sambhali suggested that as her husband lives and works in Jaipur , that she get in touch with the HelpLine in Jaipur. Sambhali spoke to the Garima HelpLine in Jaipur  and related P’s story. They said that P should go to Jaipur to discuss it with them so they can try and help access the husband to provide financial assistance.

4. Verbal Harrassment

S came to Sambhali with her sister-in-law. She lives in Jodhpur with her mother-in-law, husband and 2 children. Her husband doesn’t work and drinks alcohol and beats her. Her husband also disallows S from working which makes it very difficult to look after the children. S arrived at Sambhali very upset and didn’t know what to do. Sambhali asked her for her husband’s phone number and rang her husband to explain that he cannot place this level of restriction on S, otherwise Sambhali will file a complaint against him at the Police station. Since then his behaviour has changed and S is able to go and do some work to earn an income to support her children.

 5.Domestic Abuse

P came to the office with her father and grandmother. She said she was not happy with her married life. She had been married for 8 months, but her husband drank too much alcohol and beat her. He also has forced her to leave her studies. P repeatedly called her husband and her in-laws who told her if she returns to live with them, she will have to stop studying. P. asked for advice to continue her studies and be free of her husband’s threats. Sambhali advised P to continue her studies by becoming a strong woman and if her husband harasses her then she should make a complaint against him to the the Women’s Police station by referring to Sambhali.

 6. 

A called about his friend S. She had been upset for 2-3 days and had suicidal thoughts. She did not want to share the cause of her problems with anyone. A was afraid of what she might do but explained to Sambhali that S loved a boy who betrayed her and married another girl. If her parents found out that she had had a relationship with this boy they would be very angry and she would be ostracised in society. Sambhali asked for S.’s number but A refused to give it. So Sambhali advised A to have courage and go to S.’s mother and convince her that she should sympathise with S, so that S can rid herself of her mental stress.

 7. Forced marriage

K called from Jaipur and said that her family wants her to have an arranged marriage. K loves another boy and wants to marry him. Some time ago her parents agreed to this marriage but when both of the boy’s uncles came to know that K was marrying inter-caste, they threatened her father. K’s father became scared and wanted K to get married in her own caste. K was not happy. Sambhali advised K to counsel with her parents and give the HelpLine number of Jaipur.


Attachments:

 

Case stories

N. female 21yrs Jodhpur Child marriage

N married in 2006 when she was 10 years old and now wants a divorce. Her in-laws are living in the village and do farmwork. Her husband’s education was up to 12th class and has no job. N. is studying for a BA in English and is keen to study but her in-laws don’t want her to.  N. wants to make this child marriage void and is asking for legal assistance, so Sambhali assisted her to speak to the secretary of the legal aid authority who suggested she file a case. A lawyer was provided free of charge which is the rule in these cases where women seek to abolish their arranged child marriage.

 

R. male – Justice for his niece

On 5 June 2017, R’s niece K, and her daughter were killed in their village. K’s in-laws said it was suicide, but on 7/6/17 K’s father filed a case against K’s in-laws at the local police station. After this the police started the investigation, but now are not taking further action. K’s uncle travelled to Jodhpur to meet with the counsellor at Sambhali Trust with a file of the case. The counsellor took the number of the police who was investigating the case and spoke to him. He said that the man man accused of this murder had been arrested. The police promised that they would give full support to K’s father in this case.

 

M. Female 28 years old   Inter-caste marriage

M phoned Sambhali because her parents want her to marry a disabled man. They are against her studying, don’t let her work and torture her in many ways. She wants to marry someone her own age and whom she can understand. She said that someone wants to marry her; he is a teacher in a school. But due to his different caste, M’s parents won’t accept him and threaten to kill him. M also has a BEducation and wants to carry on with her career. She wanted advice as to what to do. Sambhali called her male friend and said that they are both adults and could get married in court/registry office if they wanted to. She suggested to consult with a lawyer to give them advice.

 

S. Female Domestic Abuse

S came into the Sambhali office with her relative. S told the counsellor that she lives in a village near Jodhpur and that she had been married for 6 years. She told that her husband drank too much alcohol and beat her. As long as she was with her husband she continued to suspect his character and he continued to abuse her. After having a son, when he was 1 year old, she went to live at her father’s house because she did not want her son to be influenced by her husband’s bad habits. Even then her husband followed her and abused her and continued to be abusive on the phone and also threatened to kill her. She said she had studied up to 12th Class and wanted to work being a teacher in a school. She said she wanted to stand on her own two feet and legally divorce her husband. That is why she came to the Sambhali office to ask for Legal Aid. Sambhali’s counsellor gave her general legal advice and spoke to a local lawyer whom then asked to see S. to provide her with legal assistance, so that she could understand the divorce process.

 

D Domestic Violence

D called up to say that his sister, S’s, husband drinks alcohol and beats her and degrades her sister’s character too. His sister is very upset. He believes his sister’s husband is having an affair with another woman. He is very worried about his sister but not want it to become a police case. Instead he wants his brother-in-law to have counselling. D asked for the HelpLine number and our counsellor gave him their local one in Jaipur.


Attachments:

.As our counsellor Mrs Tanwar is on leave, we have not been able to get the May reports but for the months of March and April the figures are such:

Total calls – 80

Total cases – 47

Domestic Abuse – 7

Forced marriage – 1

Verbal harassment – 15

Sexual abuse - 1

Medical 8

Others 15

 

Expenditure for April and May

Kidney dialysis – 10,000 rupees

Medication for TB – 3351 rupees

Diabetes – 2642 rupees

Medical check-up – 150 rupees

Help for operation – 7000 rupees

Blood test – 500rs

 

Case Story 1

Lady called P. Age 39 years    Domestic abuse   Jodhpur

P’s husband was a hard drinker and abused her and beat her badly sometimes. He did not give P any money for the necessary needs of the family. She said that her husband also had an extra-marital affair with her elder sister and she came to know about their relationship. After that he started abusing her and stopped giving her household money.

She has 2 children, a daughter and a son. Her son doesn’t listen to her and supports his father because he gives him money to fulfil his desires. P’s parents also were not taking any notice of her story either. Nobody is talking to her and she was feeling lonely and depressed. She contacted Sambahli Trust to ask for suggestions. She didn’t want to go to the police station and didn’t want to harass her husband because she didn’t want to disturb her daughter’s studies. However due to lack of money she cannot help her daughter either.

P said she would like to earn some money to pay for the basic needs of the household. After listening to her story, Sambhali’s counsellor was able to advise her of the empowerment centres in Sambhali where they learn vocational skills in sewing and embroidery and learn to make Indian garments and accessories. After a 12 months course, she would have the skills to be able to sew at home (with a sewing machine donated by Sambhali) and start earning an income by sewing for her local community.  She has been enrolled in the Laadli Empowerment Centre in Jodhpur where she is receiving Sewing training and is now feeling better that she has a more hopeful future and the emotional support of the women in Sambhali.

 Case Story 2

Young woman aged 19 years    Sexual abuse   Jaipur

A young woman called H, phoned from Jaipur. She said that she came from Ahmedebad and is a student studying for a BTech in her 1st year at college. She told of her mother divorcing her father when she was 8 years old and married another man in Ahmedebad. H said that she never had affection towards her step-father as she grew up. He started harassing her sexually and used to touch her private parts. She told her mother but she did not say anything to her new husband and asked H. to stay quiet. Afterwards she told everything about her step-father to her maternal family but they didn’t support her stating that her stepfather was financially well off compared to them.

 So H decided to leave Ahmedebad. After finishing school she filled in the enrolment form to go to college in Jaipur. But now her parents want her to return to Ahmedebad and continue her studies there. Of course she doesn’t want to return to that life where she was harassed every day. Her parents warned her that next year they will not give her any fees and hostel expenses, so that she would have to return to Ahmedebad. She was very worried about her studies and asked Sambhali for suggestions. Mrs Tanwar, the Trust’s counsellor, suggested she share her problem with the warden of the hostel who might give a discount on her fees. Secondly she gave her the number of a Woman’s HelpLine that was actually in Jaipur that could help her and give her some financial help to finish her studies. Thirdly she suggested that she could get a part-time job in Jaipur and also gave her the contact details of an NGO in Jaipur that she could apply for a study loan.

In this way Sambhali was providing her with some options and contact details in Jaipur which she could contact to help her continue her studies.

 Case Study 3

A young man called B.  24 years old     Verbal harassment and domestic abuse   Jaipur

B called from Jaipur and said that his parents were staying locally. His mother is very much in trouble as his father is ill-treating his mother, abusing her and sometimes beating her too. The father doesn’t listen to anyone including B’s mother. B. requested that Sambhali call his father on behalf of “a women’s HelpLine” and counsel him and warn him that if he continues to ill-treat his wife, action would be taken against him. B. asked not to disclose his name whilst calling his father. Our counsellor rang the father and requested that he stop abusing his wife. After 3 days, Sambhali called B to see if his father’s behaviour had changed and and said that some of it had changed (for the better).

 Case Study 4

A young woman called N.    21 years old    Gurgaon, (Haryana)    Relationship issues

N Called from Gurgaon and said that she was in a relationship with a boy and had been living together for the last 2 years. They both had decided to get married and the the families also agreed with their relationship, despite them being from different castes. N’s boyfriend said that he wanted to get his business settled before their marriage in Chandigarh, because that’s where he came from.  So N helped him financially because she wanted to get married as soon as possible. Her boyfriend, A, went to Chandigarh and soon afterwards wasn’t taking N’s calls. After 2 months, she tried to contact him via someone else. When she finally spoke to him, she said that she was pregnant and they would have to get married, but she was shocked to hear him say that he was not ready and advised her to terminate the pregnancy. She got depressed and called his mother who then let her know that he wanted to marry someone else from Chandigarh.  She was totally shattered and couldn’t decide whether she should marry him or move on in her life or teach him a lesson. She asked Sambhali for suggestions.

Mrs Tanwar, the counsellor suggested that she move on in her life; if she forcibly married him then she may or may not remain happy in their lives together. She advised that marriage is a relationship between 2 souls based wholly on truth. As he has broken her trust, she should not continue this relationship which is not based on truth. She should move forwards in her career and terminate her pregnancy. She should try and forget this incident in her life and move positively forwards to become an empowered woman. After the counselling, she felt very relaxed. Sambhali was able to help this young woman out of her depressed state and motivated her to move on with her life.

SOS Update

For the 3 months December – February 2017, there have been:

133 phonecalls including:

13 cases that required Medical help

20 cases of verbal harassment

17 cases of domestic abuse

 

Medical payments have been made in the following cases:

Kidney dialysis – 14787 rupees

TB treatment – 20896 rupees

Skin problems – 334 rupees

Diabetes – 1609 rupees

Liver complaint – 325 rupees

Eye testing – 1000 rupees

Operation on gland – 15000 rupees

Respiratory problems – 2205 rupees

 

Case Stories

 A 29 year old woman, G, from Jodhpur – Domestic Violence

G phoned from an area outside Jodhpur and was asked to meet Sambhali’s counsellor in Sambhali Trust offices. She came with her father to tell her story. She had been married for the last 6 years. She has an MA in English but her husband was only educated up to the 8th standard (about 14 years old). They had an arranged marriage and got engaged when they were very young in their childhood. Their relationship was not very good from the start and her husband began ill-treating her and harassing her both mentally and physically. This increased over time until it became intolerable and she decided to live separately from her husband. When she was leaving for her father’s home, her husband snatched her son and so the daughter arrived at her father’s house with only her daughter. G wants her son back; she wants to earn her own living and bring up both her children herself.

After listening to her story the counsellor called her husband, but he refused to give back their son to G. So it was suggested she go to the Police Commissioner’s office to try and obtain custody of the child. Sambhali’s counsellor went with the G and her father and the Police Commissioner ordered that the Police station in her area to deal with this case and take action to obtain custody for her son. Sambhali Trust helped in this case for G to go and meet a higher authority of police which meant her voice was heard and that action could be taken.

 A 20 year old woman, S from Jodhpur – Verbal Harassment

S is a student studying for her BA in her first year. She was in contact with a boy, (the cousin of a friend) and was in a relationship for a year. However, 2 months ago she became engaged to a boy from her own caste, (through arranged marriage) so ended the relationship with her previous boyfriend, but he didn’t want to finish it. He was then threatening to tell her family members about their relationship. S phoned Sambhali for advice. The counsellor advised her to talk to her mother about the whole story, which she did do and now her mother is ready to talk to the boy herself.

 23 year old woman, D, from Barmer – Verbal Harassment

D was married for 2 years and stayed with her in-laws. They were torturing her and her mother-in-law had threatened that she would get her son R, (S’s husband), remarried to another girl, because D was unable to conceive. For the last 2 years D felt very alone because her husband is staying far away. She is working in a government job but was very depressed. She gave her husband’s telephone number to the counsellor, who spoke to D’s husband. He was suggested to take care of his wife and take her to the doctor for a necessary check-up and to suggest medical help. He assured Sambhali that he would talk to his mother to stop her verbally abusing his wife and take care of her.

 23 year old woman from Balotra –  harassment

Mr S called to say that he wanted to marry  a particular woman. Her parents agreed to the marriage but the woman’s grandfather and uncle were against it, because it was an inter-caste marriage. They threatened to beat the couple, so S phoned to ask for advice. Sambhali suggested filing a police complaint to the police station against the family members by her parents and to also request police protection during the marriage ceremonies. He was advised to seek the advice of an advocate if this issue continued.

 30 year old woman, P from Haryana State – Domestic violence and verbal harassment

A lady called R, called from the state of Haryana (adjacent to Rajasthan) and said her sister, P, was staying with her. P is a dentist, and R said that her brother-in-law is ill-treating P. He is not allowing her to talk to anybody and has even taken away her cellphone. P told her sister all about this through her neighbour’s cellphone. Now R is worried about the condition of her sister, because she is pregnant. R called many times to her sister’s husband, but he never answered any of her calls.

Sambhali spoke directly to P’s husband, giving the reference of the Nirbhaya Women’s Helpline and then he talked to her about the situation. He said that he was from a village family and wanted to stay with his family in the village, but his wife was more educated and came from the metro city of Hyderabad. He said that she is having problems settling down into village life. After marriage they have been having some disputes. Sambhali counselled him and told him that he should try and solve their disputes mutually. Sambhali’s counsellor then spoke to P. on the same phone and suggested to her to bring some changes in her lifestyle as she thought her husband was a very good person and told her that they should spend some quality time with each other and try and solve their problems mutually. After counselling, P was much more relaxed. Finally, Sambhali phoned R, to let her know about the condition of her sister, P, and that P is keeping well and her husband was taking care of her.

 

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Organization Information

Sambhali Trust

Location: Jodhpur, Rajasthan - India
Website: http:/​/​www.sambhali-trust.org
Project Leader:
Govind Rathore
Jodhpur, Rajasthan India

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