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Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India

by Sambhali Trust
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India
Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India

 

Case stories

N. female 21yrs Jodhpur Child marriage

N married in 2006 when she was 10 years old and now wants a divorce. Her in-laws are living in the village and do farmwork. Her husband’s education was up to 12th class and has no job. N. is studying for a BA in English and is keen to study but her in-laws don’t want her to.  N. wants to make this child marriage void and is asking for legal assistance, so Sambhali assisted her to speak to the secretary of the legal aid authority who suggested she file a case. A lawyer was provided free of charge which is the rule in these cases where women seek to abolish their arranged child marriage.

 

R. male – Justice for his niece

On 5 June 2017, R’s niece K, and her daughter were killed in their village. K’s in-laws said it was suicide, but on 7/6/17 K’s father filed a case against K’s in-laws at the local police station. After this the police started the investigation, but now are not taking further action. K’s uncle travelled to Jodhpur to meet with the counsellor at Sambhali Trust with a file of the case. The counsellor took the number of the police who was investigating the case and spoke to him. He said that the man man accused of this murder had been arrested. The police promised that they would give full support to K’s father in this case.

 

M. Female 28 years old   Inter-caste marriage

M phoned Sambhali because her parents want her to marry a disabled man. They are against her studying, don’t let her work and torture her in many ways. She wants to marry someone her own age and whom she can understand. She said that someone wants to marry her; he is a teacher in a school. But due to his different caste, M’s parents won’t accept him and threaten to kill him. M also has a BEducation and wants to carry on with her career. She wanted advice as to what to do. Sambhali called her male friend and said that they are both adults and could get married in court/registry office if they wanted to. She suggested to consult with a lawyer to give them advice.

 

S. Female Domestic Abuse

S came into the Sambhali office with her relative. S told the counsellor that she lives in a village near Jodhpur and that she had been married for 6 years. She told that her husband drank too much alcohol and beat her. As long as she was with her husband she continued to suspect his character and he continued to abuse her. After having a son, when he was 1 year old, she went to live at her father’s house because she did not want her son to be influenced by her husband’s bad habits. Even then her husband followed her and abused her and continued to be abusive on the phone and also threatened to kill her. She said she had studied up to 12th Class and wanted to work being a teacher in a school. She said she wanted to stand on her own two feet and legally divorce her husband. That is why she came to the Sambhali office to ask for Legal Aid. Sambhali’s counsellor gave her general legal advice and spoke to a local lawyer whom then asked to see S. to provide her with legal assistance, so that she could understand the divorce process.

 

D Domestic Violence

D called up to say that his sister, S’s, husband drinks alcohol and beats her and degrades her sister’s character too. His sister is very upset. He believes his sister’s husband is having an affair with another woman. He is very worried about his sister but not want it to become a police case. Instead he wants his brother-in-law to have counselling. D asked for the HelpLine number and our counsellor gave him their local one in Jaipur.


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.As our counsellor Mrs Tanwar is on leave, we have not been able to get the May reports but for the months of March and April the figures are such:

Total calls – 80

Total cases – 47

Domestic Abuse – 7

Forced marriage – 1

Verbal harassment – 15

Sexual abuse - 1

Medical 8

Others 15

 

Expenditure for April and May

Kidney dialysis – 10,000 rupees

Medication for TB – 3351 rupees

Diabetes – 2642 rupees

Medical check-up – 150 rupees

Help for operation – 7000 rupees

Blood test – 500rs

 

Case Story 1

Lady called P. Age 39 years    Domestic abuse   Jodhpur

P’s husband was a hard drinker and abused her and beat her badly sometimes. He did not give P any money for the necessary needs of the family. She said that her husband also had an extra-marital affair with her elder sister and she came to know about their relationship. After that he started abusing her and stopped giving her household money.

She has 2 children, a daughter and a son. Her son doesn’t listen to her and supports his father because he gives him money to fulfil his desires. P’s parents also were not taking any notice of her story either. Nobody is talking to her and she was feeling lonely and depressed. She contacted Sambahli Trust to ask for suggestions. She didn’t want to go to the police station and didn’t want to harass her husband because she didn’t want to disturb her daughter’s studies. However due to lack of money she cannot help her daughter either.

P said she would like to earn some money to pay for the basic needs of the household. After listening to her story, Sambhali’s counsellor was able to advise her of the empowerment centres in Sambhali where they learn vocational skills in sewing and embroidery and learn to make Indian garments and accessories. After a 12 months course, she would have the skills to be able to sew at home (with a sewing machine donated by Sambhali) and start earning an income by sewing for her local community.  She has been enrolled in the Laadli Empowerment Centre in Jodhpur where she is receiving Sewing training and is now feeling better that she has a more hopeful future and the emotional support of the women in Sambhali.

 Case Story 2

Young woman aged 19 years    Sexual abuse   Jaipur

A young woman called H, phoned from Jaipur. She said that she came from Ahmedebad and is a student studying for a BTech in her 1st year at college. She told of her mother divorcing her father when she was 8 years old and married another man in Ahmedebad. H said that she never had affection towards her step-father as she grew up. He started harassing her sexually and used to touch her private parts. She told her mother but she did not say anything to her new husband and asked H. to stay quiet. Afterwards she told everything about her step-father to her maternal family but they didn’t support her stating that her stepfather was financially well off compared to them.

 So H decided to leave Ahmedebad. After finishing school she filled in the enrolment form to go to college in Jaipur. But now her parents want her to return to Ahmedebad and continue her studies there. Of course she doesn’t want to return to that life where she was harassed every day. Her parents warned her that next year they will not give her any fees and hostel expenses, so that she would have to return to Ahmedebad. She was very worried about her studies and asked Sambhali for suggestions. Mrs Tanwar, the Trust’s counsellor, suggested she share her problem with the warden of the hostel who might give a discount on her fees. Secondly she gave her the number of a Woman’s HelpLine that was actually in Jaipur that could help her and give her some financial help to finish her studies. Thirdly she suggested that she could get a part-time job in Jaipur and also gave her the contact details of an NGO in Jaipur that she could apply for a study loan.

In this way Sambhali was providing her with some options and contact details in Jaipur which she could contact to help her continue her studies.

 Case Study 3

A young man called B.  24 years old     Verbal harassment and domestic abuse   Jaipur

B called from Jaipur and said that his parents were staying locally. His mother is very much in trouble as his father is ill-treating his mother, abusing her and sometimes beating her too. The father doesn’t listen to anyone including B’s mother. B. requested that Sambhali call his father on behalf of “a women’s HelpLine” and counsel him and warn him that if he continues to ill-treat his wife, action would be taken against him. B. asked not to disclose his name whilst calling his father. Our counsellor rang the father and requested that he stop abusing his wife. After 3 days, Sambhali called B to see if his father’s behaviour had changed and and said that some of it had changed (for the better).

 Case Study 4

A young woman called N.    21 years old    Gurgaon, (Haryana)    Relationship issues

N Called from Gurgaon and said that she was in a relationship with a boy and had been living together for the last 2 years. They both had decided to get married and the the families also agreed with their relationship, despite them being from different castes. N’s boyfriend said that he wanted to get his business settled before their marriage in Chandigarh, because that’s where he came from.  So N helped him financially because she wanted to get married as soon as possible. Her boyfriend, A, went to Chandigarh and soon afterwards wasn’t taking N’s calls. After 2 months, she tried to contact him via someone else. When she finally spoke to him, she said that she was pregnant and they would have to get married, but she was shocked to hear him say that he was not ready and advised her to terminate the pregnancy. She got depressed and called his mother who then let her know that he wanted to marry someone else from Chandigarh.  She was totally shattered and couldn’t decide whether she should marry him or move on in her life or teach him a lesson. She asked Sambhali for suggestions.

Mrs Tanwar, the counsellor suggested that she move on in her life; if she forcibly married him then she may or may not remain happy in their lives together. She advised that marriage is a relationship between 2 souls based wholly on truth. As he has broken her trust, she should not continue this relationship which is not based on truth. She should move forwards in her career and terminate her pregnancy. She should try and forget this incident in her life and move positively forwards to become an empowered woman. After the counselling, she felt very relaxed. Sambhali was able to help this young woman out of her depressed state and motivated her to move on with her life.

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SOS Update

For the 3 months December – February 2017, there have been:

133 phonecalls including:

13 cases that required Medical help

20 cases of verbal harassment

17 cases of domestic abuse

 

Medical payments have been made in the following cases:

Kidney dialysis – 14787 rupees

TB treatment – 20896 rupees

Skin problems – 334 rupees

Diabetes – 1609 rupees

Liver complaint – 325 rupees

Eye testing – 1000 rupees

Operation on gland – 15000 rupees

Respiratory problems – 2205 rupees

 

Case Stories

 A 29 year old woman, G, from Jodhpur – Domestic Violence

G phoned from an area outside Jodhpur and was asked to meet Sambhali’s counsellor in Sambhali Trust offices. She came with her father to tell her story. She had been married for the last 6 years. She has an MA in English but her husband was only educated up to the 8th standard (about 14 years old). They had an arranged marriage and got engaged when they were very young in their childhood. Their relationship was not very good from the start and her husband began ill-treating her and harassing her both mentally and physically. This increased over time until it became intolerable and she decided to live separately from her husband. When she was leaving for her father’s home, her husband snatched her son and so the daughter arrived at her father’s house with only her daughter. G wants her son back; she wants to earn her own living and bring up both her children herself.

After listening to her story the counsellor called her husband, but he refused to give back their son to G. So it was suggested she go to the Police Commissioner’s office to try and obtain custody of the child. Sambhali’s counsellor went with the G and her father and the Police Commissioner ordered that the Police station in her area to deal with this case and take action to obtain custody for her son. Sambhali Trust helped in this case for G to go and meet a higher authority of police which meant her voice was heard and that action could be taken.

 A 20 year old woman, S from Jodhpur – Verbal Harassment

S is a student studying for her BA in her first year. She was in contact with a boy, (the cousin of a friend) and was in a relationship for a year. However, 2 months ago she became engaged to a boy from her own caste, (through arranged marriage) so ended the relationship with her previous boyfriend, but he didn’t want to finish it. He was then threatening to tell her family members about their relationship. S phoned Sambhali for advice. The counsellor advised her to talk to her mother about the whole story, which she did do and now her mother is ready to talk to the boy herself.

 23 year old woman, D, from Barmer – Verbal Harassment

D was married for 2 years and stayed with her in-laws. They were torturing her and her mother-in-law had threatened that she would get her son R, (S’s husband), remarried to another girl, because D was unable to conceive. For the last 2 years D felt very alone because her husband is staying far away. She is working in a government job but was very depressed. She gave her husband’s telephone number to the counsellor, who spoke to D’s husband. He was suggested to take care of his wife and take her to the doctor for a necessary check-up and to suggest medical help. He assured Sambhali that he would talk to his mother to stop her verbally abusing his wife and take care of her.

 23 year old woman from Balotra –  harassment

Mr S called to say that he wanted to marry  a particular woman. Her parents agreed to the marriage but the woman’s grandfather and uncle were against it, because it was an inter-caste marriage. They threatened to beat the couple, so S phoned to ask for advice. Sambhali suggested filing a police complaint to the police station against the family members by her parents and to also request police protection during the marriage ceremonies. He was advised to seek the advice of an advocate if this issue continued.

 30 year old woman, P from Haryana State – Domestic violence and verbal harassment

A lady called R, called from the state of Haryana (adjacent to Rajasthan) and said her sister, P, was staying with her. P is a dentist, and R said that her brother-in-law is ill-treating P. He is not allowing her to talk to anybody and has even taken away her cellphone. P told her sister all about this through her neighbour’s cellphone. Now R is worried about the condition of her sister, because she is pregnant. R called many times to her sister’s husband, but he never answered any of her calls.

Sambhali spoke directly to P’s husband, giving the reference of the Nirbhaya Women’s Helpline and then he talked to her about the situation. He said that he was from a village family and wanted to stay with his family in the village, but his wife was more educated and came from the metro city of Hyderabad. He said that she is having problems settling down into village life. After marriage they have been having some disputes. Sambhali counselled him and told him that he should try and solve their disputes mutually. Sambhali’s counsellor then spoke to P. on the same phone and suggested to her to bring some changes in her lifestyle as she thought her husband was a very good person and told her that they should spend some quality time with each other and try and solve their problems mutually. After counselling, P was much more relaxed. Finally, Sambhali phoned R, to let her know about the condition of her sister, P, and that P is keeping well and her husband was taking care of her.

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From September-November 2016

Total telephone calls: 80

Total cases: 49 of which:

20 Domestic Abuse

2 Forced Marriages

15 Verbal Abuse

10 Medical cases

4 Sexual Abuse cases

1 Legal case

1 Other

 Phonecalls to the Toll-free Nirbhaya HelpLine that Sambhali Trust runs, come from far and wide across India- from Delhi in the north to Mumbai in the south. This shows the reach that this HelpLine has and it's necessity for the women who call. Because of the large distances involved in India and even within the state of Rajasthan, it is impossible to always see the women in person, so in these cases the women are given the numbers of women police station or authorities that will help them in their local area. Sambhali Trust has a dedicated member of staff who takes the calls and who is able to counsel the caller on the line and offer her the best advice and course of action. 

These are just a few of the stories of the women whom Sambhali helped in the last 3 months.

Case stories

1. An 18 year old girl from Bhilwara called to complain about her father who wants her to get married to a man twice her age because in return, the man’s sister would marry the girl’s uncle. However, the mother of the proposed groom and also the man himself refused which led to the father repeatedly beating the girl and verbally abusing her.

After discussions with Sambhali friends close to the girl have suggested to lodge a complaint against her father to stop torturing her

2. A 28 year old young woman from Nagori Gate in Jodhpur called to say that she had tried to commit suicide but her father saved her. She is very upset with her mother-in-law who uses abusive language towards her and no-one lets her out of the house. When she tells her father, he scolds her. She is educated and wants to get a job and have a better life.

Sambhali called her husband and told him everything. The young woman came with her father to Sambhali Trust to discuss the situation. It was decided that until the time her mother-in-law could behave better towards her, then she would stay with her parents. The husband would call his sister to make the mother understand and he promises to make things better.

 3. A 40 year old woman from Delhi called about her sister who lives in Kota and unfortunately is infertile. She and her husband adopted a girl child but the sister-in-law came to her house and beat her and even the little young girl a lot. There is a dispute about the property and whose name it should be in. The sister-in-law threatened to kill them if they informed the police.

Sambhali suggested to ignore the threats and inform the female police station in Kota.

 4. A woman called from her village in Rajasthan to say that her husband is drinking a lot and beating her. She has been suffering from domestic violence for the last 5 years and now feels she wants to complain.

 Sambhali suggested that she made a complaint to the nearest female police station to their village so that they can go and talk to the husband.

 5. A 32 year old woman, N,  from Kota in Rajasthan called to say that she was very depressed in her married life because her husband is not caring towards her; her in-laws’ family is very orthodox and her father-in-law verbally abuses her. She has decided to live separately to her husband, but found she still wasn’t happy and so decided to approach Sambhali Trust to ask for counselling.  When N. called Sambhali, a member of the Sambhali team counselled her about her problems she was having and suggested having more trust and communication with her husband. The staff member called N’s husband and told him that N. had rung asking for help, the issues that troubled her, about her mental state and how she is feeling very alone as her parents are also not talking to her; there was nobody that she could talk to or trust. Sambhali encouraged N’s husband to try and talk to her, give her some quality time and discuss what matters to her so that she feels he understands her and is supporting her. He promised to do this and two days later he called back to say that some good changes have happened after this counselling.

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Here are various case stories from the last 3 months illustrating some of the women that call our HelpLine and the issues that affect them.

GD age 49, Nagore/ Kuchaman city 

“I was married at the age of 17 yrs. I did a nursing course and my husband obtained a BA but he did not work anywhere. I wanted to study further and get a job but he did not allow me to. I tried to talk with my parents but they also said that I had to follow what my in-laws were saying. They have also stopped me from everything. My husband is always suspicious with me and does not let me out of the house”.

 Sambhali took her husband and in-law telephone numbers so we could talk with them about G and explain to them that she should be given a chance to progress in life. We also registered a complaint in the nearby female police station. We tried to convince her husband. He explained that there is no need that she works, but we said it is not only about financial independence but about her personal growth as well. So he promised to support her.

 

 PP Age 21 yrs, Madhav harijan Basti

 P`s husband hit her many times and had thrown her out of their house. She registered a complaint at the police station but no action was taken. P’s husband and sister-in-law came to her mother`s place and started abusing her and tried to burn her with acid. Both mother and daughter rushed to nearest police station and registered complaint but they did not write the correct situation and no action was taken for 4-5 days. P came to Samhali and told us the whole matter. Our Sambhali staff went to the police station and requested to re-write the complaint with the exact details. Her husband was arrested in 2-3 days and we registered a case of domestic violence and that he tried to kill her. Court appointment and a mediator who counselled them made them agree to live together. The expenses were taken care by Sambhali.

 

R. Age 22 years, Bharatpur, Rajasthan

R contacted Sambhali through the Nirbhaya Helpline and told us that one stranger is making calls on her cell phone continuously for the last two – three days and is continuously using vague words for her. She warned that person to not to repeat such activity again but the other person was constantly calling and disturbing her. She called us to ask what steps she needed to take and she also suggested that we should return the call and warn the culprit that a police case will be filed against him.

When this case came to our knowledge, we instantly called that person and warned him that police proceedings can be initiated against him if he was found to commit this mistake again. We were then constantly in touch with R for the next two to three days and then R told us that they are not receiving such calls again.

  

J  Aged 35 years  Bhagat Ki Kothi, Jodhpur, Rajasthan

 We received a call from a woman about J who works as a maid in her house. Miss A. told us that J was displaced out of her own house along with her three children because of a fight that happened between her husband, mother-in-law & her sister-in-law. She reported that when her husband gets drunk frequently he beats her & then her mother-in-law and sister-in-law often get involved in the argument. J lives in her husband’s house but in a separate room which she herself created by taking out a loan. This is the reason that she can’t afford to live in another house. She works as a maid in three houses and through these earnings she repays the loan. She was very much afraid of going home after this incident and she also had a thought of suicide in her mind.

After receiving the call we called the J to the office & took a note of the matter. After that her husband & brother-in-law were also called to the office to which they did not give any response. Then we went to Women Police Station in Ratanada and reported the whole matter to them. Then we went to the J’s house along with the members of the Women Police Station and also with the Police Officers of the area in which there was jurisdiction. Then the order of “Restriction” was issued in which it was instructed that no one will use any violent methods against J & also allow her to enter to the house freely. J. was also advised to not to get into any violent arguments that can lead to a violent outcome. After that we followed up the situation for next two days, in which wecalled the local Police Officer in the same evening and instructed him to visit the place of the incident & the Police Officer reported that everything was normal & peaceful.

 

P. Aged 28 years, Jodhpur, Rajasthan

P. was a student of nursing, and was called to Jodhpur one and half years ago from Koth Putali, Jaipur, as per the influence and guidance of a police constable of Jodhpur Central Jail named “HS”. HS kept P for a period of one and a half years with him on the promise that he will marry her one day. Now P is two months pregnant and the Police constable is now refusing to marry her by giving reasoning that they both belong to a different caste and their parents are also not accepting their relationship. So P contacted us and with our help she wanted to create pressure on HS to marry her.

 

We suggested P to file a case against HS and also told her to involve her family members by telling them the whole issue to which the family members responded in a negative sense. When P reported the FIR to the Police Authorities, the Superintendent of Police gave a deadline to both the parties to get married in one or two days. Then HS contacted us to get the marriage ceremony done and we proceeded further and got the registration of the marriage done.

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Organization Information

Sambhali Trust

Location: Jodhpur, Rajasthan - India
Website:
Facebook: Facebook Page
Twitter: @SambhaliTrust
Project Leader:
Govind Rathore
Jodhpur, Rajasthan India

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