" I never realized how scary harassment was for women until I went thorugh Not Guilty's training".
These words were uttered by a man in Cook Door factory who works in the HR department.
Not Guilty is adamant on making men a pivotal part of the Eve of the factory training.
Yet, every time we train, we need to tweak the program a little bit.
It is amazing how women in the Middle East still believe that the way a woman dresses makes it OK for a man to harass or sexually abuse her.
In the last factory we trained at, and in the pre testing, one of the questions was, "Do you think the way a woman dresses increases her risk of harassment"? Mind you, Egypt is quite a conservative country and most ost of the women in that particular training, answering the pre testing questionnaire were veiled.
The amazimg thing was that the next question was, "Have you yourself ever been harassed"? 100% of the women answered "YES".
Going through the questions with the women, we asked them, then why do men harass you if you are veiled? and this question always catches women by surprise. They cannot reconcile what they think wth what actually happens to them.
This shows the power of culture which many times superseded the power of logic. Women actually beleive that they bring harassment on themselves, and completely absolve the harasser of his crime.
Not Guilty is seriously considering researching the power of culture that makes women believe that some women actually deserve to be harassed. How sad!
Not Guilty has added an anger management component in the Eve of the Factory training, where we train attendees on healthy and unhealthy ways to manage their anger, whether it be because of harassment.
We plan to train in 10 factories until the end of this year.
Help us abolish hrassment and abuse.
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Shahad is a beautiful Syrian mother who had to flee the war with her four children after her husband died during the Syrian war. She fled on foot to Jordan. Wanting to make a living, she started looking for work.
In Jordan, refugees are not allowed to work and are not allowed to put their children into schools.
With all doors closed, she found only the door of prostitution open to her to feed her children.
After one year, she learned of a sewing program at a place in Marka. She started going especially when she learned that she got a free sewing machine when she graduated from the program.
Halfway through the program, her teacher asked her how she was providing for her children, and how she was paying rent. Shahad burst out crying, shamefully telling her teacher of her story. She had grown to trust and respect her teacher. Somehow, she realized that her teacher would not judge her, but be able to help her.
Sure enough, her teacher not only gave her the sewing machine on her graduation day but helped her to move from that place where she was forced to sleep with the landlord and the grocery seller to pay for her children's needs.
She moved and opened an alterations place right there in her new apartment to keep an eye on her four children while she works. It felt good to make money with dignity.
As for her four children, two had postt traumatic stress disorder. Shahad, not knowing what to do, and being stressed herself beat them up really bad.
When Not Guilty team arrived in Jordan, we made house visits to invite all sewing students and graduated to attend a session on trauma therapy for war kids.
There were over 50 women present. Many shared their struggles and problems with bringing up their children singlehanded after being exposed to so much trauma and pain.
Shahad promised she would not hit her children again.
We trained all parents on the STOP method designed by Phyllis Kilbourne: Structure, Time and Talk, Organized play and Parental role.
"No one ever spoke to us about this subject before. We need longer sessions and more training". One of the mothers said.
Sure enough, Not Guilty will be taking two trips in 2019.
If you want to join us, email me at info@notguiltyinc.org
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Last July, I was in Amman, Jordan. I was ministering with Iraqi refugee children.
While there, I came across a lot of Syrian women refugees who have fled from Syria to Jordan.
One of the women, in her mid-thirties, had a look of brokenness and sadness. She was in a sewing class. When I asked about her story, I learned that she fled with her three children ages 3,5 and 6 after their house was bombed and her husband was killed. She escaped with nothing. Her three children were screaming as they passed the Syria/ Jordan borders.
As she learned sewing, her three children were attending a Montessori school across the street. A Montessori school with a focus on trauma therapy for war kids.
I learned that before she started in sewing school, she had no means to pay for rent and food. When asked by the head of the sewing school how she paid the rent, her tears rolled down her cheeks. "It costs me dearly." The head of the sewing school learned that the price for rent and for food and for meat was sex.
"I feel so filthy, but I had to feed my children." When the head of the sewing school learned of this, she concentrated on that Syrian girl learning quickly. Then the school bought her a sewing machine and moved her to a new place in Jordan where she put a little sign on her apartment door that reads" ALTERATIONS.
Now she is living life with dignity providing for her children.
When I heard that story, my heart was so moved that I decided to take the Not Guilty team on November 20-24, 2018 to Amman Jordan to minister to the kids at the Montessori school, as well as to the women in the sewing school.
The project- Eve of the Factory- is extending to Syrian women living in Jordan, as well as to Iraq refugees.
We will be training 50 women and 100 kids.
We will need extra funds for this project, which will cost $12,500 but I am sure God will use many to provide for this fantastic project.
I hope you have already bought and read my new book, What Happens After #MeToo- Tackling the Iceberg available on Amazon.
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We are starting a new era in the Eve of the Factory project involving the men in the training.
At the Cook Door fast-food factory, we trained 30 factory men and 30 factory women with the anti-sexual abuse training.
It was amazing to see how men did not know anything about boundaries, yet when we played with them the boundaries games during the workshop, they had stronger boundaries than the women, shouting STOP at a further distance than women.
The women really appreciated the fact that men were involved.
"I will feel safer now, knowing that men went through the same training like us". said one factory girl worker.
Since this training is not common in Egypt, we are extending this training and tweaking it to become a training for the workplace in general and not only for factory workers.
We have approached two banks and are waiting for their reply to perform the training in their bank for employees.
Dr. Laila Risgallah Wahba, Founder, and President of Not Guilty, is in the process of rewriting the curriculum to fit a different audience but with the same topics.
Dr. Laila Risgallah Wahba is also launching her new book, What Happens After #MeToo on August 1 to reach a broader platform with anti-sexual abuse awareness.
Our vision is to reach at least 2 more factories and three banks by the end of the year.
The challenges we face is the stigma that if they agree to do the training it means that they have cases. Part of our message is forewarned is forearmed. The organizations do not need to have cases, but it is much better to have the training in place to set the culture of the workplace as a safe environment.
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"I did not know how to put boundaries until today". These were words uttered by Samya who was one of the attendants of our training at the Cook Door factory. The Cook Door factory is a food factory with many sandwaich shops across Cairo.
This project is a partnership between Not Guilty and Save the Children. There were 30 workers present. The training took place in February 2018.
Since we decided to involve men in the safety in the workplace trainings, things have become so interesting. Teaching boundaries to men is actually an eye opener. Many men feel suffocated, one of them even screamed STOP IT RIGHT NOW, when he felt the group getting too close to him in one of the games.
Yet, Cook Door owners were wary about letting Not Guilty team train about harassment in the work place. They did not know what to expect since this training is quite new in Egypt.
So they decided to try us out once, then, if they like the training to go ahead and do the full five days.
SO, we decided to do the sessions on boundries. two sessions for men, and two for women.
It was amazing how men and women react differently: men were actually more annoyed when someone intruded into their private space delineated by a hoolah hoop. It is only then that they realized how annoying it is to women to have their boundaries broken.
"We never understood", commented Ahmed, one of the factory workers. "We always thought it was fun, adding some excitment to the dreary and long work days. But, I decided to stop now that I exeprienced that feeling of suffocation and annoyment".
One of the games we play during the workshop are the circles of boundaries, where they would put acquaintances in the outer circle, and get closer and closer till they reach the inner circle of the family and the spouse. Many had mixed up boundaries, putting people who should be in the outer circle in a circle closer to the family. They realsed that boundaries are good and they make healthy realtionships.
"Today, I learned I can put boundaries, even if the other party does not like it. My body belongs to me, and I get to decide what boundaries I need to have. I feel so empowered. Thank you Not Guilty".
Did Cook Door decide to take the rest of the training? Yes. Now, we are preparing for a training in August to the whole factory team.
We want to reach at least 15 factories in 2018.
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