Change mindset of a physically disabled child Peru

The story of Iker and his family is the story of many households learning to rebuild themselves amid constant change. It has not been easy for any of them: the father left the country in search of better opportunities, the mother carries even more responsibilities, the sister entering adolescence lives with the weight of always being “the strong one,” “the one who should be fine,” and “the one nobody sees,” and a boy who, at only ten years old and a phisycaldisability, felt forced to silence his emotions about all of this because that is how he got used to coping—it hurt less that way. 

For a long time, emotions were swept under the rug. Iker’s silence spoke louder than a thousand words; his reserve was his way of protecting himself. Mayté, his sister, invisible to parents consumed by other pains, carried the mission of being the support, the caretaker, the one who had to endure. And the mother, trapped between absence, financial demands, and desperation, oscillated between allowing too much and correcting harshly, without realizing that what she was really trying to do was simply keep her family from falling apart. 

But something changed. After a major family crisis, the mother sought help in a psychology practice and shared her distress. The therapeutic space became a refuge, a place where time stood still so they could look inward. There, little by little, each one dared to name their pain. Iker began to speak, to recognize that feeling does not make him weak, but human. He learned that it’s not always about winning, but about understanding, being fair, and recognizing what is right. His sister Mayté began to heal the invisible wounds of having been “the forgotten one,” and to recognize herself as valuable, worthy of care and love. And the mother, in the midst of her exhaustion, discovered that setting limits is also a way of loving, and that supporting her children does not mean losing herself, she found strength in setting boundaries and caring for herself as well. 

Healing is a process, and no child should go through it alone, for that reason it was so important to involve his family in the process and help them heal together.Like every process, it is not a perfect one. Arguments, frustrations, and silences still exist. But now there is a bridge: the bridge of words, of listening, of the intention to do better. What was hidden for years is beginning to surface, and although it hurts, it also frees. Because true transformation does not happen overnight, but in those small steps that seem almost invisible, yet gradually give shape to a new way of living as a family—one in which everyone is learning to cooperate, to follow routines, and to value one another. 

The story of this family reminds us that healing does not mean forgetting or erasing what hurt. Healing is having the courage to face it, to name it, and, despite everything, to choose to move forward together. 

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Parenting a child with a special need, whether a physical disability, a learning delay, an emotional challenge, or a developmental disorder, may require the acquisition of specific skills, such as specific caregiving and demand a commitment of time and energy that can jeopardize careers, marriages, and parents mental health. And this overwhelming demand for changes in family and each parent's personal life can create great distress for both them and their child.

This is the case of Kyliam, a three-year-old boy, highly desired and awaited by the family, even before he was born both parents had dreams and goals for him, and with the diagnosis they received last year, these hopes were shattered, generating anguish and despair in them. As expected, each parent lived their grieving process in their own way, since to cope with the news, each one had to adapt to the new family reality and regain emotional stability. The father assumed an attacking role with his partner, unconsciously blaming her for everything that happened with their son, psychologically harming her without realizing the magnitude of his actions, and with his son, he did the opposite, overprotecting him and allowing him everything. For him, his son was an eternal baby whom he had to protect, and that generated behavioral problems and aggressiveness in the child. In the case of the mother, she fell into a depressive state due to guilt, grief, and the stress of raising her child while her partner worked; everything she felt she kept to herself for fear of being judged, ignored, or blamed, as a reaction to her internal emotional phenomena, she developed excessive anger and frequently lost her patience, especially with Kyliam.

They knew that they were not well, they felt like bad parents, their son was uncontrollable and their relationship had deteriorated too much, but they did not give up and went to the psychology department. There in family therapy, little by little, they started unloading their emotions, freeing themselves from grudges, forgiving each other, and finding new ways to raise Kyliam better. The benefits of family therapy include improved communication skills, enhanced bonds between family members, support during tough times and major life transitions, increased understanding and empathy and effective coping strategies for dealing with individual and familial challenges. While every family with children with disabilities particular need may be different, the the biggest recommendation will be not let their own physical and mental well-being decline, and that was the focus of the therapy provided to this family, the mother and father were intervened, both together and separately, work was also done with Kyliam, and in each session there was a little more improvement from everyone.