Leaving a domestic violence situation can be a complex and traumatic experience for a survivor. It often involves a mix of emotions, including fear, anxiety, relief, guilt, and shame.
The survivor may have been subjected to physical, emotional, psychological, and/or sexual abuse, and leaving can feel like the only option to escape the violence. However, it is not always a straightforward process and leaving may involve significant obstacles, such as financial dependency, lack of support from friends or family, concerns about the safety of their children, and fear of retaliation from the abuser.
After leaving, the survivor may experience a range of physical and emotional symptoms, such as stress, depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The process of healing and rebuilding their life can be long and difficult, but with the right support, many survivors are able to find hope and begin the journey to recovery.
We are immensely grateful to our donors and our supporters that so generously contribute that allow us to offer women, girls and their families a safe and homely environment and receive the care that the Safe Home offers them.
The Story below is such a beautiful testimony to what the Safe Home can offer victims of abuse:
BHAVYA AND PRANAY FIND THEMSELVES AGAIN AND DETERMINED TO SHARE THEIR LIVES
Eight years ago, Bhavya married the man of her dreams. She loved Pranay with all her heart and so did he. They got married in secret as their parents did not approve of the union. A year passed by in happiness and joy. They enjoyed each other’s company and Bhavya couldn’t be happier.
A year into the marriage, Pranay started drinking alcohol and began to verbally abuse Bhavya. Bhavya felt heartbroken. He started criticizing her cooking which he used to once love. Determined to mend her relationship she started cooking multiple meals, all to Pranay’s liking. Unfortunately, he still did not like the food and preferred to eat at a restaurant every day. Furthermore, he refused to provide any financial support to Bhavya for the household and personal expenses. He started restricting her mobility by monitoring her activity and not allowing her to go beyond the four walls of the house. Bhavya felt like a prisoner in her own home. Bhavya continued to bear the abuse as she felt he might change soon. Over the years, she gave birth to two children.
One day, dejected by her situation Bhavya decided to take matters into her own hands and sought counseling. She approached Operation PeaceMaker for support where our counselors provided her with free counseling support. After a few sessions, Bhavya felt better. The counselor helped her improve her self-esteem by engaging her in various activities and introspecting her past decisions.
Feeling better about herself, Bhavya started working from home. But her husband’s behavior did not improve. He continued to emotionally and verbally abuse her. Unable to bear the abuse, she gathered the confidence and raised her voice against him. This led to an explosive fight where she was subjected to physical abuse by her husband in front of her children.
Scared for the life of herself and her children, Bhavya decided to walk away from Pranay. She wished to go to her parent’s home but they were not in the city. She then contacted the counsellor for support who helped Bhavya and her children move to our Safe Home. At the Safe Home, Bhavya and her children were engaged in various activities as therapy. During this period, her husband also agreed to undergo counselling. He admitted to having trouble controlling his anger and feeling anxious all the time. He also consulted a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with depression and advised medical intervention.
The medical intervention and psychological counselling are helping Pranay with his anger issues and depression. Pranay and Bhavya also started working on their relationship. They wished to reunite and are living together today. Pranay understood the importance of mental health and is taking the necessary help. Bhavya and her children are safe and happy as they live in a violence-free home.
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We have heard similar stories and have seen how difficult it can be for some survivors to find a safe place to stay – and we opened doors for a new beginning, Lotus Safe Home, in 2018. Since then, we have helped 90 brave survivors of domestic violence to a fresh start with hope and courage, where women are provided counselling, legal aid and vocational training to help them get back on their feet.
The Lotus Safe Home has been a turning point and a beacon of hope in many women’s and children’s lives. It helped them to gain a sense of self-identity and hit the road ahead with courage and determination—the Lotus Safe Home has been a pathway for many to start to feel truly alive. Since January 2022, we have supported 48 women and children through our Safe Home. While residing in the Safe Home, the survivors have regular appointments with counsellors who help them to specify their needs and explore possible solutions through building emotional strength and a concrete plan of action. Survivors take part in art therapy as well as vocational training that allows them to develop a skill once they depart the safe home.
Shyama’s journey to freedom
A 19-year-old girl, Shyama's dreams of continuing her education were dashed when her parents wanted her to marry. She was verbally abused by her father, and her mother was unsupportive. A few months ago, one of the villagers moved abroad and promised that when he returned, he would marry Shyama and this gave her hope. Shyama was forced by her father to marry a person of their choice. She refused to marry her and therefore her father started abusing her physically. Unable to bear the abuse she ran away from her house. She carried some money with her, reached a nearby bus station, and decided to move to the city. When she arrived at the bus terminal, a social worker found her and tried to counsel her. Knowing the perils of leaving a young girl on the road unattended the social worker dialed the women helpline number 181, and the authorities redirected them to our Safe Home.
Initially, an anxious and frightened Shyama refused to share her personal information. Over time, our counsellors gained her trust, and Shyama decided to share the contact details of her family. The Lotus Safe Home team immediately contacted her father, who was in the police station to file a missing complaint for his daughter. We immediately contacted and informed them. The local police along with the local leaders investigated the situation.
We organised a counselling session for both Shyama and her parents. The team of counsellors confronted both the parties and allowed them to speak their views. After many sessions, our counsellors made them understand their roles in their respective relationships and emphasis was laid on Shyama that she is a young girl and they need to understand the changes she is undergoing. Our counsellors explained that it is not right to control and be rigid with her. We proposed to her that she should try and improve her communications and practice more patience, plan and have a goal in her life.
Our counsellors aimed to unite the family back together. The ongoing counselling sessions gradually help build trust and empathy for each other. The client agreed to return home after alteration with her parents. A few days later, her father verbally abused her, leading to anguish and pain. She immediately left her home in sadness and anger and informed us. We encouraged her to come to the Safe House instead of making any emotional decisions to harm herself or run away. After she arrived at the Lotus Safe House, we informed her parents and they were very angry to hear about her act of not respecting her elders. During the counselling sessions, we realised she was in a lot of pain and distress, and we encouraged her to pursue her dreams and make her family proud. Days passed and Shyama was involved in various arts and crafts activities and was taught to make handmade soaps, wall hangings, doormats and much more.
At the Lotus Safe Home, victims of violence and abuse are provided with a safe space to help them through their difficult journey. Our team helps the survivors by providing constant support through counselling sessions where they are taught about how domestic violence and its impact on their lives. We work with victims to explore various options to allow them to become financially independent and provide for themselves and their families. We support the survivors by working alongside them to explore their interests, talents, and capabilities.
After a few weeks of counselling and evaluation of her mental well-being, she happily enrolled herself in a job readiness programme. It was a three-month course at Yashoda Foundation where she underwent various training, including soft and social skills training, operating the computer, and handling the help desk. After months of training and hard work, Shyama was offered a job at a retail company.
Her dedication has led her to fly and widen her wings to achieve great heights of success. Through the Safe Home, we aim to help women stand on their feet and live a life with dignity and respect.
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Our Safe home aims to create a safe space for healing for survivors of violence and abuse. Since November 2021, more than 15 survivors have stayed at the safe home and availed the free support in the journey of living free from violence and abuse. Our team helped these women with a variety of tasks - providing medical care, vocational training, filing of FIR, and assistance in looking for employment opportunities. These women were referred to our safe home by our counsellors and partners at Childline India, Save the Children and Hyderabad Police Station.
Through our work, at the Safe Home, we have provided long-term shelter, medical and psychiatric treatment to survivors. We have also provided childcare for survivors who have children. During their stay at the Safe Home, the survivors engaged in various activities as a part of their ongoing therapy - making handicrafts, tailoring, gardening and art therapy.
Bhavya’s journey to a violence-free home
8 years ago, Bhavya* married the man of her dreams. She loved Pranay* with all her heart and so did he. They got married in secret as their parents did not approve of the union. A year passed by in happiness and joy. They enjoyed each other’s company and Bhavya couldn’t be happier.
A year later into the marriage, Pranay started drinking alcohol and verbally abusing Bhavya. Bhavya felt heartbroken. He started criticising her cooking which he used to once love. Determined to mend her relationship she started cooking multiple meals, all to Pranay’s liking. Unfortunately, he still did not like the food and preferred to eat at a restaurant every day. Furthermore, he refused to provide any financial support to Bhavya for the household and personal expenses. He started restricting her mobility by monitoring her activity and not allowing her to go beyond the four walls of the house. Bhavya felt like a prisoner in her own home. Bhavya continued to bear the abuse as she felt he might change soon. Over the years, she gave birth to two children.
One day, dejected by her situation Bhavya decided to take matters into her hands and sought counselling. She approached Operation PeaceMaker for support where our counsellors provided her with free counselling support. After a few sessions, Bhavya felt better. The counsellor helped her improve her self-esteem by engaging her in various activities and introspecting her past decisions.
Feeling better about herself, Bhavya started working from home. But her husband’s behaviour did not improve. He continued to emotionally and verbally abuse her. Unable to bear the abuse, she gathered the confidence and raised her voice against him. This led to an explosive fight where she was subjected to physical abuse by her husband in front of her children.
Scared for the life of herself and her children, Bhavya decided to walk away from Pranay. She wished to go to her parent’s home but they were not in the city. She then contacted the counsellor for support who helped Bhavya and her children move to our Safe Home. At the Safe Home, Bhavya and her children were engaged in various activities as therapy. During this period, her husband also agreed to undergo counselling. He admitted to having trouble controlling his anger and feeling anxious all the time. He also consulted a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with depression and advised medical intervention.
The medical intervention and psychological counselling are helping Pranay with his anger issues and depression. Pranay and Bhavya also started working on their relationship. They wished to reunite and are today living together. Pranay understood the importance of mental health and is taking the necessary help. Bhavya and her children are safe and happy as they live in a violence-free home.
*Name changed to protect people’s identity.
Having a safe space for reflection is one of the most valuable assurances a survivor of domestic abuse can have and that is exactly what our Safe Home offer to the survivors to arrive here. While residing in the Safe Home, the survivors have regular appointments with counsellors who help them to specify their needs and explore possible solutions through building emotional strength and a concrete plan of action. Survivors take part in art therapy, as well as vocational training that allows them to develop a skill once they depart the safe home.
Music Therapy at Safe Home
The goal of the session was to relax the survivors while encouraging them to express themselves emotionally.
The therapist started the session by simply sharing about her week and encouraged others to also share how their week was going. Everyone was reluctant to share as the session began but as a participant took the initiative and started sharing, the momentum grew. Week highlights included exam results, baby having a good day and general things like feeling safe at the safe home.
We did a short relaxation and breathing focus exercise to lead into the main activity. The therapist asked each member to divide their paper into 6 different blocks/squares. One by one the therapist played various songs. They had to listen to each song intently, and after each song, they drew whatever they felt or saw or imagined during that song. Songs ranged from heavy metal to classical and Bollywood, for them to express the different emotions evoked by each song.
The therapist then probed about their favourite and least favourite songs. Then asked them to look at their pictures, and without thinking about the music, just by looking at their pictures, choose their favourite one. Interestingly, they all chose a different picture than the picture evoked by their favourite song. The therapist then probed each participant individually to share some of their pictures. They shared wonderful memories and insights.
The therapist then guided them with relating each experience to their current life and situation. All the participants were very cooperative, creative and enjoyed the session. It was a wonderful time of stimulation, expression and relaxation.
Psycho-Education at Safe Home
At the Safe Home, victims of violence and abuse are provided with a safe space to help through their difficult journey. Our team helps the survivor by providing constant support through counselling sessions where they are taught about how domestic violence is an issue and its impact on their lives. We also engage the survivors in various arts and crafts activities where they are taught to make handmade soaps, wall hangings, doormats and much more.
We work with victims to explore various options to allow them to become financially independent and provide for themselves and their families. We support the survivors by working alongside her to explore her interests, talents and capabilities. Through the Safe Home, we aim to help women stand up on their feet and live a life with dignity and respect.
Neena’s fight for justice
Neena lives with her husband of 11 years and two daughters. She has been subjected to physical, emotional and verbal abuse by her husband throughout her marriage. During the pandemic, when her husband failed to provide for the family, things became difficult for everyone at home. They were unable to afford basic necessities. The money that they saved up was used by her husband to indulge in alcohol and was not given to Neena to help run the household. The abuse even escalated during this period as he forced her to be intimate with him. She started fearing for her life. Neena approached our PeaceMaker (community paralegal) Hemlatha who suggested that she approach our counsellor for assistance. Neena visited the centre once but failed to visit again as she did not have the money to pay for transportation to reach the centre and was unable to continue to keep the communication going through with the counsellor.
One day her children expressed concern over their safety by living with their father. Overcome by fear, Neena decided to leave her husband and found herself at our safe home. At the safe home, she was provided with counselling support. As she regained her confidence, she was encouraged to look for a job to start working. Neena wished to file an FIR against her husband for the pain that he put her through. Our team is supporting her through this journey to help her get the justice she deserves.
Today, Neena feels confident, safe and lives happily with her children. She is determined to fight for her rights and get the justice she rightly deserves.
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The COVID-19 pandemic has forced many women to be locked in with the perpetrators. With our Safe Home, we are providing a haven for survivors to protect themselves from violent situations. Since March 2021, we have assisted 10 women at our Safe Home. These women were referred to our home through our counsellors and local Police Stations. Our team helped these women with a variety of tasks - providing medical care, vocational training, filing of FIR, and assistance in looking for employment opportunities.
While at the Safe Home, the women engage in various activities like art and crafts, soap making and gardening. Some of the soaps made by the survivors were distributed among the survivors who were leaving the safe home, low-income families living around the safe home and Greater Hyderabad Municipal Corporation (GHMC).
Our Safe Home also engaged in COVID-19 relief activities. We ran a campaign to distribute masks to the employees of GHMC who work tirelessly to ensure we have a safe city. Our team also provided cooked meals to three families who were suffering from COVID-19. We ensured they had proper meals until they recovered from the disease.
Arya’s journey towards self-confidence
Arya* did not talk or engage in any of the activities organised at the Safe Home when she first arrived. She was extremely weak and got panic attacks.
Arya lost her mother and her father abandoned her to remarry. Abandoned at a young age, Arya was brought up by well-wishers and other care-takers. During one of her stays as a caretaker, she fell in love with a boy who reciprocated her feelings and promised marriage. When Arya would ask him about the marriage he would defer the question and eventually refused to marry him. Her fear of abandonment crept up when he refused to marry, feeling disheartened Arya filed a police report. The Police officers referred her to our Safe Home where Arya was safe.
At the Safe Home, Arya underwent psychological and medical tests to determine her health. Based on the test results, Arya was given medication and was also undergoing counselling with the help of our counsellor. Our counsellor helped Arya by encouraging her to express her feeling through art and music. It took some time before Arya would open up, but eventually, through the help of our counsellor and the extended team, she was finally able to make a breakthrough and started talking about her fears and trauma. Our counsellor addressed these issues and helped her overcome the same using various techniques.
During one of her counselling sessions, Arya mentioned that she felt safe for the first time. She had been moving from one home to another for having necessities met but now at the safe home, she did not have to worry about her safety.
With the help of our counsellor, Arya was able to locate an extended family member who was willing to take care of her. She lived with them for some time and eventually was able to marry a man of her choice with the help of her extended family.
Today, Arya is safe, strong, confident and empowered with coping mechanisms taught by our counsellors which continue to help her.
*Name changed for protecting the identity of a young woman.
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