Safe Home for Survivors of Domestic Violence

by My Choices

Project Report | Oct 8, 2021
Safe Home - Protecting Survivor's Safety

By Manjulika Chellappan | Communications Officer

Psycho-Education at Safe Home

Having a safe space for reflection is one of the most valuable assurances a survivor of domestic abuse can have and that is exactly what our Safe Home offer to the survivors to arrive here. While residing in the Safe Home, the survivors have regular appointments with counsellors who help them to specify their needs and explore possible solutions through building emotional strength and a concrete plan of action. Survivors take part in art therapy, as well as vocational training that allows them to develop a skill once they depart the safe home.

Music Therapy at Safe Home

The goal of the session was to relax the survivors while encouraging them to express themselves emotionally.

The therapist started the session by simply sharing about her week and encouraged others to also share how their week was going. Everyone was reluctant to share as the session began but as a participant took the initiative and started sharing, the momentum grew. Week highlights included exam results, baby having a good day and general things like feeling safe at the safe home.

We did a short relaxation and breathing focus exercise to lead into the main activity. The therapist asked each member to divide their paper into 6 different blocks/squares. One by one the therapist played various songs. They had to listen to each song intently, and after each song, they drew whatever they felt or saw or imagined during that song. Songs ranged from heavy metal to classical and Bollywood, for them to express the different emotions evoked by each song.

The therapist then probed about their favourite and least favourite songs. Then asked them to look at their pictures, and without thinking about the music, just by looking at their pictures, choose their favourite one. Interestingly, they all chose a different picture than the picture evoked by their favourite song. The therapist then probed each participant individually to share some of their pictures. They shared wonderful memories and insights.

1st participant shared about the relief and acceptance she is experiencing at the safe home.
2nd participant shared about a journey of overcoming her failures.
3rd participant shared about the peacefulness of rain and
4th participant shared about a beautiful journey filled with fun within a bus, going on an adventure.

The therapist then guided them with relating each experience to their current life and situation. All the participants were very cooperative, creative and enjoyed the session. It was a wonderful time of stimulation, expression and relaxation.

Psycho-Education at Safe Home

At the Safe Home, victims of violence and abuse are provided with a safe space to help through their difficult journey. Our team helps the survivor by providing constant support through counselling sessions where they are taught about how domestic violence is an issue and its impact on their lives. We also engage the survivors in various arts and crafts activities where they are taught to make handmade soaps, wall hangings, doormats and much more.

We work with victims to explore various options to allow them to become financially independent and provide for themselves and their families. We support the survivors by working alongside her to explore her interests, talents and capabilities. Through the Safe Home, we aim to help women stand up on their feet and live a life with dignity and respect.

Neena’s fight for justice

Neena lives with her husband of 11 years and two daughters. She has been subjected to physical, emotional and verbal abuse by her husband throughout her marriage. During the pandemic, when her husband failed to provide for the family, things became difficult for everyone at home. They were unable to afford basic necessities. The money that they saved up was used by her husband to indulge in alcohol and was not given to Neena to help run the household. The abuse even escalated during this period as he forced her to be intimate with him. She started fearing for her life. Neena approached our PeaceMaker (community paralegal) Hemlatha who suggested that she approach our counsellor for assistance. Neena visited the centre once but failed to visit again as she did not have the money to pay for transportation to reach the centre and was unable to continue to keep the communication going through with the counsellor.

One day her children expressed concern over their safety by living with their father. Overcome by fear, Neena decided to leave her husband and found herself at our safe home. At the safe home, she was provided with counselling support. As she regained her confidence, she was encouraged to look for a job to start working. Neena wished to file an FIR against her husband for the pain that he put her through. Our team is supporting her through this journey to help her get the justice she deserves.

Today, Neena feels confident, safe and lives happily with her children. She is determined to fight for her rights and get the justice she rightly deserves.

Links:

Learn about Operation PeaceMaker of My Choices Foundation

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Jun 11, 2021
Lotus Safe Home - Ensuring safety for survivors

By Manjulika Chellappan | Communications Associate

Paper Dolls made by survivors

The COVID-19 pandemic has forced many women to be locked in with the perpetrators. With our Safe Home, we are providing a haven for survivors to protect themselves from violent situations. Since March 2021, we have assisted 10 women at our Safe Home. These women were referred to our home through our counsellors and local Police Stations. Our team helped these women with a variety of tasks - providing medical care, vocational training, filing of FIR, and assistance in looking for employment opportunities.

While at the Safe Home, the women engage in various activities like art and crafts, soap making and gardening. Some of the soaps made by the survivors were distributed among the survivors who were leaving the safe home, low-income families living around the safe home and Greater Hyderabad Municipal Corporation (GHMC).

Our Safe Home also engaged in COVID-19 relief activities. We ran a campaign to distribute masks to the employees of GHMC who work tirelessly to ensure we have a safe city. Our team also provided cooked meals to three families who were suffering from COVID-19. We ensured they had proper meals until they recovered from the disease.

Arya’s journey towards self-confidence

Arya* did not talk or engage in any of the activities organised at the Safe Home when she first arrived. She was extremely weak and got panic attacks.

Arya lost her mother and her father abandoned her to remarry. Abandoned at a young age, Arya was brought up by well-wishers and other care-takers. During one of her stays as a caretaker, she fell in love with a boy who reciprocated her feelings and promised marriage. When Arya would ask him about the marriage he would defer the question and eventually refused to marry him. Her fear of abandonment crept up when he refused to marry, feeling disheartened Arya filed a police report. The Police officers referred her to our Safe Home where Arya was safe.

At the Safe Home, Arya underwent psychological and medical tests to determine her health. Based on the test results, Arya was given medication and was also undergoing counselling with the help of our counsellor. Our counsellor helped Arya by encouraging her to express her feeling through art and music. It took some time before Arya would open up, but eventually, through the help of our counsellor and the extended team, she was finally able to make a breakthrough and started talking about her fears and trauma. Our counsellor addressed these issues and helped her overcome the same using various techniques.

During one of her counselling sessions, Arya mentioned that she felt safe for the first time. She had been moving from one home to another for having necessities met but now at the safe home, she did not have to worry about her safety.

With the help of our counsellor, Arya was able to locate an extended family member who was willing to take care of her. She lived with them for some time and eventually was able to marry a man of her choice with the help of her extended family.

Today, Arya is safe, strong, confident and empowered with coping mechanisms taught by our counsellors which continue to help her.

*Name changed for protecting the identity of a young woman.

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Feb 11, 2021
A haven for survivors of violence and abuse

By Manjulika Chellappan | Communications Associate

Lotus Safe Home - A haven for survivors of violence and abuse

Stuck in a violence-ridden home can be a paralyzing situation. With our Lotus Safe Home, we aim to provide a haven for women to protect themselves from their abusers. Through this support service, we are helping in transforming women who are victims of abuse to holistically healthy survivors of violence and abuse.

Since November 2019, we have assisted 60 women at the Safe Home. Each woman who sought assistance at the safe home approached in an extremely distressing situation. These women were being subjected to violence, abuse and exploitation and sought shelter to protect themselves from their abusers. Our team helped these women with a variety of tasks - providing medical care, vocational training, filing of FIR, and assistance in looking for employment opportunities.

Kavya’s journey to freedom

Kavya* grew up with her parents and two younger brothers. She was in 10th Grade when she left home to visit her grandparents and on her return, she found that her father had died. Kavya's mother informed her that her father had been murdered. Eventually, Kavya discovered that her mother was a sex worker and along with the brothel keeper, they had murdered her father. Since the death of her father, she was in constant fear for her life. Kavya’s mother forced her to join sex work even though Kavya wanted to pursue her studies. Due to the constant protests, Kavya was sent to her Aunt who lived in North India. There, Kavya was sold in marriage to a man who brought her to South India.

Kavya’s paternal family tried to rescue her by filing a case against her mother for the murder of her husband but to no avail. They were unable to rescue Kavya from the custody of her mother. Kavya was brought up in an extremely unsafe environment as her mother was a sex worker who would try to coerce Kavya into the same field. Even after her marriage, Kavya found no respite, she was constantly abused and was forced by her husband to start sex work.

One day, Kavya overheard her husband making plans of getting ‘rid’ of her since she refused to cooperate with sex work. Fearing for her life, she managed to escape from his home and moved to a hostel with the help of a friend. A missing complaint was filed, and the police eventually found Kavya. Since she refused to return to her husband, she was sent to our Safe Home by the Police.

At the Safe Home, she was provided with constant emotional and psychological support. Kavya suffered from severe trauma because her mother threatened her safety. The Safe Home provided a safe space for Kavya to express feelings and desires without any repercussions. Here, she developed her confidence and became determined to build a safe life for herself. During her stay, our counsellors provided free counselling services and conducted multiple activities with Kavya to gauge her state of mind. Through these sessions and all the legal rights education are given to her, Kavya’s confidence grew and she decided that she wished to leave her husband. Her husband was called for counselling and Kavya’s wishes were presented, he was surprised to see her confidence and tried to make several false allegations. Earlier Kavya would react but this time she knew that these tricks were played with her always and she didn’t fall for it. With great difficulty, he agreed for a mutual divorce.

Kavya and her husband are currently in the process of getting a divorce. The husband was counselled to stay away from Kavya and respect her wishes to avoid further complications in the divorce procedure.

Kavya also learnt to do some handicrafts. Looking at the products she created, she felt good about herself.

Today, Kavya is happy, free and confident. She is living with her friend who helped flee from her husband and is working hard to stand on her feet. While leaving the Safe Home she was once again briefed about her safety measures.

*Name changed to protect the identity

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