Help women victims of Domestic Violence in India

.As our counsellor Mrs Tanwar is on leave, we have not been able to get the May reports but for the months of March and April the figures are such:

Total calls – 80

Total cases – 47

Domestic Abuse – 7

Forced marriage – 1

Verbal harassment – 15

Sexual abuse - 1

Medical 8

Others 15

Expenditure for April and May

Kidney dialysis – 10,000 rupees

Medication for TB – 3351 rupees

Diabetes – 2642 rupees

Medical check-up – 150 rupees

Help for operation – 7000 rupees

Blood test – 500rs

Case Story 1

Lady called P. Age 39 years    Domestic abuse   Jodhpur

P’s husband was a hard drinker and abused her and beat her badly sometimes. He did not give P any money for the necessary needs of the family. She said that her husband also had an extra-marital affair with her elder sister and she came to know about their relationship. After that he started abusing her and stopped giving her household money.

She has 2 children, a daughter and a son. Her son doesn’t listen to her and supports his father because he gives him money to fulfil his desires. P’s parents also were not taking any notice of her story either. Nobody is talking to her and she was feeling lonely and depressed. She contacted Sambahli Trust to ask for suggestions. She didn’t want to go to the police station and didn’t want to harass her husband because she didn’t want to disturb her daughter’s studies. However due to lack of money she cannot help her daughter either.

P said she would like to earn some money to pay for the basic needs of the household. After listening to her story, Sambhali’s counsellor was able to advise her of the empowerment centres in Sambhali where they learn vocational skills in sewing and embroidery and learn to make Indian garments and accessories. After a 12 months course, she would have the skills to be able to sew at home (with a sewing machine donated by Sambhali) and start earning an income by sewing for her local community.  She has been enrolled in the Laadli Empowerment Centre in Jodhpur where she is receiving Sewing training and is now feeling better that she has a more hopeful future and the emotional support of the women in Sambhali.

 Case Story 2

Young woman aged 19 years    Sexual abuse   Jaipur

A young woman called H, phoned from Jaipur. She said that she came from Ahmedebad and is a student studying for a BTech in her 1^st year at college. She told of her mother divorcing her father when she was 8 years old and married another man in Ahmedebad. H said that she never had affection towards her step-father as she grew up. He started harassing her sexually and used to touch her private parts. She told her mother but she did not say anything to her new husband and asked H. to stay quiet. Afterwards she told everything about her step-father to her maternal family but they didn’t support her stating that her stepfather was financially well off compared to them.

 So H decided to leave Ahmedebad. After finishing school she filled in the enrolment form to go to college in Jaipur. But now her parents want her to return to Ahmedebad and continue her studies there. Of course she doesn’t want to return to that life where she was harassed every day. Her parents warned her that next year they will not give her any fees and hostel expenses, so that she would have to return to Ahmedebad. She was very worried about her studies and asked Sambhali for suggestions. Mrs Tanwar, the Trust’s counsellor, suggested she share her problem with the warden of the hostel who might give a discount on her fees. Secondly she gave her the number of a Woman’s HelpLine that was actually in Jaipur that could help her and give her some financial help to finish her studies. Thirdly she suggested that she could get a part-time job in Jaipur and also gave her the contact details of an NGO in Jaipur that she could apply for a study loan.

In this way Sambhali was providing her with some options and contact details in Jaipur which she could contact to help her continue her studies.

 Case Study 3

A young man called B.  24 years old     Verbal harassment and domestic abuse   Jaipur

B called from Jaipur and said that his parents were staying locally. His mother is very much in trouble as his father is ill-treating his mother, abusing her and sometimes beating her too. The father doesn’t listen to anyone including B’s mother. B. requested that Sambhali call his father on behalf of “a women’s HelpLine” and counsel him and warn him that if he continues to ill-treat his wife, action would be taken against him. B. asked not to disclose his name whilst calling his father. Our counsellor rang the father and requested that he stop abusing his wife. After 3 days, Sambhali called B to see if his father’s behaviour had changed and and said that some of it had changed (for the better).

 Case Study 4

A young woman called N.    21 years old    Gurgaon, (Haryana)    Relationship issues

N Called from Gurgaon and said that she was in a relationship with a boy and had been living together for the last 2 years. They both had decided to get married and the the families also agreed with their relationship, despite them being from different castes. N’s boyfriend said that he wanted to get his business settled before their marriage in Chandigarh, because that’s where he came from.  So N helped him financially because she wanted to get married as soon as possible. Her boyfriend, A, went to Chandigarh and soon afterwards wasn’t taking N’s calls. After 2 months, she tried to contact him via someone else. When she finally spoke to him, she said that she was pregnant and they would have to get married, but she was shocked to hear him say that he was not ready and advised her to terminate the pregnancy. She got depressed and called his mother who then let her know that he wanted to marry someone else from Chandigarh.  She was totally shattered and couldn’t decide whether she should marry him or move on in her life or teach him a lesson. She asked Sambhali for suggestions.

Mrs Tanwar, the counsellor suggested that she move on in her life; if she forcibly married him then she may or may not remain happy in their lives together. She advised that marriage is a relationship between 2 souls based wholly on truth. As he has broken her trust, she should not continue this relationship which is not based on truth. She should move forwards in her career and terminate her pregnancy. She should try and forget this incident in her life and move positively forwards to become an empowered woman. After the counselling, she felt very relaxed. Sambhali was able to help this young woman out of her depressed state and motivated her to move on with her life.