Girls w/disAbility & Moms Stop Cycle of Violence.

The relationship of mom and daughter can become one of the most important relationships you can develop. In Magical Shoes affirmation groups, that is the goal. Young girls and adolescents who have different disabilities have to rely on their mothers more than anyone else. The mothers need to receive support to develop this relationship, which has many twists and turns. The connections can be based on complete overprotection or on working for her daughter to find more independence and strength herself. Zenada is the mother of Martita, a young woman who has a severe mental disability and cannot talk, developing other ways to communicate with her mom.

One afternoon Zenada came to talk to me, saying she needed advice. Zenada is now a mother leader and has listened to mothers talk about overprotection. Finally, she said, “Sister, I need a job. I need some space away from my daughter, or I will drive her and myself crazy. “She started working in the evenings from 6 pm to 9 pm in our cafeteria. Later she changed to a part-time day job, sewing.

She is a great seamstress. The job gave her space and time to develop her skills. She became a Madrina or Godmother to other young people with a handicap, teaching them to sew and, in general, just looking out for them in the work environment. Zenada continues with the part-time work and has become an active member of Magical Shoes affirmation groups. For Zenada, it has expanded her influence and awareness of learning the stories of the other mothers in the group. It has also helped her in relating more to other young people with a disability. Each time when things get stressful, she tells me she has found strength in these relationships. “I was losing it by staying at home worrying about Marta’s future; now I can enjoy her for who she is, a beautiful young woman. The daughters of the mothers in Magical Shoes have different disabilities, but the one thing in common is that their mothers are vital in their lives. The idea of Magical Shoes is to walk in each other’s shoes, not just the mother-daughter but also in those other mothers’ shoes or those other daughters’ shoes or that other disability or situation. The mothers experienced tremendous growth by applying their newfound relationship skills and have grown in their self-awareness. It takes a lot of courage to recognize their own daughters’ handicaps and their need to overprotect them. The mothers in Magical Shoes shared that they did not realize that there were alternatives to overprotection; until they had the opportunities to listen to how other mothers accept their daughters’ disability. Zenada says she is now seeing her relationship with her daughter as best friends. It all has to do with receiving community support and the openness to listen to their daughters and one another.

Part of Magical Shoes is to help the mothers and daughters face problems together. The program has worked on trust, support, and understanding each other's ways to face situations. Unfortunately, Familias Especiales is experiencing a dangerous new wave of COVID, which has affected the Magic Shoes Program. As a result, the mothers and their daughters are staying at home. But how are they coping?
Promoters are keeping contact with them by cell phone and special programs, but not all have phones. The Promoters, masked and protected, took food packages directly into the neighborhoods to check on the families in the different programs, including Magical Shoes. They discovered several houses with COVID. They have reported the cases to the health department who sometimes sends nurses into homes to help. Most do not go to the hospital for emergency care because the hospitals are full. There is no formal testing for COVID through the hospital.
Staying at home is not easy as their houses are tiny, sometimes only one-room zinc houses, where everyone shares the same latrine outside. The rainy season has started in Matagalpa, but this is not always a welcome sign for people. Their houses get flooded with whatever rainfalls, and this does not help as people deal with COVID. Staying at home becomes more difficult for their children as they want to go out, but the rains and the COVID restrictions stop them. So far in Nicaragua, only people older than 60 years have received the vaccination, plus health workers, police, and military. There were enough vaccinations for the second shot. Still, the median age in Nicaragua is 26.5, and the population over 60 is only 4% of the people. Only a tenth of the elderly population got their shots so far. Because there is no sound record keeping, it is hard to gauge how people are being affected.
One looks for some hidden funeral expresses in the evening and other signs that there are COVID problems. However, in the neighborhoods where the mothers live, there is no outward sign that people have COVID. Still, if you visit, they will say someone in this house has COVID, and it is better that you don't come inside. In these houses, if one person has COVID soon, everyone else has it too. We are keeping tabs on everyone the best that we can to help them out in some way notifying the health department with hopes that they will come to visit. We will continue sending food baskets monthly. There are many factors that Special Families have to think through for reopening direct service to the children and young people with disabilities. They will do that also from the information that promoters, who are well protected, will share. We are hopeful that things will get better. There is no communication about what people are receiving to change the situation with so few vaccinations. Mothers are with their daughters in their homes and find ways to keep active and share with us if they have a phone. The best we can do is to let them know that they are not alone.