![Helping Girls Break Generational Trauma]()
Helping Girls Break Generational Trauma
The world needs healing. Teaching our girls to break generational trauma is the key to healing across generations.
Sisterhood Agenda excels by:
- Helping girls to love and honor themselves.
- Offering opportunities for education and training.
- Supporting self-knowledge and self-determination with holistic health.
- Empowering girls with trauma-informed awareness and resilience
- Building systems of sisterhood support (locally, nationally, globally)
These tips might be helpful for you or someone you know. Please feel free to share.
Historical Trauma
Generational trauma, also known as intergenerational trauma or family trauma, refers to a set of traumatic experiences often affected by violence, mental illness, oppression, and fears from the past that have created coping mechanisms, behaviors, and mannerisms in the present.
Trauma, particularly generational trauma, keeps you stuck in a loop.
While key to the family members’ survival at that time, sometimes these coping mechanisms persist past their historical context, where they become dysfunctional and unhealthy, preventing themselves, those around them, and future generations from thriving.
Honesty and Accuracy
Our Ancestors lived, loved, built, strategized, prayed, sacrificed, persevered, governed, ruled, and paved the way for the freedoms and lifestyles that we are afforded today. Our elevated Ancestors are to be revered and honored. However, not all of them are elevated, and there is a time when the rose-colored glasses must come off. When we are honest with ourselves, we realize that some of our family members are toxic and not good for our health and emotional well-being.
As the word implies, generational trauma impacts past, present, and future family members, even though the original trauma(s) happened a long time ago. Those impacted do not have to be biological members of the family, and family is more than blood. The impacts of trauma are passed down from generation to generation, sometimes for centuries, and maintain family instability.
Toxic feelings and behaviors are usually responses to feeling unsafe and unseen. These are the hurt people hurting people.
By understanding who your family members are, you are also increasing your awareness of who you are as a member of your family. Being as accurate as possible with names, spellings, dates, lineage, and connections, note who got along and who may have had conflicts, including you.
Your family history is something to be aware of, not something to be ashamed of.
Building a family tree is a great way to identify family members. Going as far back as you can gives you an appreciation of your bloodline and also reinforces your role as a survivor.
You will likely recognize that generational trauma exists in your family, like so many other families. Think about the different time periods and locations where your family members grew up.
The One
The unique circumstances of your older family members and ancestors, such as racism, sexism, abuse, war, poverty, may have affected how they grew up and how they treated each other. However, while it may provide context, these are not excuses for toxic behavior that causes trauma, especially when behaviors like abuse and neglect are directed toward children. It takes knowledge and courage to speak about something the family considers taboo.
By breaking the silence, you can shine a light on what was hidden to break the cycle, including holding those accountable for their actions.
If you have an interest in this topic, maybe you are The One. Maybe you are tasked with doing things differently, acknowledging the pain of the past while making a positive change in the present for the future.
If you acknowledge your generational trauma and vow to do something about it to make sure your family and future generations don’t suffer, you are The One the family has been waiting for.
Honor yourself as The One who is breaking the cycle of generational trauma. You are being brave and thinking about more than just yourself. The One is the family member who finally breaks the silence about childhood trauma, which opens a path toward establishing new family dynamics, norms, and healing possibilities.
Being The One isn’t always easy or even appreciated by other members of your family. You may even get bullied and resented for trying to change the family dynamic that most members of the family have grown accustomed to participating in, no matter how dysfunctional it is. Most family members will resist any kind of mirror that reflects poorly on their behavior and any person, especially from another member of the family, who they may feel is trying to change everyone. Self-defense and resistance to change are expected responses. This is why the next tip is so important.
Professional Guidance
Professionals who are specifically trained in trauma therapeutic care, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy and Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), can help you process your traumatic memories and learn new coping skills.
Importantly, these therapies are designed to help you reprogram your brain and help you move past your trauma, for example, your emotional responses to traumatic memories.
Your health professional may have prescription medications available to help with stress, anxiety, and depression symptoms that are common for people who experience generational trauma.
With professional assistance, you can gain insight and achieve emotional stability, to center your life, purpose, and identity: you are more than your trauma.
Counselors, therapists, support groups, teachers, and friends can also help you learn the things that maybe you did not fully come to understand as a result of childhood abuse or neglect. That includes learning to create safe spaces, set boundaries, meditate, practice self-care, stabilize your emotions, communicate effectively, use emotional intelligence, accept help, and form healthy relationship attachments.
When the time is right, family therapy may also be an option. For those family members who agree to participate, it can be helpful to have an objective, trained third party help family members communicate, show respect for each other, see each other’s point of view, and come together for collective interest, when desired and warranted.
Healing
Having support and guidance is essential for The One to break the silence, confront the generational trauma of the past and forge new family traditions because it is not easy. It takes a lot of strength and resilience to focus on personal healing after trauma, and look forward to more positive family relations in the future.
Professional guidance and support can help you move from victim to survivor to thriver as you heal from generational trauma.
Because trauma affects everyone differently, healing from generational trauma looks different for everyone, too. However, in most cases, healing involves The One speaking their truth, having their truth validated, holding those who caused trauma accountable, and changing behaviors to prevent future traumatic events.
Perhaps the biggest takeaway is not just your own personal healing, but the impact of healing across generations that can only happen when The One breaks her silence.
Thank you for helping us help Global Girls break the cycle of generational trauma.
Reprinted with permission
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