By Dr. Laila Risgallah Wahba | Project Leader
The divorce care group that ended a month ago was a huge success, yet it came with a lot of sorrow and heartbreak.
The group constituted ten kids between the ages of 6 to 12.
The father of two siblings had a mental condition, an inherited gene. The father never held or cuddled his two boys, yet the boys still wished the father would return.
The mother carries a hefty load of shame and guilt, but the boys add to her sense of shame.
During the group, I asked, "How many of you feel that you carry part of the blame that daddy left?"
They all raised their hands. But those two particular boys said they also blamed their mother—what a burden for her to carry!
How can she explain to her boys that their father suffers from a mental disease that makes him an unsafe father? So, she takes the blame and keeps quiet. Maybe when the boys grow up a bit, she can explain to them the actual situation.
In the Middle East, both divorce and mental disease are a stigma. Most people would keep them hidden. Many opt to live together in the same home, living their separate lives to maintain their appearance in society.
Working through their anger and learning positive ways to address their different feelings significantly impacted those two boys.
I am sorry, but I will not be able to share any photos of the training to keep the dignity of the families represented.
We are starting two new groups, this time in person. I pray the right kids will come.
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