By Louise | Managing Director
Avuxeni, minjhani? Ni pfukile, minjhani!
This month, we are honoured to share a powerful testimony from Donate, a resilient woman who sought refuge in our country. Despite the ongoing challenges of navigating current refugee policies, Donate has found a sense of belonging and growth through our Self-Help Group (SHG) and the Journey of Life training.
The impact on her family—and specifically her relationship with her children—has been nothing short of revolutionary.
Redirecting Leadership: Mikhongelo’s Story
Donate’s son, Mikhongelo, has historically been a "difficult" child. Many would see his behaviour as a challenge, but at KTD196, we have a different perspective. We believe that many children labelled as "naughty" are actually natural-born leaders who haven't yet been given the right responsibility or direction.
Through the Journey of Life framework, Donate has learned how to nurture Mikhongelo’s energy. Instead of conflict, there is now understanding. Instead of rebellion, there is a developing sense of purpose.
Why Your Support Matters
This is the heart of our work: saving futures. When you donate to KTD196, you aren't just funding a program; you are providing the tools for a mother to reconnect with her son and for a young boy to transition from "troublemaker" to "trailblazer.
Donate’s story is a testament to the change you make possible. Thank you for being the driving force behind these restored relationships and brightened futures.
Blessings to you
Louise
Donate is a 40-year-old woman from Mulati Village. She has seven children - three boys and four girls. Born in Mozambique, she moved to South Africa in 2003 seeking asylum. The situation in Mozambique was dire, with food shortages and restrictions on women's education plus an ongoing civil war that had lasted over 25yrs but still continues in pockets 35yrs after the official end of the war.
Among her children, Donate has a 14-year-old son named Mikhongelo, who was quite problematic. He is in grade 6 at the local primary school and is known for being naughty. He is often late for school, to the point that even the school principal has noticed. Despite Donate’s attempts to discipline him by hitting and shouting, nothing seemed to change.
"I felt so sad that I had this child who was always misbehaving and doing nothing right in my eyes," she explained.
Mikhongelo refused to do his homework, bullied other children, and sometimes stole from them. "The more I heard about his behaviour, the angrier I became, and I would punish him, but things only got worse," she recalled.
As a member of the Ntshuxekani Self Help Group, Donate learned from Nkhensani (a KTD196 Community Facilitator) about the scout’s program and the Journey of Life training that would be offered. Although sceptical about both programs, she decided to attend the training. The experience was life-changing for her.
On the first day, the facilitator discussed problems children face, including being beaten and yelled at; Donate felt as if the discussion was directed at her and her son which made her very sad and extremely angry as she thought the women were gossiping about her to the facilitators. The session made her uncomfortable, and she decided not to return.
However, when she awoke the next morning, her friend encouraged her to continue. Amazingly, Donate listened to her friend. The training began with difficulties, but by the second day, she learned how to address the problems. She decided to implement the methods suggested during the training: she would listen more, pay attention to her child, and refrain from shouting. Most importantly, she decided she would no longer hit him.
After the second day of training, when she arrived home, she asked Mikhongelo how his day was and he kept quiet and just looked at her. Instead of yelling at him for not responding, she patiently asked him again, and he replied that his day was fine. Later, during dinner, she politely asked him, "May you please take my plate and put it in the wash basin?" Mikhongelo was shocked that his mother had asked him to do something without shouting—he was shocked by her kindness.
The Journey of Life training transformed her approach as a parent.
She now realizes she has not hit her children in 4 months. Although her second youngest son, aged 9, had started wetting the bed again, she chose to be gentle with him, giving him her attention rather than punishing him for it. Remarkably, he has not wet the bed since.
Mikhongelo shared that his mother used to be very loud and would hit him almost every day. He felt that nothing he did was ever good enough, and he was constantly in trouble. Now, he appreciates that she speaks softly and doesn’t yell like before.
"My mom now listens to my ideas. If I ask for something and she cannot provide it, she explains why, which makes me sad, but I appreciate that she doesn’t scream at me," he said. When he grows up, Mikhongelo wants to become a policeman to help people and hopes to build a big house for his mom and buy her a car.
Donate and Mikhongelo
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By Louise | Managing Director
By Louise | Managing Director
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