By Diana Chepkosgei | Program Manager and Lead Counselor
The year started out with great hopes for better healing experiences amidst a global pandemic. We had adapted to the new way of life and our core objectives in Perinatal and Maternal Mental Health were still standing strong, firmed up by the dynamics of the season.
Through the past six months of the year, we have been able to offer psycho-social support to 200 families and individuals. Families hailing from different parts of the country, continent and the other parts of the world.
Below is a breakdown of monthly sessions offered:
Most of the sessions conducted addressed presenting cases of Grief, Complicated Grief, Depression, Anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome and Psychological Trauma. COVID-19 has still been a significant trigger as most families are battling with grief, health complications and anxiety. It’s encouraging to see our community reaching out for support and we still keep our hopes high for a better mentally healthy community and nation at large.
Apart from Psycho-social support, we have been facilitating our social media engagement with the aim of offering psycho-educative content, support and advocacy. Our Facebook support groups are growing at a very high rate. We are glad to have a safe space for bereaved parents to support each other from wherever they are especially at such a time with COVID-19 limitations.
Through our advocacy efforts in the space of Maternal and Perinatal Mental Health, we were privileged to partner with International Stillbirth Alliance, Partnership of Maternal, Newborn and Child Health and London School of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene, in a project aimed to empower families who have experienced stillbirths in advocacy work to address the current challenges associated with preventable and unpreventable stillbirths, Mental health of the families and Bereavement support.
Advocacy has also entailed periodic media interviews raising awareness on Maternal Mental Health and Perinatal Grief Management.
Below are stories of two of our constituents supported during the year.
Ess*
On 4th of August 2020, I was 8 months pregnant with my second born. My first born is alive and well he was born on September 20th 2017. I remember that day, I woke up with painful uterus, I tried pain killers but nothing helped. We went with my husband for an ultrasound and that’s when I was told that I had a placenta bleed and there was no fetal heart rate. My life came to a standstill. I am a doctor, I had been so busy and stressed during the pregnancy guess I didn’t notice the signs of pre-eclampsia, I was so puffy, headaches and all my pressures were ranging in the normal so that’s why I was alerted. Well the painful process of induction was started after I was admitted in Mombasa Hospital. I delivered my baby girl angel sleeping at 9pm, she was one kg, the most beautiful baby has ever seen.
I was so confused tried to crack this mystery as a doctor I had all the questions and answers. My husband was very supportive but I guess he was fighting his own battle too. When I felt I was not connecting with my husband and no one understood me. My relatives said I should get another baby. Someone told me to stop crying over the dead that I should let her be and rest in peace. I blamed myself a lot, I was depressed. I had seen Still A Mum on Facebook and decided to reach out. The counselling experience was very supportive and encouraging. I felt like a breath of fresh air. It was just what I needed. People understood me and didn’t judge me. The ladies in the support group shared my journey.
Through the WhatsApp support group, I gained support. The sessions helped me find myself in the darkness. The counselors are still my friends and so approachable. To me Still A Mum is home. I am well now; I still grieve but I grieve while thanking God for all. God has been so good to me. The low moments come and go. I think of my baby still. But I am okay, because I have a place to go when it gets bad. Home is Still A Mum.
Rehema*
I conceived my third baby in June 2020 and the discovery was the best news to my husband, our 2 sons and I. The pregnancy progressed well. On Thursday 27th November 2020, I got home after work feeling very exhausted and sickly. All I wanted to take some rest and from the moment I got into my room, hell broke loose. I raptured and by the time I got to hospital, nothing could be done to preserve my baby.
From the moment my doctor interpreted the ultrasound results, I was a ball of emotions. The erratic emotions persisted. I developed bitterness towards some people whom I felt were not authentic. I was highly irritable and impatient and would yell at my sons every so often. There were days I would not to leave my room.
A friend had mentioned to me about Still A Mum in one of her visits after I was discharged from hospital. At first, I didn't think therapy would be necessary for me. However, all these changes in my behavior made me feel like I was a totally different person all together. I am generally a happy-go-lucky kind of person but smiling became such a task for me and I avoided people.
My first visit to Still A Mum was unplanned. I was in between work meetings and before I could head for my second meeting, I took a detour and headed straight to Still a Mum, I was losing myself and wanted the happy people's Rehema back. I had an unplanned meeting with Diana who briefed me on the requirements and we scheduled our first session.
All I remember about that first therapy session was a lot of crying. I think I cried throughout the session, by the time I left Diana's office my eyes were swollen. The second and third session I did most of the talking with a few tears in between. Diana was very easy to talk to and she made me feel normal once again. The therapy put my motions into perspective. I was able to define clearly what I had gone through and what I was still going through. I became more alert about myself which in turn helped me to be more deliberate on how I conducted myself.
I have come a long way indeed. My family and close friends can attest to this. I am less bitter with people; I show up at functions and just last weekend I was able to host a party for my first son. Still A Mum helped me to get myself back. Thank you very much, be blessed.
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