Survivors of violence that support victims

Testimonies of mothers, fathers and caregivers of girls, boys and adolescents victims of sexual violence.

“Attending the support group was a rewarding experience for me. At the beginning I felt ashamed to face what happened in my family in front of other people, while the workshop was going on I calmed down my mind and heart, in the end I felt that there are people who went through similar times and got ahead, that it is not easy and they are succeeding . It inspired me to continue my own processes and that of my family, to seek the reconstruction of our lives. To understand that what I am doing is right, that I start doing justifiable for myself and my family.”

"For me, attending the support group was very enriching. I had the opportunity to learn about common problems and share mine, which allowed me to understand how much progress I had made in my process, for which I am deeply grateful to Fundación Idea Dignidad. To get here I went through two psychologists. Meeting such professional people in this Foundation has allowed me to free myself from the stereotypes to which I lived tied for more than three decades, contradicting my feminist principles. Today I am a very happy person, authentic and consistent with my principles, I feel that I have freed myself from a heavy burden that did not let me walk. Thank you very much for your professionalism and dedication and above all for your commitment to women who have suffered violence.".

The support group for mothers, fathers and caregivers of children and adolescents who are victims of sexual violence was created so that mothers, fathers and caregivers of children and adolescents who have been victims of sexual violence can have a collective space for listening and containment to strengthen tools and recover emotional well-being.

A total of 21 people attended the process and it consisted of 4 sessions:

• First session: A psychosocial diagnosis was made to identify the topics of interest to the group of mothers, fathers and caregivers. The importance of working on guilt and justice was identified.

• Second session “Guilt”: The objective was to address the guilt that falls on mothers, fathers and caregivers, due to social mandates when it is considered that "they did not take good care of their sons and daughters". Rape culture worked.

• Third session “Justice”: The objective was to identify the various forms of justice not limited to the legal in order to recognize themselves as active agents of justice.

• Fourth session “Self-care”: The objective was to address the importance of care for caregivers and learn self-care tools. This session was open to the general public.

The death of María Belén at the hands of her partner (a State agent), that of a girl only 8 months old whom her father, also a policeman, ordered to be killed in April in order not to pay her alimony or the aggression by another agent against a woman on the Vinces boardwalk a few days ago before the passive gaze of people, they are just the tip of the iceberg of violence against women, a serious problem that requires bold and comprehensive responses for which neither the State nor society are prepared.

The debate on whether the State is responsible for these deaths is on the table and for this reason, Idea Dignidad feels the need to provide information that helps people understand that this is a human rights and public health problem.

We focus on three aspects: femicide from the legal point of view, from the psychosocial point of view and on the role of the media.

What do we need to understand?

• Gender-based violence is not a minor issue but the basis of almost all violence that exists.
• Gender violence is rejected in speeches, but naturalized in everyday life and those who question it are branded as exaggerated or destabilizing. On the other hand, the aggressors are not singled out or questioned.
• All gender-based violence begins with subtle, almost imperceptible violence that is naturalized in jokes, in double meaning attitudes or comments, in making women sexual objects, etc.
• This violence is increasing until it becomes so serious that it is very difficult to reverse its consequences.
• When violence is exercised by persons invested with State power (police, public servants, teachers, medical personnel, etc.), there is a double responsibility: criminal and that of the State, because its main function is to protect rights, not violate them.
• Only the most serious cases come to light and almost never the focus is on questioning the aggressor and his behaviour.
• The laws that punish gender violence are ineffective if they are not accompanied by cultural changes.
• These changes are the responsibility of both the State and society as a whole: we need education for equality in all spaces: families, schools, universities, communities, institutions, companies...
• The empowerment of girls and women is insufficient if men are not taught new masculinities from childhood free from the abuse of power.
• There are no public policies in Ecuador that address gender violence and consider these and all the factors involved. It is the responsibility of the State to create and sustain them and of society to demand them and monitor their compliance.

Links:

• video on networks

“When I arrived here in Ecuador, I felt so scared, with so many fears, helplessness (…) I have no words to thank so much love, so much kindness, that I have received from you. Thank you very much for all the beautiful footprints you leave in my heart and in the hearts of my little ones. Thank you, thank you and thank you very much.”   Glenda.

Since 2020, the Idea Dignidad Foundation has provided specialized legal and therapeutic care in the province of Esmeraldas, carrying out more than 125 legal advice, presenting 55 legal actions and accompanying 120 people and directly reaching 270 beneficiaries. We share the symbolic closing activity with our users in this province.

On June 9, we shared a playful, symbolic and emotional space with users of our services. We have the participation of children and adolescents, as well as Ecuadorian, Colombian and Venezuelan women.

In one of the activities, our present and the experiences of each one in the fight for the right to a life free of violence were addressed.

We share our feelings about what Fundación Idea Dignidad has meant to all of us.

Links:

• closing event

Con motivo del 14 de febrero, Día de los Enamorados, Idea Dignidad desarrolló la Campaña: ¿Cómo me di cuenta que no es amor?

De esta forma, nuestros usuarios nos cuentan sus experiencias sobre cómo lograron identificar que los actos de violencia en su contra no pudieron ser una representación de amor y de esta manera poner sobre la mesa el debate, sobre las nociones de amor que aprendimos. desde la niñez.

Desde nuestra experiencia en prevención y protección contra la violencia de género, hemos podido evidenciar que las creencias inconscientes sobre el amor, sobre la familia, sobre la pareja y la heterosexualidad son algunos de los factores en los que se basan muchas de las prácticas. de control del cuerpo y la vida de mujeres y niñas. Por lo tanto, cuestionar estas creencias es fundamental.

En esta campaña, las mujeres comparten sus experiencias y reflexiones para que entre todas planifiquemos otras formas de amar, más respetuosas y dignas. Las mujeres que pueden ver y escuchar en los videos reciben el apoyo terapéutico y el asesoramiento legal que brindan nuestros servicios.

También puedes compartir tus experiencias con nosotros. ¿Cómo te diste cuenta de que no era amor?

https://fb.watch/byookVZ7xm/

https://fb.watch/bylIE-IDOo/

Links:

• I realized that it was not love? 1
• I realized that it was not love? 2

Este proyecto busca dar sustentabilidad a nuestras tres oficinas en Ecuador, en las ciudades de Quito, Esmeraldas y Manabí. Estas oficinas son lugares seguros donde ofrecemos atención especializada e integral a las mujeres víctimas de cualquier tipo de violencia. Idea Dignidad ha implementado un enfoque holístico, integral y centrado en las víctimas de los casos de violencia de género. La atención combina la experiencia psicosocial y legal con un enfoque participativo y de derechos humanos que coloca a la víctima en el centro de su proceso. Nuestro servicio y herramientas facilitan su empoderamiento y desarrollo.

Este proyecto garantiza el apoyo a las mujeres que no cuentan con los recursos para pagar la asesoría legal y el apoyo psicológico y han sido víctimas de violencia. Además, ofrecemos educación en derechos humanos y empoderamiento legal para estas mujeres.

Ellos mismos hablan de cómo se han sentido con nuestros acompañamientos. Lea sus testimonios:

"Ahora soy más fuerte y puedo contarlo". Lucy

"Todavía me sentía muy culpable, pensé," yo lo causé. "Ahora no sé". Daniela

"Me siento diferente, antes estaba enojado, triste. Ahora soy mejor, más amoroso, más libre". Carmen

"Hoy me siento muy a gusto, muy querido, muy apoyado, no me sentí juzgado". Laura

"Comprendí que no puedo ser responsable de todo lo que sucede a mi alrededor, pero puedo ser responsable de mí mismo y de cómo me siento". Diana.