Proud to Be a Girl: Empowering Girls in Cambodia

“I don’t remember much, but I remember when he forced his cap into my mouth to muffle my screams. It tasted of dust. And then, the rest is just a painful haze.”

After morning school, Srey Mom’s daily task was to cut grass in the fields for the water buffalo. She would always go with her younger brother and his playmate. And then one afternoon, the neighbor appeared from behind the trees and grabbed her arm. Scared, the two little boys ran to get help. But it was too late.

Srey Mom was only 10 years old when she was brutally raped. “I don’t remember much, but I remember when he forced his cap into my mouth to muffle my screams. It tasted of dust. And then, the rest is just a painful haze.” Said Srey Mom.

Her parents didn’t believe her. They chose to turn a blind eye because they feared public shame. They didn’t want the village to look down on the family because of a shameful act. Thankfully, Srey Mom’s grandmother believed her and took her to see a doctor, who encouraged them to take the case to the local village chief.

The local village chief did not want to take any action so they went to the local police quarters who referred her case to Hagar. For safety reasons, Srey Mom was taken to Phnom Penh, a few provinces away from her hometown.

Her physical wounds took six months to heal but her inner wounds were deep. She felt broken. Back in her hometown, mouth to mouth had spread gossip and everyone knew what had happened to her. She felt dirty and shamed, and thought she would forever be considered a worthless girl.

“Spending time with my counselor at Hagar was what made me whole again. I felt safe and felt like she could help me focus on the future and hope.

Srey Mom’s journey was a long winding road of healing, self- acceptance, countless sessions with her counselor and hours spent expressing her pain through music and the arts. But it is a beautiful path of restoration of brokenness. Srey Mom has created many beautiful art pieces reflecting an array of emotions. “Music and dance at the CLC helped me externalize my feelings. I didn’t know music could be a tool to heal”

Srey Mom is now 21 years old and studies accounting at university. She has big dreams. Dreams of becoming a rock star, of dancing for the king. Realistically, her goal is to earn a good salary working as an accountant in the city. She will be able to send money back to her parents in the province.

“I want to have three children” Srey Mom says laughing. “Two girls- twins preferably- and one little boy. And there is something really important I will teach them from day one. How to be good, how to respect your neighbor but most importantly, how to not speak to strangers or open the door to anyone they don’t know. I wasn’t taught this, and was very naïve growing up. I want to help educate children in the Province one day on basic personal safety”.

Srey Mom is HOPE, she embodies the full journey of recovery at Hagar.

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In Cambodia, sexual abuse is likely to occur multiple times in childhood: more than 7 in 10 females and nearly 9 in 10 males who experienced sexual abuse experienced multiple incidents prior to age 18. Of those who first had sexual intercourse before age 18, one in four females and 1 in 11 males reported this intercourse as unwanted, meaning they were forced or coerced into sex. 

More than 6% of females and 5% of males aged 13 to 17 in Cambodia reported at least one experience of childhood sexual abuse, according to the Ministry of Women’s Affairs, UNICEF Cambodia, 2014

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• Help Cambodian girls become Proud to Be A Girl!