Proud to Be a Girl: Empowering Girls in Cambodia

In Cambodia sometimes it's hard to be a girl.  Dangerous to be a girl.  Scary to be a girl.  Thank you for your help in making these girls become brave. 

Malis* knows this to be true.  Malis was born in Thailand and when she was just 7 days old, her mother brought her across the border to Cambodia.  She dropped Malis off to live with her grandmother and then went back across the border to live with Malis' father and brother.  Her grandmother loved her and took care of her.

But it can be dangerous to be a girl.  When Malis was just 3 years old, her mother reappeared one day.  Quietly, while her grandmother was out in the back yard planting trees, she grabbed Malis and sold her to a man.  Then she disappeared across the border again with the money.  It took Malis' grandmother three days to find her.  Then she went to the police station and had them all arrested.  

Life was good, until... someone seized Malis' grandmother's land.  They had to move on to a neighbor's property and Malis had to find work so they could pay rent to the neighbor.  The only work was in the capital city of Phnom Penh.  The job didn't pay well, but it was just enough.  Then a friend told Malis about a good job outside the city.  Hoping to be able to contribute more to her loving grandmother, Malis agreed to go. As soon as they arrived, Malis' friend disappeared.  Malis was forced to work in the house and in the family market stall and was never left alone.  She was trapped and was never allowed to visit her grandmother.  Also she didn't receive any money.

It can be scary to be a girl.  One day her boss approached her in the market stall and raped her.  This happend on many occasions.  Malis found out later that she wasn't the only one to whom this happened.  Eventually Malis became pregnant by this man.  One day her boss found out she was pregnant and accused her for theivery and gossip so he could beat her and try to kill the child.  That didn't work.

The boss' wife found out Malis was pregnant and, to avoid gossip around her husband, fed Malis sleeping pills and arranged to have men rape Malis while she slept.  Someone later said 3 men rapd her so that her boss wouldn't be identified as the father.  

After trying to run away multiple times, Malis was finally allowed to leave.  A woman who sole medicine in the village convinced Malis' boss to allow her to bring Malis to her house to live.  She agreed she wouldn't let Malis run away.  But after Malis' boss ordered men to have Malis killed, the woman took pity on her and let her run away.

Malis called a hotline.  They called women's refugee NGO hotlines.  They called Hagar. 

Now Malis is in Hagar's care.  We are showing her that she is already brave.  She has been brave and resilent since she was born.  She is strong and coureagous.  She's beginning to dream.  

Because of you, Malis gave birth to a healthy baby boy.  She dreams of becoming a seamstress.  She is working to bring her former boss to justice.  She dreams of the day she can be reunited with her grandmother.  

*names have been changed to protect the identity of those in the story

Somphors is a woman in Hagar Cambodia's care.  She is a shining example of the empowerment of women and girls in Cambodia.  Thank you for helping empower her to be proud to be a girl!

Somphors' Story:

Somphors’ life hasn’t been easy. When her parents divorced, her father remarried. With his new family established, her father decided to sell Somphors to a farming family in Kampong Cham province to work as their buffalo herder. But shortly after that, her new owners sent her to work as a housekeeper for a family in Phnom Penh. She was made to work very hard. This new family mistreated her violently.

But one day, a woman working in a health center in Phnom Penh rescued her and Somphors was referred to Hagar for safe shelter.

In 2012, Somphors was transitioned into semi-independent living. In addition to her studying – grade 11- she worked as a waitress part time in order to earn some money to complement the support she received from Hagar. It was then that she started a short-lived relationship with her co-worker. But a few months later, she discovered she was pregnant and dropped out of school. Her Hagar case manager along with other Hagar staff explored options. The decision was taken to refer Somphors to Mother’s Heart, a Phnom Penh based organization providing support and services for pregnant women in Somphors’ situation.

Somphors is now 24 years old and she now lives independently with her 2 years old daughter. And this is greatly thanks to close support provided by her Mother’s Heart and Hagar case managers. A better suited job was identified for her to support her and daughter and their living costs. She is now working in one of Phnom Penh’s bakery shops earning a good salary.

Somphors loves her job because she sees in it the opportunity to grow in future. She is happy to share about her experiences to encourage other clients to work harder in life. Future dreams are now possible because of her new job.

When thinking back on her childhood Somphors remembers her father taking her to live with a family that they knew. But at the time she didn’t realise she was being sold by her father. Life with that family was very hard, and she was forced to work long hours under the beating sun and monsoon rains in the fields with the buffaloes, from dusk to dawn. 

“I never imagined I could escape from that place where it was nothing but suffering, to a place as good as where I am currently living.” She added that she would thank Hagar for all their support, how they never gave up despite challenges. If she hadn’t joined Hagar’s program, she doesn’t thing she would be here today and wouldn’t have understood the value of her life.