Youth Victim-Offender Mediation

Stephen was walking home one afternoon when a car full of teenagers pulled up next to him and offered him a ride. Never one to miss the opportunity for a good time, Stephen hopped in the car and found himself crammed in the back seat next to strangers. Stephen realized that while he knew the driver of the vehicle and one of the guys in the car, he didn’t know anyone else, and he deduced that the car was stolen. After a few blocks, Stephen noticed a car was following them. The driver saw the car as well and decided to try to race the car to get away. The vehicle was an unmarked police car and things escalated quickly. The car full of teenagers was in a chase with police vehicles and a helicopter got involved. Stephen realized things were serious when the vehicle was cornered, so he jumped out of the car and ran the first chance he got. Police officers chased him and, while attempting to jump a fence, Stephen cut his leg open badly. He was arrested and eventually his case was referred for family mediation at the Center for Conflict Resolution.

The day of the mediation, Stephen’s mom, Cheryl, was in no mood to talk to anybody. She had forgotten about the scheduled appointment and when CCR staff called to remind her she reluctantly appeared on the Zoom call. Stephen had not forgotten, though, and was ready to participate in the conversation. The mediator started the conversation by asking both Cheryl and Stephen about what occurred and gave them a chance to tell their stories to the mediator and to one another.

Chery talked about how frustrating it had been to get a call from the police that Stephen had been arrested. When she arrived to pick him up from the precinct, she was told that Stephen had been taken to the hospital. No one was able to give her any information about how seriously he was injured (or even how he had been injured) and her frustration turned to terror as she rushed to the nearby hospital to check on her son. Once she arrived at the hospital, she was told he had been discharged and sent to a different police facility for older teen offenders. It took hours for Cheryl to find Stephen and it had been a stressful and frightening experience for her. The mediator helped Cheryl talk about her experience, employing a trauma-informed approach and worked with Cheryl to express how serious the consequences for his behavior had been.

Stephen did not seem very moved by his mother’s story, but when she started to talk about the impact his behavior would have on his younger siblings, Stephen had more to say. Stephen recognized that getting arrested and being in danger was going to have serious consequences for his younger siblings. Stephen was proud of his role as big brother and the mediator spent time with Stephen talking about the influence he has on his siblings.

During the conversation, Cheryl became more and more engaged in the process. The mediator’s techniques of asking questions and facilitating the dialogue had created an environment where mother and son were able to communicate in a focused manner. Cheryl told the mediator it had been helpful and productive to talk about what was happening. By the end of the conversation, Stephen had agreed that he would not get into stolen cars and the two were working out ways to rebuild trust.

Dion came to mediation at CCR with his father, Michael, after he was arrested for aggravated assault. He threatened a classmate with violence after being called names on social media. The mother of his classmate called the police and made a complaint about the threats. Dion was arrested and taken to the police station. The case was referred for mediation with CCR. The classmate declined to participate in the mediation and so a family mediation was held for Dion and his father. Dion wanted to put the whole incident behind him and Michael wanted to open up lines of communication with his son. 

Through a guided conversation, the mediator was able to find common ground between Dion and Michael, as well as help them recognize ways to improve their relationship. 

Dion shared that he spends most of his free time rapping. He discussed the fact that his Dad worked long hours and, as a result, he spent more time with his aunt who cared for him. The mediator asked Dion’s second favorite thing to do and he said he was really good at basketball. When asked how he got so good he replied that his Dad taught him. 

After explaining that Dion’s Mom died during COVID, Michael said he felt basketball was the most important thing for Dion to concentrate on. Michael felt Dion’s trouble at school was caused by the loss of his mom. The mediator asked Dion if he agreed but he did not. The conversation gave Michael an opportunity to hear new information about his son’s experience losing his mother and its impact on his life. 

With the mediator’s support Michael and Dion were able to come up with a plan for moving forward from the incident in a safe, neutral space, and to develop solutions that worked for them. Michael agreed to contact the local church to inquire into a grievance support group and family counseling. Dion agreed to participate. This discussion allowed Dion to express how his father taught him how to play basketball but that now he works very long hours. The mediator inquired into the work schedule and discovered that Sundays and Saturday afternoons are free, if needed. Father and son agreed to every other Sunday which included either lunch and chat or basketball andlunch. They both agreed to use the time together on Sundays to communicate better and prevent incidents from happening again in the future. Michael expressed his appreciation and both seemed happy to have a plan to move forward together.