Preserve Strong Communities with Housing Mediation

Raul and Marina are neighbors who have lived next door to each other for a little over 2 years. When Raul and his family first moved in, he and Marina got along well and would say “hello” or exchange other pleasantries whenever they would see each other. The trouble started when Marion began to smell caustic fumes that she strongly believed were coming from Raul’s home and garage, despite Raul’s insistence that they were not.

On a few occasions, Marina, feeling so convinced that Raul and his family were causing the unpleasant odor, called the police to investigate. But the police did not find anything suspicious or out of the ordinary. Raul even invited Marina to come into his garage and his home to investigate herself. Their relationship quickly devolved into accusations and avoiding each other in their shared driveway.

It was clear to the mediator that the neighbors’ relationship was fraught with distrust, but they both also expressed a deep interest in being good neighbors and in repairing their relationship. This opened the door for the mediator to ask each party to talk about their experience living next door to each other and the impact that this situation has had on each of them. Marina explained that her father had recently passed away and she was dealing with the grief of that loss and feeling alone and vulnerable in her own home. She is elderly and feels that people can easily manipulate and take advantage of her. Raul expressed his sympathies for her loss and even talked about how he’d heard wonderful things about Marina’s father from other neighbors. He explained that he understands Marina is living alone and that he and his family want to be the kind of neighbors she can rely on if she ever needed something. Raul mentioned that they had leftover cake from a recent family celebration and how he had wished he could have brought some over to share with Marina, but he was worried she would just throw it away.

After hearing how each other felt and what they needed in order to feel safe with each other, the parties were able to start thinking about options toward an agreement. It was important to Marina to know where the smell was coming from and it was important to Raul to prove it was not coming from his home. Marina suggested hiring an inspector to come investigate the odor and Raul suggested that he use the same inspector to investigate his home. Marina wanted to pick the inspector herself; someone that she had researched and felt she could trust. Raul was happy to let Marina take the lead and this opened a pathway to building more trust between the two parties.

One final item they wanted to add to their agreement was that they would do their best in the future to settle their own disputes together as cordial neighbors before involving a third party. And they each agreed that the building blocks to restoring their trust would begin with each of them acknowledging and saying “hello” to each other in their driveways. And hopefully one day, sitting down together and sharing a piece of cake.