Sport Slovakia Project #16291

Support grieving children and families in Slovakia

by Nadacia Pontis/Pontis Foundation

Support grieving children and families in Slovakia

Project Report | Aug 1, 2017
Weekend meeting for grieving families - June 2017

By Monika Vlhova | Project Coordinator

Group photo of the participants

It’s been already for the third time that the little village of Podkylava, in the North-West Slovakia was hosting the meeting of families, who had lost a close person and who have been attending our Grief center.

It all started on Friday the 16 June 2017. Thirteen families and us, the team of Plamienok, have met in the beautiful surrounding of Slovak nature. Some of the families have met for the first time.

Let’s start from the beginning:

It is not always easy to make that step, and send an application to participate. These words from Mrs. Zuzana are saying for all:

„I feel confused, we are at the unknown place, only two familiar faces to me here and head full of questions: is this really going to be okay? Never-ending questions...“

In Plamienok, we really try hard to prepare a weekend that will take the families away from all their hurts. They meet each other, spend time together. They share their memories of their beloved deceased ones. We go on long walks together, we swim, and we exercise. The families exchange their faiths, troubles but also energy and inspiration for the future. On Saturday evening we dance. This time we had special guest – a music band called Roc’hann that brought the Brittany’s melodies and rhythms.

All the activities are very important but what counts the most is the experience of closeness, experience of support and understanding. Last but not least we all got an opportunity to share together moments full of joy and laugh as well as all the painful moments full of tears and despair after losing our granny, daddy, sis or bro. And this is exactly what makes us all being connected here - on the meeting of grieving families – through the pain we share, we can find the support in each other and strong comprehension. We can speak openly and let it all go out.

On Sunday, when Zuzana and her little son Misko were leaving, she said:

„Misko and I we are going back home as winners. We have spent joyful and cheerful time, we have relaxed... It would be great to have this kind of meeting even every two months. Seeing my little son Misko with smile on his face is the biggest victory for me. Of course, I can’t forget myself, because people from Plamienok don’t forget about me either and I had really good time. I have regained the faith here and I hope it’ll last.“ Zuzana and Misko

For supporting us and giving us an opportunity to organize such weekend, we would like to thank to all our supporters. Honestly, we wouldn’t be able to do it without you.

Through the words of our game therapist Lucia Kralovicova:

„The meeting of grieving families is like a meeting of different planets in our galaxy. Every family is a planet with its own history, inhabitants and also memories of those, who left the planet sooner than wanted, and perhaps now they are somewhere where the stardust is. Families are creating, drawing, writing – expressing what is special on their planet, what connects them. Some of them stick wings on their planet, some write names of important people, some write messages. There is a little boy who write a message to his deceased mum, roll the paper down and tie it to his „planet“ so that nobody could see it, cause his message is a secret. All the „planets“ then go to be tied up on the ceiling. All of them, one next to another, to see that in the galaxy, they are not alone. The same as the grieving families – they are connected through the same painful experience of losing their beloved one. „I am looking on that colorful galaxy we have created here and feel like an alien. But now I know that I am not alone in this.“

Activities to lighten up the mood

And a happy farewell :)

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May 1, 2017
A journey to a land, where we miss someone

By Timea Nemethova | Project Coordinator

In the theater

Plamienok n.o. cares about incurably diseased children, so they can spend their last moments in the family circle till the end. Besides that, it offers psychological help after the loss of a close person – when a parent loses a child, or when a child loses a partent or a sibling. In the framework of this help, we offer the children therapeutic group sessions. This year, we founded a child theatrical group Plamienok, where we utilized drama-therapeutic procedures and rehearsed an act about the loss: A journey to a land, where we miss someone. Experience the moments right before the premiere with the eyes of Lucia Kralovicová.

The auditorium is slowly filling with spectators. The excitement rises. Six pairs of children eyes stares through the gaps in the curtain. “Look, there is my mom!” “And I have both grandmas here, gosh, that’s stress”. I also have a strange feeling in my stomach, but I push it away and encourage the children “just remember, if you make a mistake, carry on as if nothing has happened. Only you know how it should be, not the spectators.” The last moments before the premiere are like from a movie: “spit-spit-spit” and a kick in the back for luck (as it is done for premieres). Then quickly, the actors move silently to their spots behind the curtains. I walk to the lightning dashboard and change myself to a lightning manager, just to occupy my jittery mind and heart.

Six children put their head over the parapet at March 16^th 2017, after sixteen meetings. They are not just playing their roles, they play their own stories. The stories of loss, which is brought by death. Losses of someone important – mother, brother. Sometimes, it is hard to even think about the loss, not to mention speaking about it, but theater? I was also in doubts, but I believed in the children, with who we walked a long way on our therapeutic meetings. And now I say: “Theater? Yes.” We said to ourselves, that we are strong enough. Strong enough to show, through the theater, a piece of the experience of loosing. And, to discover, that after the gloomy and rainy days full of tears, anger and the question “why?” a sun may shine again. That the stars, even when we do not see them, are in heaven all the time. That we do not want the adults to lie to the children. That our memories are only ours. That we now walk the life more better. That we are not alone. When the smallest child on the stage, Lenka, looks at the stars and silently asks: “Can my mom be in my heart and at the same time a star in the sky? I feel her close” – I know, that the piece was successful.

Bows Applause

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Feb 1, 2017
How to support those who have lost a loved one?

By Timea Nemethova | Project Coordinator

January session

How to support those who are losing or have lost a loved one?

Losing a loved one... memories come up of my grandmother dying. What it was like and what it is like now. I am thinking of people who are dealing with a loss right now. The idea that I can learn what is helpful to people in such a difficult situation seems to me precious and worthwhile. It is a certain taboo in our society; I am a bit uneasy about how to approach someone who has lost a loved one. And how to start a conversation with a small child? I want to learn more about this.

I am evaluating my life. I have some free time. It is somewhat of a routine. I realize that I am missing the feeling of being useful. I have been thinking for a while now about who could benefit from my help. Yes, maybe children in Grief Counseling Centre PLAMIENOK n.o. I feel my heart saying that I should go for it. So I signed up for the Bereavement course. Then I got invited for an interview. I was excited when I was accepted. Yes, this course is for me as well.

The first January session is done. I like that the course is made up of workshops. I am not interested in theory. I want to try out the techniques, experience them firsthand, learn more about myself and understand others more. Stop the time and delve more into myself.

How to describe simply what I am gaining. By saying that I finally opened my eyes. I saw myself face to face with my nature, I felt the losses in my life, I experienced relief, I got to know the power of silence, I found the courage to talk about my feelings, I gained experience and closeness thanks to sharing in group. I grew as a person. Opportunities, which I did not see or did not even have, opened to me. One of them is that later, as a volunteer, I will be able to help children and families coming to Grief Counseling Center PLAMIENOK n.o.

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