By Louise | Managing Director
Avuxeni! Minjane? Umfekile Minjani!
Someone said to me the other day, “Caring is not Leadership!”
Why did this hit me so hard?
When you are the founder and leader of an organization often you are faced with very difficult decisions which not only have impact on the organization but also on the lives of the people you work with. Caring is not enough!
I care very much, I care very deeply, enough to bring me from Australia to South Africa, to make a difference in people's lives. I care to the point that I have sacrificed my comfort, my friends, my family, my security, my finances, my easy-going life, to come here and serve the people.
Why am I saying all this? It’s not for accolades or recognition. The bottom line is I CARE!
But caring is NOT leadership. Sometimes tough decisions need to be made despite my relationships and friendships. Sometimes, for the sake of the organization, decisions need to be made that benefit the whole and not individuals.
Leadership is being able to guide a group of people or an organization to achieve its goals. Leadership is about making the tough decisions regardless as to relationships.
Why am I sharing all of this? I will be honest with you, I am in a difficult position, I need to restructure KTD196 in order for the organization to survive. That will have severe impact and implications on people who are friends as well as colleagues.
You probably don’t want to know about this side of the work we do; you probably just want all the warm fuzzy stories of impact in children and women’s lives. I don’t blame you. There is enough trauma and pain out there. However, I want you to know who I am and what is happening at all levels of KTD196 because you are financially and relationally invested in us, in the work we do.
It hit me very hard because I am experiencing the "Founder’s Paradox": the painful intersection where my deep personal mission meets the cold reality of organizational survival.
When I sacrificed my security and comfort for a cause, the organization isn't just a job—it’s an extension of my identity. When I have to restructure, it feels like I am hurting a part of myself or betraying the very people I came to serve.
Its is almost like a conflict of identities. I moved across the world because I am a Humanitarian. However, to keep my mission alive, I must now act as a Strategist.
The "hit" I feel is the collision of these two roles. I am not losing my empathy; I am experiencing the weight of stewardship.
Leadership is lonely, especially in a restructure. I am the only one holding the full picture of the organization's fragility. While my colleagues see a lost job or a changed role, I see the survival of the entire vision. This weight is heavy because I can’t fully share it with the people affected without causing more panic.
In social impact work, we often equate "doing good" with "being kind." When a leader has to make a decision that causes temporary pain (like a layoff or restructure), it can feel like a moral failure. I feel like I am breaking a silent promise to protect my team, even though the decision is actually made to protect the mission.
As I mentioned you might not want to hear this side of things, but sharing all this is actually an act of integrity:
I am human just like you! Thank you for reading this ramble, I just needed to articulate what I was feeling, the grief I am experiencing, but also the resolution to do what is right by all concerned.
Thank you for being you, for your support,
Blessings
Louise
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