Year of mentor activities for 50 vulnerable youth

Over the weekend I had the privilege of transitioning my graduate, Kevin, to college at Oregon State University.

I know that not all of you know Kevin, but so many of you do that I wanted to share with everyone. Most of you met him this summer working at Café Friends, or saw him in the Wieden+Kennedy video or speaking at Friend Raiser. He has definitely been a ‘community kid’ of Friends of the Children, since everybody had a hand in helping him out and his big heart left an impression on everyone he spent time with.

Again, helping Kevin was definitely a group effort. I couldn’t have done the work I did without the help of many others:

• His caseworker at DHS was the most proactive and helpful caseworker that I have ever worked with.
• His attorney with Juvenile Rights Project (now called Youth, Rights, and Justice), was invaluable.
• His therapist at the Morrison Center helped him process his emotions.
• His etiquette coach at Urban Bridges helped teach him confidence, poise, and social skills.
• His Independent Living Program caseworker helped secure funding and other necessities for his transition to college.
• His school counselor at De La Salle North Catholic High School was integral to Kevin’s success.
• And virtually everyone at Friends of the Children helped in countless ways.

All of the above people comprised the team that helped Kevin get out of the terrible situation he was in, and helped him flourish since.

Thursday, I helped Kevin move out of his foster parents’ house and we drove down to Eugene together. We went to a concert and visited my parents. Friday, we hiked up Spencer’s Butte and had a long talk about our four years together. I gave him some presents and took pictures to commemorate the occasion. I introduced him to my oldest friend who is the Information Technologies person for the City of Eugene and they got to talk computers. Sunday we drove to Corvallis and moved him into his dorm at Oregon State University.

It was wonderful to have a chapter end so well and another start so perfectly.

Of course I wondered if I had told him enough nuggets of wisdom over the years.

Did I teach him everything I meant to? Is he ready? Does he have all the tools that he needs? Did we talk enough about finances? Nutrition? Critical thinking and problem solving? Girls??

I just have to know that it’s happening regardless and he is ready. It’s the same challenge all of us face when we transition a child to the next mentor, or graduate them from the program. It never seems like we had enough time.

After a few final photos and a few hugs I wished him luck and left. It was quite surreal to say goodbye and walk out of his dormitory, knowing that I would not be seeing him next week, or the week after. But I watched him introducing himself to people and making friends, like the outgoing Kevin that we all know and love.

Of course he is going to adapt like he always does. He is going to be just fine. He isn’t a little kid anymore, but has grown into a fine young man. Indeed it is about the journey more than the destination.

He called me while I was driving away and asked if I wanted to come back and play foosball. Even though I did want to, I told him we would play next time and that he should go to the dorm ice-breaker that was about to start.

We’ve texted each other every day since.

His adventure is only beginning. I can’t wait to see what else he achieves.

 - Darren, Friend

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