#IWantToBe: Empowering Women for Peace in Nigeria

Every day we are getting closer to our goal of $7,000. With your continued support we have raised $6,393 so far - that equals 91% of the total. We are incredibly grateful for every donation we receive. Thank you so much from all of us here at Generations For Peace!

Today we share a story of change, told by a husband of one of the women taking part in the Empowerment For Peace programme:

I never used to believe that a woman should be allowed to go out of the house: what would they do outside the house? Their place is at home, taking care of the children and house - they have no business being outside. No other woman does it, so mine shouldn’t either. And, I don’t have to let my wife go out - she doesn’t contribute economically, so what would she do out with other women? She can go out to buy food when I give her my money, but otherwise there’s no need for her to do anything outside. I didn’t see the problem with that – after all, our neighbours were doing the same with their wives.

One day, my wife told me that she had heard of Generations For Peace, a local organisation that was inviting women to take part in different activities. The activities were happening close to our house, and she said she would like to go there with other women from the neighbourhood, to see what those activities were about. I was surprised; she never had an idea like this before. She wanted to learn something, she said. What would she learn? What for? I wasn’t comfortable with the idea at all, but she insisted for quite a while that in the end I had to say yes.

She came back from that visit and told me that there were 10 volunteers teaching more than 30 women from different neighbourhoods some peace skills, and other skills like making soap, making jewellery, or how to do catering. “What for?” I asked. What would she do with a soap or a necklace and who would buy it from her? And what can she do about peace – we already have enough problems with other religions and we don’t need women starting to talk of peace. Since when is it a woman’s job to get involved in the community and to speak with others?

For several days, she just spoke of what she saw at Generations For Peace and how she wanted to go there again. We had several fights. Still, she didn’t want to give up. So in the end, I said yes, just to see what she would come back home with. I thought she’ll go there one or two times, and then that would be enough – she’ll be back home, doing what she always did since we got married.

But she kept going. Not for one, but for seven, eight sessions. As for the house - everything was done as it should be; she kept everything in order, but she would still find time to go to that programme because she liked it. I thought, it’s fine for a while, but I’ll have to put a stop to it. Not all of the women from the neighbourhood were doing it, and I didn’t want her to think she can do what she wants. Or anybody else to think that. That my wife can do what she wants.

Then one day, I had to leave the house to go to a market on another side of town. I had to buy something urgently but I had no money. I was wondering if there were any other men in the neighbourhood who would lend me money for the bus fare and for things I needed to buy. It’s not an easy thing to ask for when everyone is barely making ends meet. Seeing me worried, my wife asked me what was wrong, so I explained. She turned, and then brought me the money I needed. I asked her where she got the money from. “I made some money out of the perfume I produced,” she said. “Perfume? Which perfume?” “I learnt how to produce and sell perfume. I learnt that at the Generations For Peace programme,” she said. “I’ve also learnt a lot about peace, and now I’m learning some other new skills,” she replied calmly. I didn’t say too much. I just took the money and went to the market.

Upon return from the market, she had already gone to another Generations For Peace session. I was looking at the produce I bought at the market, with her money, for the first time in our lives. I sat quietly at home, thinking how it could be good if Generations For Peace had a programme for our two daughters, then they would also be able to learn new skills, to make their lives better. Much better than their parents. I should do something about it, I thought. I should speak with my wife about it, when she returns home.