Refuge for abused women in Malaysia

Domestic violence can happen to anyone, not just those who are legally married. Joyce, a mother of one had a partner who had been abusive towards her even before they had a child. She never entered a formal marriage with her partner but were living under the same roof. Their differences resulted in heated arguments which eventually led to emotional and psychological abuse and the occasional physical abuse. Slaps, shoving her against the walls, manhandling her roughly, and threats were issued but Joyce, like many middle class working women out there didn’t see this serious enough to be reported to the police as these were abuses that cannot be seen by the naked eye. She hoped that with the birth of their son, the situation would improve. 

Instead, Joyce found herself thrown out of the house when her child was 1 years old after a heated argument. Her partner would deny her access to her child and after hours of sitting outside the apartment doors hearing her son cry for milk, the partner would let her in. They eventually separated and agreed on a custody arrangement but to her partner’s convenience where he would have access to their son from 6pm to 10 pm every single night and that she would have to continue staying in a property of his choice. Without agreeing to the partner’s terms, she couldn’t find a way out so she relented, despite the unreasonable hours which would later impend her mobility as well as her son’s wellbeing. 

Joyce started making police reports everytime he hurt her, or threatened her at her workplace, or show up unannounced to grab their son away. Although her son had not been physically abuse, he was subjected to these aggressive behaviors and was constantly in fear of more outbursts between Joyce and her partner. This went on for 3 years. Her 3 year old who was potty trained started wetting his bed and waking up screaming with nightmares. WAO assisted Joyce and her son with therapy in hope that he could address these feelings he was experiencing. These events made it hard for Joyce to keep a stable job and she started doing more freelance work instead to ensure she could still be there to provide for her son and keep to the terms of the custody arrangements. Verbal abuses and Psychological abuses escalated as time went by. Joyce’s final straw was when he refused to give her son back to her one night with the excuse that the child has slept, and refused to let her into his home. That night, she slept outside the window of the room her son was sleeping in, till dawn. That was when Joyce knew she had to do something about it. 

Despite her various police reports on his abuse and threats, the police were unable to avail protection to her because her case did not fall under the purview of the Domestic Violence Act, as they were not married legally or through a religious ceremony. Physical abuses were also deemed as not serious enough as the kind of abuse she encountered did not leave physical marks. Every day was a day Joyce would be uncertained of, she found a job near to her son’s daycare to ensure he didn’t come in the middle of the day and take her child away as he had done many times before. 

WAO provided Face to face consultations for Joyce before she was ready to leave her abusive situation and helped her plan her exit. When she was finally ready one day, she took her son, and sought refuge at WAO’s shelter. Since then the social workers have been fervently looking for protection options for Joyce and her son, including the assistance of finding her affordable legal representation to vary the custody order to ensure better parental rights. In addition to that WAO advocated for Joyce’s case at higher levels in the police departments and finally managed to get her case classified under the domestic violence act (DVA) although it is unconventional. As such, Joyce is now in the process of getting an interim protection order for her son and her, which would avail them protection against the partner and limiting the partner from hurting or harassing them, which would be an offence by law. Joyce has also begun sessions of counseling and her son is showing positive signs of emotional recovery through the therapy he had been attending. With all the above, WAO is also linking Joyce up with companies which could hire her based on her expertise of consultancy work to ensure she is empowered and able to resume to her daily life as soon as possible, and gain financial independence to support herself and her son. The process is arduous, but Joyce is finally able to feel safe and start her life again, although from scratch without worrying she won’t be able to do anything if her partner appears to be stalking and harassing her again. 

There are many cases such as Joyce’s scenario where women who are not eligible for protection orders due to their marital status suffers in silence. Where they are in limbo and there is no way to move forward. Stalking and no-sexual harassments are not a crime in Malaysia and these cases often continues for prolonged period of time as perpetrators are aware they they would face no consequences by law. Psychological and emotional abuse is a silent but serious issue. WAO perseveres to push for such cases to be given the appropriate legal redress even though it is against the grain and works towards empowering women and children to be self-sustainable again. WAO is effortlessly working towards engaging governmental agencies to put an anti-stalking law in action and in place, to ensure women need not worry about what their legal status entitles them to, but instead what protection measures they can utilize to keep themselves safe.