Refuge for abused women in Malaysia

Speaking up takes a lot of courage. A recent project by WAO gives a voice to domestic violence survivors so they can share their stories with you. Unsilenced, these women are taking a bold stand against violence, intimidation and discrimination. You might find their stories horrific and disturbing but they are here to remind you. Many survivors do not talk about their abuse, at least not publicly, because of the social stigma surrounding them. However, Krishna, Lydia* and the family of Nur Hidayah featured in the recent video “Survivors Speak Up”  relived their pain so that we are aware of the issues of domestic violence and how the legal and justice system can be better.

Today, we hope that you can spare 20 minutes of your time and watch the video. We have heard many stories of abuse because of our work with survivors but we want you to hear them out too.

To view, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvoK75WzHHY

At the mere age of 16, Krishna married her ex-husband after he raped her. Throughout their marriage, she was physically harmed, humiliated and threatened. She was scarred on her check and her left thumb, severed. Krishna made more than 20 police reports but there was no action taken. Her ex-husband was not charged. Krishna is still living in fear that he will come after her and her children.

Lydia* and her children lived with hostility and abuse. They were kicked, punched and stepped on. Fortunately, Lydia sought help from a WAO social worker and was informed about the Interim Protection Order (IPO). She obtained an IPO promptly. Lydia has now filed for divorce and found a new job.

In October 2013, 28 year old Nur Hidayah A Ghani was beaten to death by her husband. A domestic violence fatality. She was in the process of filing for divorce as she could no longer endure the abuse. She and her family also made police reports. One report after another, no action was taken to protect her. Sadly, Nur Hidayah didn’t make it. One more life lost because we are missing the red flags.

*Name has been changed to protect the identity of survivor

Links:

• Survivors Speak Up - Domestic Violence in Malaysia

She was crying and sobbing on the phone. She said she has nowhere to go. “I don’t know what to do. He has been hitting me. I am really scared” She was then told that she could come by if it’s possible for her to do so. She showed up, tears in her eyes. She kept turning back to see if anyone was following her. She was quivering probably because of the windy weather outside or maybe she was feeling fearful. She was given a cup of warm water. She sat on the sofa in the counseling room. She looks a bit calmer. “Is it safe here?” She was reassured that it is safe and a social worker will see her very soon. Tears welled up in her eyes again. She said okay and her hands slowly wrapped the cup. The warmth was giving her some comfort. A social worker appeared at the doorway minutes later. They exchanged greetings. She looked hopeful for a moment. The door closed. She began to talk. The social worker began to listen.

Stories that we hear from domestic violence survivors are inspiring. They make you stronger. They make you believe that if you have the willpower, you can achieve anything you want. We are and will always be fueled by their courage and determination.

In 2012, WAO gave face to face counseling to 127 women. 65% of them were affected by domestic violence. The remaining were single and pregnant women, rape survivors and women facing sexual harassment and family or relationship problems. 71.9% of the 127 women experienced psychological abuse.

Does it ever occur to us that one of these women could be someone whom you know? A close friend or even a family member. She can’t confide in you because she is ashamed of her situation. She keeps to herself and hopes the abuse will stop. Most of the time, it doesn’t. Most of the time, it’s someone close to her who’s tearing her life apart.

Our work in providing shelter to women and their children and law reform begins with you. You are helping us to help these abused women. For the past 31 years, it was you who kept us going. You called us about a friend who you suspect are being abused, you volunteered at our events, you showed up with groceries, you taught the women how to bake, you joined us at public rallies, you made donations to ensure that we have enough funds to go on.

Funds are imperative because your donation goes to the running of the shelters and the employment of a full time team who only has one aim which is to eliminate violence against women. One step at a time. One giant step was in 1985, when WAO together with 5 other organisations under the Joint Action Group for Gender Equality (JAG) called for the enactment of a Domestic Violence Act in Malaysia. It was finally implemented in 1996 but this law still requires improvement and WAO did not give up advocating for effective implementation of the domestic violence laws. Although we have laws, it cannot be fully assured that all victims are getting immediate protection. This year another big step, the Penal Code was amended to recognise domestic violence after much lobbying by JAG since 2000.

Want to know more about what we do? Check out our page on GlobalGiving.You can support us there too. We are aiming to raise the remaining USD 15,264 (equivalent to MYR 48,547.15) to meet our total funding goal of USD 35,000 (MYR 11,1317.50).

Please help us close the gap! We appreciate your contribution in any amount.

Thank you!