By Naumenko Tatyana | Project Leader
This is a story of a usual family. A family with the feelings and worries we can see around every day. It is real happiness, when a family that brings up a child with special needs can find strength to keep on living!
“Recently (and once again!) I heard the phrase “this is your punishment from God”. Several years ago these words addressed to me used to make me very disappointed. I used to cry because I thought myself that an autistic child is my punishment. Now, when my handsome son is 11, I would like to say what I think about it.
First of all: a child cannot be a punishment! By all means.
Yes, I used to cry a lot when my son was diagnosed and registered as a disabled person. Yes, I had to quit my job. Yes, it’s not easy. There are quite a lot of these “yes” statements. But I would like to speak about the other aspect of this. I would like to say, how Danya has changed us and our lives.
When you feel guilty and fear for your future, you just accept your child as he is. And when it happened, it was as if we took off the masks and got cleared from hard-heatedness, pride, cruelty and indifference. We became more caring and kinder. We learnt to accept people as they are. The world is diverse and everyone has equal rights to live!
My son taught me how to love. You can say – all parents love their children. And it is natural. Recall you feelings when your child is ill, for instance, he has got influenza or just caught cold, he has a fever and so on. While he is ill you forget all his mischief and disappointments you might have about him. The feeling of love becomes so acute that you are ready to do everything possible just for him to recover sooner. Then your child recovers and you keep on having your usual life. As for us, mothers of children with special needs, we do not have a usual life… And it is happiness – to be able to love this much.
Our children are great at teaching us to be patient and never lose hope. And how glad we can be, seeing even tiny achievements of theirs.
My life has changed completely since my son was born. I have become engaged in public activities, I have got more friends and acquaintances and like-minding people; I have got a clear goal in my life. How can it be a punishment? It is more like a reward!
I would like to address it to parents of children with special needs: never get desperate and always know that nothing is your guilt. Life goes on. You have a wonderful child who is going to change your life and teach you a lot. You are the most reliable parents, because you are the ones entrusted by God to bring up a special child. It means that God trusts you and believes in you!
And finally – God is love, and love never punishes you but makes you a better person!”
Veronika, a mother of an autistic child
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