Proud to Be a Girl: Empowering Girls in Cambodia

“My first husband was a bad man. He left me six years ago with two children for which I have full custody. Living as a single mother in Cambodia is not easy and I ran into financial difficulties, so I decided to work in a beer garden as a waitress. My salary was around $70 a month. The job wasn’t good and I quit. After that, I went to work as a waitress in a restaurant in a northwestern town of Battambang Province. I was working under very tough conditions and the work was very hard there too. I was given little time to sleep and very little food. That job was too hard on my body and I was struggling.

It was at that time that I heard of another opportunity with a decent salary. That “opportunity” was to be taking to China as a bride in exchange for monthly monetary transactions to support my two children in Cambodia. The person who told me about the “job” was my friend’s aunty. I thought I could trust this person so I resigned from my job as a waitress and signed up as a candidate.

I stayed in the recruitment agency for two weeks before I was referred to my new family. When I first met my new Chinese husband, he and his family were very welcoming and warm towards me. I found out that I had been sold to him for US$14,000 and assumed some of that money was being sent to my children. In fact, no money was ever sent. On the first day we met, my husband and his family took me to the town hall to sign a marriage certificate. We had a wedding ceremony and dressed up for it in the traditional way. People were friendly and welcomed me, my new family took me shopping. They bought me a mobile phone for me to connect with my family. 

For the first few weeks, I was able to call my family back home in Cambodia. I didn’t have too many things to do in my new house. My husband didn’t expect me to do heavy labor. I just washed clothes and did a few other house chores but in the early days, I wasn’t treated badly. Not in the beginning. But after a few weeks, my new husband became weary and started controlling my calls.

I lived in a house that was surrounded by very high gates. After a few weeks, my husband locked me in and I couldn’t go freely. I became his slave.

But after two months, I was locked inside the great gates and never allowed outside. All calls were being monitored. If my husband found out I had called someone without asking, he would beat me. I was forbidden to call friends and family. Any calls I made I had to do in secret then delete any trace. I became their slave. I wasn’t even given good food and remained locked indoors.

My husband didn’t really care about my health. He demanded sexual intercourse every day, whether I felt sick or not. He wanted a child and even when I became pregnant, he still wanted to have sexual intercourse with me. I did not consent because it was painful, so he raped me. I became pregnant after four months living in China. My husband sexually abused me daily and two months into the pregnancy, I had a miscarriage. I felt so weak and ill.

After the baby died, my husband took me to a pharmacy. I explained to the pharmacist that I needed more care than just medicine and asked to go to a local hospital but this didn’t help. I got infections. I was raped every day and it was so painful.

During my first induction phase at the agency, I had been given the phone number of the Cambodian Embassy when I was at the agency, so I tried to appeal to the Khmer Ambassador in China requesting for help. However the person who answered the phone told me that he wasn’t responsible to assist me or get me out of this situation. I told them that I would die if I wasn’t rescued as soon as possible, but his response was that if I did die, it would be my own responsibility not his or anyone else’s. “Why did you still come? Did you not know about the dangers? We are not going to help.”

I tried calling many times but eventually they blocked my phone number. I know this because when I tried calling from another number I was able to get through.

I felt hopeless. I tried to commit suicide twice by swallowing medicine but this wasn’t effective.

I tried to jump over the gate and managed, but fell and hurt my back badly. I was found on the floor by a neighbor who called my husband. I was given local traditional medicine but this didn’t enough to help me correct my back injury.

I felt a lot of pain, emotionally and physically. After my fall, I was in really bad pain. My back needed surgery. My father in law had no mercy. He would mishandle me and shake me even though I was in pain. I was feeling alone and in pain and had no one to talk to. This was six months into me living in china.

I had no idea where I was, neither the name of the town nor the province. Fortunately, I was able to take photos in secret of my husband and parents in law’s ID card numbers and with the help of a fellow Cambodian woman I had stayed in touch with, we identified the exact location.

When I found out the address of the family, I called the anti- trafficking police in Cambodia who believed me. They requested that one of my family members file a complaint on my behalf. So my brother filed a complaint and this was sent to the Cambodian Embassy in China.

Two months after filing the complaint, in July 2016, I was successfully rescued from the family by the Cambodian Embassy. My husband’s family was called by the local police to explain why they were mistreating me. Ten Chinese policemen raided the house and took me to the police station.

During the rescue, I was taken to the police station and was questioned. I met with the Khmer ambassador and IOM staff. I requested to the police to take me to the capital Beijing where I was underwent surgery.

It took me around 3 weeks to come back to Cambodia. First, I was operated on while I was in Beijing. (1^st August) I was in the capital Phnom Penh for four days to check my health before I was reintegrated into my family.

My health is not completely recovered. I still constantly feel exhausted. I can’t work with hard heavy labour. My back is still in a lot of pain. But, Hagar’s case manager spends a lot of time with me to work out what I could do in the future. I am currently receiving financial support from Hagar for housing and food. I want to join Hagar’s Economic Empowerment project so am waiting to enter the Caritas Centre near Siem Reap. My dream is to become a hairdresser, save money and support my family living close to them.

I would like to say thank Hagar for always supporting through my journey, when I was ill, with small daily things such as food and housing. Most importantly, I would like to thank Hagar for encouraging me and giving me good advice on becoming the strong and independent woman that I am today. And am also very thankful for the help of IOM, IGM staff in supporting me as well.

Hagar provided me with food and medical care. And when I felt so down and negative, I received counselling that changed my mind-set and made me focus on the future. Hagar staff helped and supported me in making my own decisions and choosing a skill set. Hagar has restored my broken life to become the fresh and happy life I now live.

I have a good relationship with all Hagar staff. And I feel confident and trust in what Hagar suggests and guides me with. 

I would suggest to all women in Cambodia be fully informed of all the ins and outs of a job, before taking the decision to travel abroad to unknown places. In my opinion, working in Cambodia is the best solution.”