Lucas and a friend were caught drawing in fresh cement in front of a veteran’s memorial at their local Park District, as a consequence, Lucas was arrested and his case was referred to mediation at the Center for Conflict Resolution. Since the representative of the Park District was unable to attend the mediation, Lucas and his mom ended up having a family mediation.
Lucas’s mom Susana, started the mediation by stating that what Lucas did was not a terrible thing but she did feel that Lucas didn’t take his arrest seriously. She mentioned that when she picked Lucas up from the Police station, Lucas was handcuffed and sitting on a bench smiling and talking to the officers like nothing had happened. Susana was furious that Lucas was so casual about being arrested. For Susana, seeing her son handcuffed was very upsetting. She told Lucas that she was very disappointed in him.
Lucas responded by apologizing to his mom, he confessed that being in handcuffs for hours had been an unpleasant experience. He also shared that he had been very afraid that the police would put him in a cell with dangerous people, and that he was relieved when they kept him on a bench. He told his mom that the smiling that she saw was really relief that he had not been hurt or locked up. Lucas also told her how embarrassed and ashamed he was when he returned home that evening and his grandmother wouldn’t speak to him.
Throughout the mediation Susana stated repeatedly that Lucas is a good kid and that they have a close relationship. Susana is a single mother of five boys and Lucas is the oldest and the favorite. Susana also disclosed in the mediation, that her mom lives with them and that she was worried about the effect of all this on her mother. The mediator created a space where Lucas and Susana were able to have a candid conversation and Susana shared that her brother that was in a gang and murdered when he was fourteen years old, when this happened Susana was only eleven years old. For Susana, her brother’s murder had ruined her life and it was her constant fear that Lucas might follow in his footsteps.
The mediation gave Lucas an opportunity to explain his experience and to hear his mom’s concerns and her need to protect him and his siblings. Both had a chance to express their points of view and left the mediation satisfied with the process and feeling more connected with each other.