Youth Victim-Offender Mediation

Charlie and his mother participated in a family mediation with CCR after Charlie was detained for opening a package for another apartment’s resident. Early into the mediation, Charlie explained that he was working on getting his GED and planned to eventually go to college. Charlie works full time and is focused on achieving his goals. He shared that he felt quite embarrassed and ashamed to have to do the mediation, and everything that has come from his arrest. He did not know why he opened the package, but he knew it was wrong.

Charlie felt ashamed that his mother found out about what he had done. It also hurt him to know that she had to miss work because of his actions. During the private meeting with the mediator, Charlie’s mother shared that she was concerned about his wellbeing and mental health. She was worried about how this mistake might affect his future. Additionally, she was worried about Charlie not taking his medication or going to therapy for his ADHD diagnosis. Charlie’s mom believed that this was the most pressing issue because she observed that Charlie has a tendency to make mistakes when he becomes anxious and unfocused.

The two main agenda items for the mediation included the incident itself and prioritizing the help Charlie needed to manage his ADHD. It was evident throughout the session that the family had an established, healthy line of open communication. While Charlie’s mother did express that what he did was wrong, she made her unconditional love apparent. She made a direct ask from her son - she wanted Charlie to promise that he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. Charlie promised to not let his mom down again and asked for forgiveness.

The mediation allowed both Charlie and his mother to express their feelings. They both told each other how much they love each other, and that they did not want to see the other one suffer. They also talked about how they could each support each other. Charlie felt certain that he could achieve his goal of obtaining his GED with his parents’ support.

In terms of managing his ADHD, Charlie was able to identify what he needed from his mother moving forward. Specifically, he told his mother that when he’s craving space because he feels overwhelmed, he will tell her. He shared that putting his headphones on and listening to music really helps him to calm down when anxiety starts to set in. Charlie also explained that he was frustrated with his doctor not making him feel heard. The two discussed how they were going to talk to the doctor together to see if they can change his medication because it makes him not feel like himself.

The mediator emphasized with the family about how difficult it can be to have these kinds of conversations, and how remarkable it was to witness them choose to engage in meaningful dialogue as a family. The mother explained how happy she felt with CCR because their needs were accommodated (by scheduling the mediation during the morning, securing a Spanish-speaking mediator, and sending regular reminders). She felt that the mediation process demonstrated care for her son’s future and reminded her that he’s not viewed as a criminal.