Youth Victim-Offender Mediation

Eduardo, a senior in high school, was referred to mediation with Center for Conflict Resolution after being involved in a fight with another student.

To begin the mediation session, the mediator asked Eduardo to share his perspective of what occurred. Eduardo explained that he had been driving home with friends when he encountered Gabriel, a classmate and long-time neighbor. Eduardo explained that Gabriel had given him the middle finger and cursed at him. Both teens exchanged words, which escalated to the point that Eduardo got out of his car and hit Gabriel.

According to Eduardo, he did not have any physical injuries because Gabriel did not fight back or defend himself. From what Eduardo later learned, Gabriel went home and his mother immediately took him to the hospital and filed a police report. The next day the police arrested Eduardo at school. He was taken to the police station and detained for approximately six hours.

Estefanía, Eduardo's mother, was called by the police to notify her that her son had been detained for assault. When she received the news, she became quite scared because the word “assault” in her country signifies a major criminal charge. Estefanía immediately called Fernando, Eduardo's father. Both parents picked up their son and eventually accompanied him to juvenile court. Eduardo’s parents learned about the required mediation through Eduardo’s probation officer, who explained to them that mediation was an opportunity for Eduardo to meet with Gabriel and his family to talk about what happened with the help of neutral person, a mediator. Estefania hoped to have Gabriel and his parents involved in the mediation session, but Gabriel’s mother, Claudia, was unwilling to participate. As a result, CCR held a family mediation for Eduardo and his parents.

During the family mediation, Eduardo accepted responsibility for his actions, even without Gabriel and Claudia present. Eduardo expressed how sorry he was about the incident and said that his actions had caused serious consequences for everyone involved. His parents were forced to miss work to be present in court, which meant less income for the family. Through this process, Eduardo had the opportunity to reflect over the past several months. He became aware that he angers very easily and struggles to control himself.

The mediator asked Eduardo questions about what caused his aggressive behavior. Eduardo named that curse words are a major trigger for him. The mediator spent time with Eduardo discussing what could happened if a similar triggering situation were to take place in the future. The mediator helped Eduardo identify specific words or actions that cause him to react. Eduardo was clear that he did not want to repeat what had happened to avoid further hurting others. He realized that his actions had caused a lot of harm. He felt that he had disrespected his family by acting in such a way. Additionally, Eduardo expressed how important his future goals are to him. He wanted to go to university, most likely study finances, and build a life for himself.

When meeting with the mediator privately, Eduardo was deeply engaged in the conversation. He shared that the incident itself had been pretty chaotic with some of his friends encouraging him to hit Gabriel and others trying to get him to stop and ignore the situation. Eduardo and the mediator discussed the power of peer pressure and the importance of true friends. Eduardo was the only one arrested and felt betrayed that his friends acted as if nothing happened. Eduardo’s major takeaway from the incident was that only he is responsible for his actions. He has come to see this incident as a learning moment because he never expected for things to transpire the way that they did.

When the mediator met privately with Eduardo's parents during the session, they expressed their disappointment regarding Claudia’s unwillingness to participate in the mediation. Prior to the mediation, they personally apologized to Claudia. Claudia made it clear that she did not want to have any kind of communication or contact with Eduardo and his family. Immediately after the incident, the school principal and administration implemented a safety plan for Gabriel. During the past six months, there has been no communication between Eduardo, Gabriel, and their families. Since it’s clear that Gabriel and Claudia want space, Estefanía and Fernando have pursued other options to help their son, such as a local family services organization, school counseling and other community organizations.

Eduardo repeated to the mediator how much he would like to apologize personally to Gabriel, but understands that that is not possible at the time. The mediator and Eduardo explored other possibilities for how he can show remorse without having to contact Gabriel. Eduardo ultimately decided that he plans to write a letter to Gabriel and give it to the school principal to deliver to Gabriel, if appropriate.

At the conclusion of the mediation, Eduardo thanked the mediator and expressed gratitude for the opportunity provided to him and his family. He said the mediator let him feel very comfortable, which led him to share his true feelings in front of his parents– something he typically had tried to avoid. He shared things that he had not been able to say previously. Most importantly, he was able to be honest with his parents and say everything he felt.