Youth Victim-Offender Mediation

Friends mean the world to Jessica, a teenager referred to mediation after she was arrested for fighting at school. Jessica and her mother, Vivian, came to mediation several months after the fight, and it was apparent to the mediator that the mother and daughter had a barrier in communication: while Vivian spoke exclusively Spanish, Jessica was much more comfortable speaking in English, and, when pushed, communicated with her mother in a mix between the two languages. There seemed to be many things which were lost in translation between the two women and their bilingual mediator was able to help them find the tools to communicate.

From the start, Vivian was adamant that her daughter had fallen in with the wrong group of people and wanted to empower her daughter to make the best choices as to the company she keeps. Jessica recognized that her behavior had changed when she joined a specific group of friends, and that by hanging out with them she had been in some serious situations, such as the fight that resulted in her arrest. Jessica noted that she had made concerted efforts to extricate herself from that group, but as a result, was worried for the coming school year because she felt she had no friends.

Despite the fact that Jessica agreed completely with Vivian, recognized that their relationship had been improving, and that Jessica had taken her mother’s advice and was spending more time with a childhood friend, Vivian was very emotional and wanted to focus the conversation with talk of the fight and negative changes in Jessica’s behavior when she joined the group of friends – which she had since left. While Vivian needed to vent about what she had been experiencing, Jessica was feeling as though she was continuing to be berated and punished when she had taken steps to address what both parties agreed as the root of the problem: the group of friends.

Through a guided conversation with a skilled mediator, an agreement was discussed and drawn up which addressed both of their concerns. Jessica and Vivian agreed that Vivian would be more involved with Jessica’s friends, and would be happy to have them over or meet them at community events. Jessica trusts her judgment, and wanted Vivian’s support as she rebuilds her network of friends. They also agreed that they would consider changing Jessica’s school, in the event that her childhood friend did not change schools to join her. Finally, they agreed on a plan moving forward, in the event that Jessica were to find herself in a situation where things may be escalating to a fight; Jessica would consult her teachers and her mother.

Both parties indicated that they had had open lines of communication and a good relationship, but that trust had eroded in the past year. They both wanted to work to re-establish that trust, and the mediation gave them the opportunity to acknowledge everything that they had not discussed and create a plan for moving forward.