Justice and Human Rights United States Project #15488

Youth Victim-Offender Mediation

Project Report | May 2, 2017
Stolen Money

By Rae Kyritsi | Programs Director

Michael and his family were sent to family mediation at Center for Conflict Resolution after Michael was arrested for stealing money from his father. Originally, Michael and his father, David, planned to attend the mediation, but in the end David was unable to participate.

Michael arrived at the mediation with Anita, who was more like a stepmother to Michael since she and his father had a child together (Michael’s half-brother). Although she was not biologically related to him, Michael had been living with her for the past two years and the two spoke easily. At first, Anita was reluctant to participate in the mediation, stating that she did not think they could make much progress without David.

Once the mediator explained the purpose of the mediation (to have a productive conversation) and that there was no pressure for them to reach any kind of agreement, Anita was quick to open up about her feelings concerning Michael. She said he had been living in a situation where he was forced to act like an adult for nearly all of his life and she was happy to take him in and provide for him in order to let him “be a kid.” Anita was not mad that he stole the money from his father. She was disappointed that he had taken the money, but she acknowledged that he had spent it responsibly, buying himself some new clothes and shoes that fit and helping pay for the family to have a Thanksgiving dinner. Michael agreed, saying that he only took the money because he felt it was rightfully owed to him, since his father’s duty was to provide for him. Anita expressed her wish that Michael would talk to her and David if he needed things like clothes and new shoes, instead of resorting to theft.

Further discussion with the mediator revealed deeper issues for the parties. It was very important to Anita that Michael learn how to be a kid and that too much was put on him too early. Before Anita had come into his life, Michael was responsible for his younger siblings, often getting them ready for school and making sure they had dinner. Anita was concerned that Michael tried to take on too much responsibility and was very concerned about the Michael’s safety, especially when he goes outside of the house. It was very important to her that he call her and let her know when he is going out so she can know whether to be worried if he is not home. In fact, on the day he was arrested he did not tell her he was leaving the house. Michael mentioned that he doesn’t tell her because she will say no and she says she says no because she is angry that he lies to her.

Anita expressed to the mediator privately that she wanted Michael to know the world is not against him and learns how to depend on others. It was also very important to her that he get re-enrolled in high school. She revealed to the mediator that she was planning to re-enroll Michael in high school the following day. She knew Michael was ready to go back because he approached her on his own about a potential school he found.

When the mediator met with Michael, he revealed the difficulty of his prior living situations and said he liked living with Anita. Michael talked to the mediator about his future and acknowledged that he was concerned for himself if he did not find a way to go back to school.

When the mediator brought the parties back together they discussed the possibility of writing down an agreement for their goals going forward. Both parties were happy about this idea and the parties were quick to agree in a plan for Michael to be re-enrolled in school. Anita agreed to help Michael with enrollment so that he could meet his goals and Michael agreed to let Anita know when he would be out of the house so that she would not worry about him.

As they were leaving Anita said she was so happy to learn that Michael was serious about getting back in school and that even though she was skeptical about the mediation at first, she was really very happy that they came.

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Feb 3, 2017
A Family Discussion

By Rae Kyritsi | Programs Director

Darryl was riding bikes with his friends in a new neighborhood when they discovered an entrance to a junk yard. They were curious about what was inside and tried to sneak through the gate, but once they made it to the other side a large pile of scrap made it impossible to access the yard. The boys rode off to the skate park and were surprised 30 minutes later when police officers arrested them. Darryl was charged with criminal trespass and was referred to mediation by his probation officer.

The junk yard owner was not able to participate in mediation, so CCR mediated a case between Darryl and his parents, Ken and Sharon. Family mediations are an opportunity for youth and their families to discuss an incident that has led to an arrest to determine if there are underlying conflicts and to talk about possible resolutions.

Ken and Sharon both agreed that Darryl was a good kid. His older brother, Mike, had been a lot of trouble and as a result they had been pretty strict with Darryl. He wasn’t allowed to hang out on the street and he spent most of his free time at home, babysitting his younger brother.

Early in the mediation the family disclosed that they did not all live in the same home and while Darryl had been speaking with each of his parents independently, and they had been speaking to one-another, it had been quite some time since all three of them had spoken in the same room. Both parents were relieved that Darryl had not been in more serious trouble and the family discussed potential consequences for being arrested.

The mediator opened up the conversation, asking if anyone had any other topics they wanted to discuss, and the parties went on to talk about other rules and expectations that they had not all discussed in some time. The mediation gave them a chance to talk about Darryl’s school work, inviting friends over to the house, and whether or not Darryl could get a part-time job. While the family did not resolve every issue discussed in the mediation, they did have a chance to communicate openly together and create a plan for moving forward.

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Nov 7, 2016
Mediation Creates Opportunity for Family Communication

By Rae Kyritsi | Programs Director

Anthony became a father during high school – a situation that put him under intense pressure. He was arrested after an altercation with Brianna, his child’s mother, and his arrest left him unable to participate on the wrestling team. Without wrestling, Anthony felt high school was of little use to him. After his arrest, he was referred to mediation with his mother, Yvonne.

Yvonne and Anthony had a loving relationship. During the mediation, Yvonne expressed understanding and support of her son and understood that the decisions he had made had created challenges he was not well-prepared to cope with at his age. Anthony, a young man of few words, mostly agreed with his mother and her summary of the challenges facing him. It became clear that Anthony’s primary challenge was communicating effectively with Brianna, and satisfying Yvonne’s desire to be a part of her new grandchild’s life. Yvonne expressed that her primary need was to support Anthony in developing a clear plan for his future. For Anthony, that plan did not include graduating from high school, and would mean that he would move in with his father.

During their conversation, both Anthony and Yvonne began to share things that they had done that had impacted the other favorably. It was clear that with each of these “reveals” the other party became more aware that each had the other’s best interests and concerns at heart, but that they had not found a way to communicate with each other. Mother and son both seemed concerned that the other might react unfavorably to their actions and create a distance between them. Once they realized that they were genuinely interested in looking out for each other, it became obvious that what they needed was a communication plan that would keep the flow of information open. In addition, Yvonne was willing to undertake the task of being the intermediary in communicating with Brianna. Both felt that removing the stress of having Yvonne deal with Brianna would better enable Anthony to focus on what he needed to do to advance his plans for his future.

In the end, Anthony and Yvonne eagerly entered into a written agreement outlining a plan for weekly communication, including getting together at least once a week for a mother-son meal. In addition, they agreed that Yvonne would assume responsibility, at least in the short-term, for communicating with Brianna.

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