Helping Girls and Young Women in Bujumbura Slum

Story : From Violence to Survival: A Mother’s Story of Courage and Resilience

When I was young, a man approached me and proposed marriage. He told me that he was divorced and had only two children. I believed him and accepted his proposal, hoping to build a family and a better future with him.

After I joined him in marriage, I discovered that the situation was very different from what he had told me. He actually had six children and was separated from their mother. I was still young, and because I believed that he loved me, I decided to remain with him and do my best to make our marriage work.

Soon afterward, I became pregnant with my first child. During the first months of my pregnancy, my husband treated me well. However, when I was about six months pregnant, his behavior suddenly changed. He began physically abusing me, sometimes simply because I asked for something to eat. He would tell me that I had brought nothing into his household and therefore had no right to ask him for anything.

I experienced different forms of violence, but I remained in the marriage. I endured the abuse, hoping that his behavior would eventually change.

Later, I became pregnant for the second time. This pregnancy was extremely difficult. I often did not have enough food to eat, and as a result, I became increasingly weak. During this difficult period, I also discovered that my husband was involved with another woman.

One day, my husband told me that he wanted to take me to the hospital because he wanted to find out what was wrong with me. When we arrived at the health facility, he told the health worker that he wanted to know whether I was pregnant. A pregnancy test was conducted, and the result confirmed that I was pregnant.

Instead of being happy about the pregnancy, my husband told me that he did not want the child. He insisted that I should terminate the pregnancy as soon as possible. I refused because I wanted to keep my baby.

On our way home, we travelled by bicycle, with my husband riding and me sitting behind him. When we reached an area near a small river, he deliberately caused an accident. I believed that he was trying to make me lose my pregnancy. People nearby witnessed what happened and realized that the accident had been deliberately caused. I was terrified. After that incident, I refused to travel on a bicycle with him again.

When we returned home, the pressure continued. My husband threatened me and told me to take medication to terminate the pregnancy. Again, I refused. I decided that I could no longer face the situation alone, so I sought help and told my father-in-law what was happening.

My father-in-law intervened. He advised my husband to stop forcing me to terminate the pregnancy and warned him that he would report the matter to the police if the threats and violence continued.

However, that night, the situation became even worse. My husband severely beat me. The violence was so intense that I feared for my life. I believed that he was trying to make me lose my pregnancy through physical violence. I felt helpless and afraid, but I held on to the hope that I would survive and protect my unborn child.

Eventually, after everything I had endured, my husband left me for another woman.

Today, I live alone with my two children. Life is not easy. Without a husband to support us, I have to work hard to provide for my family. I work in the rice fields to earn an income and meet our basic needs.

My story is a story of pain, but it is also a story of survival, courage, and resilience. I experienced physical violence, threats, reproductive coercion, abandonment, and economic hardship. Despite everything I went through, I chose to protect my child and refused to give up. Today, I continue working every day to provide for my two children and give them a better future. My experiences have taught me that even in the most difficult circumstances, a woman can find the courage to stand up for herself and protect what matters most.

“I grew up in a financially stable family, which meant that I did not have many opportunities to learn how to earn a living or become financially independent. As a young woman, I married a man who initially showed me love and care. However, everything changed after I became pregnant.

Whenever I asked him for money to buy food or medicine, he would tell me that I was not the only woman in his life. When I was six months pregnant, he began to abuse me physically, and spent very little time at home. One day, he returned back home with another woman and told me that she had come to replace me because I was useless and only asked him for money. Hurt and overwhelmed, I reacted in anger, and a fight broke out between us. I became weak and cried out for help until neighbors intervened, causing the other woman to flee.

From that moment, the abuse intensified. He treated me with even greater cruelty and neglect. When I gave birth, he did not visit me in the hospital. When my family asked him to come and see me and the baby, he responded with insults and even denied that the child was his.

After leaving the hospital, I could no longer endure the hunger, rejection, and suffering, so I returned to my parents’ home. Three years later, I remarried, hoping for a better future. Unfortunately, my second marriage also became abusive. Although we had agreed that my child from the first marriage would live with us, my husband later forced me to send the child back to my parents. He mistreated me as well. During this difficult period, I learned how to work and provide for myself and my family. Eventually, he abandoned me and our two children, leaving me alone to care for my three children.

For many years, I carried deep emotional wounds from rejection, violence, abandonment, and hardship. I felt broken, hopeless, and burdened by painful memories. Participating in the Trauma Healing Workshop marked a turning point in my life. Through the workshop, I gained a better understanding of how trauma had affected me and learned healthy ways to process my pain. I discovered that my experiences do not define my worth and that healing is possible.”

“I came to this workshop carrying a heavy burden in my heart. For many years, I have lived through emotional abuse and domestic violence. Before my mother-in-law came to live with us, my husband and I had a happy marriage. But after she arrived, everything changed. She took control of our home and slowly turned my husband's heart against me and our children. Their words and actions caused me deep emotional pain.

There were times when my children and I did not have enough food to eat. While my husband and my mother-in-law ate, I had to work very hard to provide for my children. Even while I was heavily pregnant, I worked as a construction helper because I had no other way to feed my family. I worked until the day I gave birth and went to the hospital alone. My husband came only the next day. While I was in the hospital, other patients shared their food with me because I had nothing to eat. When I returned home with my baby, my mother-in-law told me that my children and I were cursed. Those words broke my heart.

I endured all of this because I believed that staying in my marriage would be better for my children than separating. At one point, I begged my husband to move with us to another house, away from his mother's influence. He agreed and even found a house to rent. I thought our lives would finally change. But only a few days later, he returned to his mother's home, leaving me alone with our children.

Today, I am raising my children on my own. Whenever one of them becomes sick, I have to ask my husband for help with medical expenses. Sometimes he helps, but many times he ignores us. Living with this uncertainty has been painful and exhausting.

This workshop gave me something I had not experienced in a long time « a safe place to speak openly about my pain ». I have learned that healing is possible.”

• Global_Giving_September_2026_Narrative_Report.doc (DOC)