Project Report
| Dec 2, 2013
Vietnam progress and Tams Story
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Latest stats from the field:
32 Counselling sessions conducted each month
2 Training sessions for case managers
2 Self defense lessons consducted with clients
Tams Story
Tam is 25 years old and endured years of abuse by herfather and her husband. Due to the lack of aection andattention from the time she was young, Tam was extremely vulnerable. She married a man who professed his love forher without knowing much about his background and wassubsequently abused.
I come from a very traditional family. My father did not likeme because I was born a girl. I had a poor relationship withhim. He was very violent towards my mother and I. Manytimes, we left the house to stay with relatives when he hitus. One evening, he was so drunk and started hitting mymother and I. He drove both of us out of the house.
We decided that we couldn’t take it anymore and moved to Hanoi. That was in 2009.
In 2011, I met my husband in Hanoi. I knew him for several months and he proposed to me. I was verymoved as I thought I had found true love in this world. I borrowed money for our wedding because bothof us couldn’t aord it. I can still remember the day I was married. I was very happy and looking forwardto our beautiful life together.
Two days later, I learned by accident that he had already been married. He was separated from his wifebut he never told me that.
I was devastated. How could he have cheated me? But I forgave him. I was willing to be a submissivewife.
Things got worse. He lied to me and said he was looking for a job. But he never wanted to work. He wasalways hanging out with his friends. Whatever money I earned went into his pocket. When I refused togive him my salary, he hit me. After I gave birth to my daughter, the hitting became worse.
One day it got so bad that I had to run away from the house, leaving my daughter behind. I regretted mydecision of leaving her behind. But I had no choice because he stopped me and I did not have enoughstrength to ght back. When I came back, he told me that my daughter had been sent away to live withmy mother-in-law. When I called him to request to have my daughter, he wanted US$3000 from me.Where can I get the money to pay him? I still have not paid o the debt of another US$3000 owed for the wedding.
Thanks to Hagar, I have a place to stay, I receive training and I have a job at Joma.
My faith in God keeps me strong. I am trying to work very hard to save money to pay o my debts andto get my daughter back. I am not sure how long this will take and whether I can ever hold my daughteragain, as I earn only $150 a month. But I will continue to work hard, hope and pray.
For six months, Hagar has been supporting Tam with counseling, vocational training and employmentat Joma. She has shown commitment and diligence in her work at Joma. She is also receivingcounseling to help her manage her feelings of guilt over leaving her daughter. Hagar Vietnamhas referred Tam for legal advice on custody issues and is supporting her in being economicallyindependent.
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