Empower Abused and Trafficked Vietnamese Women

In January 2016, Nhi’s husband sexually abused their two young children. After years of physical abuse towards the family, Nhi decided to run away with her son and daughter, seeking refuge at Hagar’s Recovery Centre. 

All three were experiencing high levels of trauma. Nhi was quick to anger, isolating herself when she felt depressed. Her children were hyperactive and struggled concentrating. They wouldn’t follow the rules of the centre, creating a challenge for Hagar staff.

Nhi was faced with two options. She wanted justice to be established by bringing her husband to court but she was concerned about her children’s mental and emotional health. After careful consideration and advice from Hagar’s psychologists, she decided to focus on helping her children heal and recover first. 

Today, Nhi and her children are on the road to recovery. She is learning how to help her children. Nhi was taught to recognize that children mirror emotions, so she now tries be calmer around her children so they feel safer and calm. She also is focusing on building a warm, happy and safe relationship with her son and daughter, allowing them time to heal. At times, she has difficulties to calm herself because of the trauma she herself has experienced, but she is trying to change and she witnesses change in her children as well. 

Hagar staff worked with Nhi and her children to develop a list of expected behaviors with consequences called “The way to success” for her children. They have shown positive improvements: The daughter started to say “I’m sorry” after making mistakes, brushes her teeth before going to sleep every evening and gets along with her older brother. The brother concentrates more in school and is less hyperactive. The children are now learning how to behave well based on a sense of ownership and pride instead of a reward system.

Nhi is very happy to see the positive changes in her children. They are less aggressive, more willing to listen to adults and they connect with each other better. Nhi is also becoming more active, taking initiatives and important decisions for her life. She started making toys for her children and organised an event for Hagar staff and other clients. 

Nhi is very engaged in learning English and makes impressive progress after each class because she understands how English will help her in a future career. The volunteer who is now teaching Nhi English shared: “I’m worried Nhi’s English learning capability will at some point outgrow my teaching capacity. She has something new every week, she is so engaged, and she did so well just because she wants to.”

Hagar is very proud of Nhi. She is tenacious, resilient, and she does her very best to pursue a brighter future for herself and her children. Her heart to care for her children and focus on their wellbeing has led to her fast recovery from personal trauma. 

Links:

• http://hagarusa.org/

“The best day of my life was the day I received this Hello Kitty teddy bear.  It was also a sad day because it was the day I left Hagar’s recovery programme. But I reintegrated with my family and now I feel safe and happy.”

When Bopha was only 6 years old, she was sexually abused by a man who broke into her home.

Bopha’s father was an alcoholic and had gone out to drink with friends. Their grandmother was babysitting her and her younger sister at the time while their mother went to find the father. When the perpetrator broke down the door, hitting the grandmother leaving her unable to reach for help.

As the man left the house, he threw $5 on Bopha’s bed and threatened to hurt her more if she told anyone about what he had done. At such a young age, Bopha was left hurt and in shock. When her parents came home, she told them of the abuse and they immediately went to the hospital and reported the abuse to the police. The authorities were able to trace the abuser who is now serving a 25 year sentence in the local prison.

During the four years that followed, Bopha was transferred to Hagar and lived at Hagar’s girl’s recovery centre.

“I was scared the day I arrived. I didn’t know anyone and I was still worried about strangers. But after a few days I realised I was at a safe place. I liked studying and it was fun to play outside with other children. I don’t know about their life. Some have physical marks but we never talked about why we were all there, we just smiled and played.”

Hagar’s catch up learning centre was a place of healing for Bopha. She spent weekly sessions with her case manager and counsellor, who helped her heal from her trauma through trauma informed care and art therapy. She proved to be an excellent creative student, paying attention to the teachers and helping them clean up after classes. The young shy girl who had first arrived was changing into a sweet and smiling student.

In early march 2016, Bopha was able to reintegrate into her family home, with close assistance from Hagar.  The family home is located in a very small community where everyone knows everyone. But at her new school, no one asks where Bopha has been, she is accepted and participates in class.

Her favorite outfit is still the Hagar school uniform she was provided with. Her favorite toy remains enclosed inside its original wrapping, inside a black bin bag.

“I keep it in its wrapping because it’s such a precious gift. We have never had anything like this before, and it is Bopha’s to keep. She shares it with her little sister.” says Bopha’s mother.

“Life isn’t easy. I am always worrying about my daughters’ safety. I worry that there could be more abuse in the future, so I sleep next to them both, and my husband sleeps on the floor.”She says.

Today, Bopha is a bright happy child. She helps her mother around the house with chores and loves to ride to school. Her mother ensures that she rides with a group of 6 other girls and boys from their hamlet, so they stay in a safe group. Hagar’s case manager has helped the mother understand how she should keep her daughters safe inside and outside of the family home.

On a weekly basis, the perpetrator’s aging mother comes begging to have her son released in exchange for money, apologising on his behalf. But justice has been established and although it isn’t easy to turn her away, Bopha’s mother refuses to give into the bribery.

“The truest happiness, knowing my daughters are safe”.

Hagar provides recovery services not only for clients but also their families as they reintegrate. Bopha’s recovery is still ongoing but with close monitoring, she is improving and reintegrating well. Hagar also provides counselling to Bopha’s mother who is learning on family safety and safety within the community, on how to communicate with her daughters and educate them.

Links:

• http://www.hagarusa.org