From Homelessness to Stability

Our journey started as an announcement in the bulletin fishing for interest in forming a Circle of Support at Duke Memorial. A handful of curious people attended an interest meeting and from that, a team of four was formed. We completed training and waited for two months for a family graduating from IHN. Because of our church’s connection to this program we felt that it was important to hold out for a family coming from this specific program rather than another Durham homeless shelter. We officially began working with our family; two parents, one young-adult child, one teenager, and one pre-teen (grandchild) in June 2013.

The goal of Durham Circles of Support, a program of Genesis Home, is to empower formerly homeless families and individuals while providing the support necessary to sustain housing and improve their quality of life. Support Circles are groups of four to 10 people who are matched with a formerly homeless family or individual for a 12 month period. During that time, the Support Circle provides assistance, guidance, support and mentoring with the ultimate goal of helping the family or individual sustain housing and improve their quality of life.

Each of us felt a strong and very personal calling to make this blind commitment. We certainly came to the table blessed with different skill sets and comfort levels. We were naturally weary of expectations and the challenges we would face. We derived our strength from the faith of our personal calling to this mission and the support of one another. We raised funds in the congregation (matched $1000 by the program) to have an emergency pool of money to assist in sustaining housing.

The beginning was heavily focused on helping the family set up home and meet basic needs. We asked the congregation for household donations and you came through. A month into our partnership a team member, Susan Boeler, moved suddenly. Soon thereafter the string of serious and chronic health issues for four of the family members emerged. There have been numerous doctors’ appointments and stays in the hospital. We shifted from working on longer term goals to the immediacy of day to day survival. There were two emergency car repairs that we used program funds for because independent transportation was of vital importance to the family. Funds also enabled us to provide assistance for food and gas during prolonged hospital stays.

While we felt that our family could not catch a break with the constant barrage of health issues and other blockades, since day one they have remained overwhelming positive and always exceedingly grateful. Often the calls to team members are just to check in and to share small joys. Sometimes there are laughing good byes of “Have a boring week!” because we realize that their daily lives often feel like a roller coaster.

A year later health issues remains a prominent focus in their lives, but there have been successes in the adult son’s transitioning to a group home and receiving there needed support services that are greatly enriching his life. The teenage daughter was accepted into the Durham Inner-City Gardening (DIG) program at SEEDS and she is exceeding in that mentorship program. The family lives month to month on the social security disability income for three people and utilizes various community supports to help with basic needs.

It would be hard to recruit people for longer than a twelve months, but a prolonged commitment of eighteen to twenty-four months would boost sustainability due to the myriad of challenges facing those transitioning out of homelessness.

As a team we have been problem solvers, furniture movers, acquirers of goods, mechanics, legal advisers, chauffeurs, feeders, hospital companions, texting/phone buddies, confidants, encouragers and more. Throughout this involved journey we had varying levels of time commitment to the family, but each has been an integral part of the team. The family became comfortable looking to us in the different roles they assigned us and even gave us nicknames. While we don’t have the Circles of Support resources available to us anymore, we are forever connected to this family. It was God’s will for us to come together in the first place and for us to grow in our own ways in this special relationship. We were inspired by their resilience in the face of difficulties – poverty, poor health, and dealing with kids. At times it was very hard to understand what we perceived as their poor choices. There was a great deal of personal conflict and frustration as we put aside our own judgment and bias as we tried to be there as servants of God - to be with them and to try to share in the struggle of life with them. Our struggle wasn’t in the quality of life sense, but rather in the spiritual sense.

Circles of Support has real and immeasurable value for all involved.  It is a humbling experience that you need to deliberately decide to become a part of. It is a leap of faith for everyone involved. It requires you get out of your comfort zone – to enter into the lives of people not like you who are a part of the kingdom of God. 

We hope that others at Duke Memorial will be inspired to follow our lead and form a new Circle of Support.