We Are Not Invisible

Dear Friends,

All of us have a story to tell, and each is unique and powerful in its own way. I hope that some part of my story resonates with the challenges and successes in your own life. I believe that our humanity and compassion is grounded in our willingness to see ourselves through the struggle of others and because of this I’ve chosen to share my story with you.

My name is Katie Becker, I’m 35 years old and have three sons. I’m very proud to say that in May of 2013 I will be graduating from law school. This has been my lifelong dream, but if we had met when I was a teenager you would have predicted a very different future for me. My family was poor and there was a lot of dysfunction.  From the time I was two to seven years old, we had no electricity or running water and lived in an isolated rural area. By the time I was 13, my mother was gone for good and I was raising my 5 younger brothers and sisters and maintaining my father’s house while he worked 60 to 70 hours a week. My father had a long fuse, but when he reached the end of it, he could be brutal.

I got pregnant when I was 14, and during one violent episode my father slapped me so hard I could feel the bones in my spine pop. I was afraid for the baby and for me. I found out about Florence Crittenton in Charlotte, North Carolina and at the end of my 9th grade year I walked through their doors 6 months pregnant. It was there that I began to heal, discovered my inner strength, and envisioned my future. I left Florence Crittenton and was placed in foster care. Needless to say, when my foster dad put a move on me I left. Nevertheless, I graduated from high school and then from the University of North Carolina, Charlotte.  I was the first person in my family to graduate from college. Today, I work full-time as a contract and lease administrator while going to law school at night. I’ll graduate next May from Charlotte School of Law, and on that day, when I look out at the crowd, I will see my three sons and my Crittenton family.

The people at Florence Crittenton have been a source of constant support. But recently my Crittenton family has become much larger through my connection to The National Crittenton Foundation (TNCF). I learned that Florence Crittenton in Charlotte and I are part of a national network of agencies, advocates and women like me from every corner of our country. Together we work to ensure that stories like mine are heard and seriously considered when Congress takes action.

Recently I spoke at a Congressional Briefing hosted by TNCF on Adverse Childhood Experiences and young mothers.  It was an honor and an inspirational experience, but more importantly, I know I was making a difference. 

I’ve always encouraged people to support my local Crittenton, but today I am asking you to support the national work, because without it, I would be invisible and so would thousands of other girls and young women who are survivors of childhood violence and trauma. We didn’t ask to be born into these situations and we want the same thing you do ­— to be safe, to heal, to thrive and to have a bright future.

Thank you for listening and for caring.

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The National Crittenton Foundation was invited to attend The Coordinating Council on Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention’s quarterly meeting. Through TNCF’s We Are Not Invisible program Dani, a former Crittenton client from Michigan, attended the meeting in Washington, D.C. She was able to share her story and lend a voice to the following topics: Risk Factors and Needs, Girl’s Pathway to Success, and the Discussion of Federal Agency Coordination.

A Letter From Dani

On September 14, 2012, I traveled and spoke with Jeanette Pai-Espinosa, President of The National Crittenton Foundation at a meeting in Washington DC. The meeting was with The Coordinating Council on Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. While sitting there listening to some of the topics spoken by the panelists−the treatment of young women in the juvenile system, the issues trafficking victims are forced to deal with, how teenagers currently in the foster care system are 'dealt' with when they're still having children of their own and the mountains they have to climb−alarms started going off in my head. Thoughts like 'Are you kidding me? This is STILL happening? Isn't it 2012? The answer is...yep. It sure is. As I sat there, two emotions swirled around me. The first emotion was a feeling of gratitude that engulfed me because luckily I was one of few that the system worked for. I received and RESPONDED to the services that were offered, therefore completely avoiding the juvenile system that damages so many of my younger sisters. The second emotion that was ignited was a fierce frustration to make changes and not let maltreatment and discourse happen to these young women any longer. SERVICES work. CELLS do not. The bottom line is, had I NOT gotten residential placement with Crittenton Services, had I been placed in 'Juvi', the thought of who I would be today (if I would have made it today) scares me to death and makes my heart bleed for the girls who are there and simply need to heal.

I explained to the council how I, myself endured severe physical and emotional abuse by my father, was simply not coming home at night, skipping school and began experimenting with drinking, and drugs and how I was subsequently taken from my father on two separate occasions, ultimately ending up in the hands of the staff of Florence Crittenton Services of Michigan, a residential home for girls. When I told the council this, after listening what happens to most of the girls who do go through the juvenile system, I realized how darn lucky and blessed I was…and am to this day.

To learn more about Dani, visit our website at www.NationalCrittenton.org

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