Support foster parents and adopters in Russia

Evgenia talks about preparing for foster parenthood, about finding a child, fears, meeting her daughter, deciding, difficult adaptation and that in the end everything worked out.

"I saw my daughter's video-profile on the website of the charitable foundation. When I arrived at the Orphanage, a nanny with a tiny girl in her arms went into the office. She was like a doll - quiet and submissive, only a wary look gave off alarm. The daughter arrived home a month later. I remember every minute when she turned from a state-owned child into a beloved girl, I remember that embarrassment with which I said: "I am your mother."

During the adaptation, the help of psychologists was required. Two years spent in an orphanage and the trauma of rejection left deep traces in her story. Any tiny change in the surrounding space caused daughter tears and insomnia. When the adaptation ended, we met a kind, affectionate child. She is my teacher and my great love.

My husband and I cared for each other in the same way that we cared for children. Of course, training, consultations with specialized specialists, psychologists played a big role.

I want to add for those who are in doubt and in the period of adaptation - do not be alone, find each other, communities, psychologists, talk about problem out loud."

For the last 4 months foster parents have received 701 personal consultations of psychologists, lawyers, consultations of specialists through social media; 1480 lessons of tutors helping foster children to be more successful in school studying.

Thank you for support of our project and changing lives of children and parents in foster and adopting families!

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About how important it is to be resource, says the foster dad of Kolya and Vova, father of many children Maxim. Together with his wife Julia, they raise five children.

“At some point, my wife and I faced burnout. In general, the adopted child is a litmus test. He will test for the strength of your nerves, the strength of the bonds of marriage. Psychologists help us. We twice turned to the help of specialists from the Charity foundation "Change one life". The foundation psychologist explained to us that what we are afraid of is not so scary. Burnout is absolutely normal. During these periods of life, you need to seek help from psychologists, read specialized literature, look for ways to replenish resources, just relax and not try to be heroes. We realized the main thing: burnout is not the end. Children entered the teenage period, and this is a very difficult period, there are a lot of questions, so the help of a psychologist is required.”

“You don't have to give up, you must go forward - we're adults. We are smarter and older than children, we are parents. Do not be afraid of adopted parenthood, awareness of your role in this world and desire to help someone is already a lot.”

For the last 4 months foster parents have received 601 personal consultations of psychologists, lawyers, consultations of specialists through social media; 448 hours of babysitters’ assistance; 1474 lessons of tutors helping foster children to be more successful in school studying.

Thank you for support of our project and changing lives of children and parents in foster and adopting families!

Links:

• View project description

Lyudmila took Alina into the family. During the adaptation period, difficulties arose that were difficult for Lyudmila to cope with on her own, and she turned to the Charitable Foundation “Change One Life” to find answers to the questions: “Why did the child ask to return to the orphanage? Why cheats? Why spoils my gifts?”

In an interview with the foundation, Lyudmila says: “The psychologist of the foundation explained that in this way the child checks me. Before I met and talked with her, I could not understand: why do I give all of myself, and nothing to me in return? What am I doing wrong? Why is there no heat from Alina? If it were not for the foundation's psychologist, I would have begun to engage in self-destruction. Of course, consultation with her is a treasure trove of knowledge. The psychologist said that Alina lives her trauma at the first stage. And over the next couple of years, the daughter should be perceived as a small child. And the second reason - is waiting fatigue: "What if they return me?" Or "When will they return me?" Because the experience of her previous life is not based on a quiet life in the family, everything was different there. Before consulting with a psychologist, I could not realize this problem, now everything has fallen into place."

For the last 4 months foster parents have received 209 personal consultations of psychologists, lawyers, consultations of specialists through social media; 598 hours of babysitters’ assistance; 1162 lessons of tutors helping foster children to be more successful in school studying.

This help is necessary for families to overcome difficult days and become more sustainable and calmer.

Thank you for helping parents who cares for orphans children!

Support is extremely important for foster families, says Valentina, who took 7 years old Aliya into her family:

"In our town there are no such specialists able to deal with oprhan theme and foster parenting. But problems can appear suddently and sometimes very sharp. By the way not all of the psychologists are ready to understand all of the complecated and delicate situations, like what happened with Aliya".

Girl became distressed, and as a result tried to controll everyting, including foster mother. This happened, as specialists clarified, because the orphan child has been left alone right from beginning of his life, had to survive by herself. That's the reason of this kind of distress. 

"Assistance of Change one life Foundation helped me to keep the psychological stability in the family, to prevent the emotional burn out, to figure out the psychological problems in the child's behavior. I'm so grateful for everyone for the support!" - tells Valentina.

Thank you for support of our project, for giving the adopters and foster parents the abitily to ciome over all the difficulties of adoptation and parenting. 

From the beginning of this year foster parents have received 681 personal consultations of psychologists, laywers, consultations of specialists through social media. We have provided 891 hour of babisitters assistance for families, 2220 lessons of tutors helping foster children to be more successful in school studying. 

Thank you for being part of our team helping orphan children to stay in new famililes! 

Julia is taking care of Elya - her goddaughter. Girl's parents died, and in the age of ten she came to the new family.

Adaptation wasn't easy, Elya became the oldest child in the family, she didn't wanted to. And it was complicated for her to find the right place in the family, she didn't quite listened to her new parents.

In the adaptation time, Julia turned to psycologist from Change One Life Foundation. Cousultaions helped the whole family: parents, their biological children and Elya.

The help of a specialist, Irina, who's been foster parent herself, was very important. And now Julia knows that the problems are temporary and there are ways to solve them.

Thank you for helping foster parents together with our project! 

In 2021 foster parents received 3219 consultations of psychologists and lawyers, 1377 hours of babysitter assistance. Children in foster families have got 2666 lessons with tutors.

This assistance helped foster families become stronger and overcome difficulties.

Thank you for being close to parents who cares about orphan children!