Summer camp for orphanage-leavers with children

First of all, I want to thank everyone who has continued donating to make this year's summer camp possible.  Our hope and prayer is that the devastating crisis in Ukraine will end swiftly.  However awful the situation, it doesn't change our opinion of our families who are working so hard to strengthen their relationships and improve their lives.  Nor does it make us think less of our colleagues, all committed and compassionate people.  The families we help are amongst the poorest.  They will be hit hard by the soaring inflation, the job losses and the financial insecurity in Russia today.  Part of our work is to help them adapt to change and to cope with the stresses of life.  Our summer camp will be as valuable as ever this year.

May is always a month of preparation for us.  Our administrator and volunteers have visited our summer camp base near the village of Dolbeniki.  They travelled down roads with verges still covered in snow.  Spring seems in no hurry this year.  As usual, they have cleared our outdoor play areas, refreshed the ever-popular sandpit, and got the supplies of drinking water ready.  They have put up an arial so we can get internet access, and set up outdoor hand-washing stations.

Meanwhile, our families and young people are also getting ready for the trip.

Liza is planning which toys to take with her so she can show them her favourite place, where she loves to go for walks, and play with her mama and her sister.  Timur is also looking forward to a return visit: "I want to go again.  I can play with mama and the other children a lot when I'm there.  I can't wait to go."

The parents are also looking ahead and reflecting on what they want to learn this year.  Dliana says, 

"During the last session, I learnt how to be more emotionally stable with my child.  It is important to be stable and not to explode with my child when something goes wrong, or it's stressful at work.  When I saw that if I understand what's going on with my child, then it become much easier for me to help and to cope with the situation.  That's how the summer training has helped me.  In every day life you let so much pass you by, you don't pay attention, and it turns out you miss important things in relation to your child.  He is growing and already demands not to be treated like a baby.  It's important for me to learn to see and accept my child as he is, rather than as I'd like him to be.  For me, this would be difficult without help from the team."

The teenage and young adult orphanage-leavers are also preparing for their trip.  We will have a mix of newbies and old hands.  The new participants are getting involved in the planning.  They are working out all the details, such as how they will get independently to the train station.  Sasha, Tania and Kirill have not been able to come with us for some time.  They are working hard to get the time off work so that they can make it this year.  Sasha says, "I must go.  I just can't miss such an important get-together". 

We very much hope that our whole group will be able to make it, after a couple of years of health and work difficulties.  There is so much we all want to learn from the experience, and so much growing to do.  

We can take it for granted that children play.  But when our summer camp started back in August, the children didn't know how.  They found it difficult to play on their own, and they certainly couldn't play together.  It was hard to stick to the rules, hard to resolve their conflicts, hard to lose themselves in their imaginations.  It was easier to hit each other, push one another aside, or simply hang back and stay on the fringes.  Timur found it particularly difficult and was often agressive to the other children.

Over nine days, back in the summer, thanks to your donations, five families with children 8 and under were able to learn how to play together, how to talk to each other and how to listen.  We had invited eight of our most motivated families.  Sadly, three had to drop out at the last minute, either because the parents fell ill, or, in one case, because the child unexpectedly had to go into hospital.  Those that did come, were fully committed to learning and changing.

During the children's playtimes, the professionals were there to gently guide the children.  They showed the children how to ask each other to play, how to say if they didn't like a particular game.  We took the children with and without their families on lots of walks.  The sandpits were a particularly popular area.  The children were able to roll around, run and scramble up big hills of sand.  They released a lot of tension through physical activity, which they often lack in their home city environment.

However, the real breakthrough came as their mamas learned how to be more attentive to their needs.  In our play therapy sessions, we asked the mums to show care for their children by brushing their hair, rubbing in hand-cream, or using face paints.  This intimate activity was difficult for parents and children to start with.  The mamas learned not to interpret their child's refusal to take part as naughtiness.  Gently, they invited their children to be cared for, several times if necessary.

Another bonding activity involved decorating a piece of cloth with pictures that were meaningful to the whole family.  Timur created a whole story on his blanket involving a battle a journey through a labyrinth.  When they had finished their blankets, they were able to sit on them and tell each other stories.  The children particularly liked hearing tales of when they were babies, and when their mamas were little.

Gradually, as the children became more confident that they would get positive attention from their parents, their behaviour improved.  They were more relaxed, they learned new ways of resolving their conflicts, and began to make friends.  They took the inititative more often and developed more complex games that were appropriate to their age.  Instead of playing babies (which was popular at the start of camp), the older ones suggested building a den and came up with ideas of how to go about it.

Back in St Petersburg now, we build on what we have learned at camp and also the mamas pass on their new understanding to their peers.  Our weekly support group helps maintain the progress, continues to strengthen our families and gives the children valuable play skills they can take with them to school and the playground.  

Thank you very much for making this camp and our camp for teenagers and young orphanage-leavers possible.

Over the last eighteen months we have all had to be flexible.  Our summer camp for teenagers didn't quite work out as usual, but we still had a great time.  We had hoped to take twelve young people to our log cabin for the camp.  Unfortunately, in the end only five were able to take part.  The others weren't able to come for reasons out of their control, some had difficulty getting time off work, others were sent on the camp run by their children's home, and others were hit by illness at the last minute.  Because the preparation is such a vital part of the project, we didn't want to take others in their place.

The other change was venue.  We expect our young people to travel independently to the camp on public transport after carefully planning their route together.  This year several of the participants were new to independent travelling, so we changed the venue to one closer to St Petersburg to make the journey less daunting.  In addition to planning their travel, the group were also involved in setting the menu and budgeting for the trip.  Ira said, "We went on camp with our children's home, but no-one let us anywhere near the food or the organisation.  No-one discussed with us what we were going to eat or where we were going to go.  We just played and swam.  I felt grown up this time, and understood how much you have to be able to do."  We hope this experience of planning will help them organise their own independent trips in future. 

The theme for the camp was the different roles we take in life.  We talked about the roles they take at camp and in their everyday life: employee, neighbour, friend, partner etc.  We were able to identify which roles presented particular difficulties, and to discuss how we can overcome these.  Vlad said, "I love helping, but I would like to understand what it means to be a leader, to try it out here and then everyday life".   During the camp everyone had a chance to be the leader, tackling challenges which were totally new to them. 

Of course everyone also learnt practical skills.  Kostya, who has been on camp before, taught the newbies how to put up a tent.  The forest environment also played a vital part.  It presented us with challenges, like a stream to be crossed during our hike (the group came up with a great solution - see photo).  The natural surroundings are also in themselves fantastic for the group's mental health.  It put everyone in a calmer mood, giving us space to think more deeply than usual and to grow in understanding and confidence.

Thank you to everyone who has donated over the last year to make this camp a success.  We will report soon on the fantastic camp we held for our families with younger children.

As I write we are in the final stages of preparation for our second year of summer camps during this pandemic.  The restrictions have eased in our region, so we can be confident at least that our first camp will go ahead in a few days time.

During May volunteers, staff and young orphanage-leavers from our support group have been helping to prepare our camp base.  We cleaned and undertook minor repairs inside and refreshed some of the furnishings thanks to a local firm, who donated a sofa and other basic furniture.  We also cut the grass and cleared overgrown areas outside.

This year our first camp will be a little different from usual.  Three teenagers (aged 15 to 17) whose parents grew up in orpahanges will be joining us without their parents.  Their parents are fully involved in all the preparations, but this is a chance for their children to have an experience of being more independent.  Tney will be joined by seven young people from our support group for those who are about to leave, or have just left the orphanage system.  Our experience shows that those who grow up in families, and those who grow up in orphanages have a great deal to learn from each other.  As usual, we have a full programme of individual and group counselling and fun, creative and therapeutic activities lined up for them.  

Later in the summer, in August, we hope to run a second camp, this time for families with pre-school children.  We expect seven families with eleven children between them to join us.

It has been so important for us to continue supporting our young people and families through this pandemic.  At this particularly anxious time they have needed our support more than ever.  We have also been able to influence them to make responsible choices about their behaviour to protect themselves and those around them.  We are very grateful to you for helping make these camps possible.  Next time we write, we will be able to tell you how they have gone.