Juvenile Victim-Offender Mediation

by Center for Conflict Resolution
Vetted

Anthony became a father during high school – a situation that put him under intense pressure. He was arrested after an altercation with Brianna, his child’s mother, and his arrest left him unable to participate on the wrestling team. Without wrestling, Anthony felt high school was of little use to him. After his arrest, he was referred to mediation with his mother, Yvonne.

Yvonne and Anthony had a loving relationship. During the mediation, Yvonne expressed understanding and support of her son and understood that the decisions he had made had created challenges he was not well-prepared to cope with at his age. Anthony, a young man of few words, mostly agreed with his mother and her summary of the challenges facing him. It became clear that Anthony’s primary challenge was communicating effectively with Brianna, and satisfying Yvonne’s desire to be a part of her new grandchild’s life. Yvonne expressed that her primary need was to support Anthony in developing a clear plan for his future. For Anthony, that plan did not include graduating from high school, and would mean that he would move in with his father.

During their conversation, both Anthony and Yvonne began to share things that they had done that had impacted the other favorably. It was clear that with each of these “reveals” the other party became more aware that each had the other’s best interests and concerns at heart, but that they had not found a way to communicate with each other. Mother and son both seemed concerned that the other might react unfavorably to their actions and create a distance between them. Once they realized that they were genuinely interested in looking out for each other, it became obvious that what they needed was a communication plan that would keep the flow of information open. In addition, Yvonne was willing to undertake the task of being the intermediary in communicating with Brianna. Both felt that removing the stress of having Yvonne deal with Brianna would better enable Anthony to focus on what he needed to do to advance his plans for his future.

In the end, Anthony and Yvonne eagerly entered into a written agreement outlining a plan for weekly communication, including getting together at least once a week for a mother-son meal. In addition, they agreed that Yvonne would assume responsibility, at least in the short-term, for communicating with Brianna.

Nariah came to CCR for a family mediation session with her grandfather, Orien.

She had been referred to CCR after she was arrested for battery. Nariah and another girl, Jada, had argued over Facebook and Nariah told Jada that when she saw her, she was going to slap her. At school the following day, Jada challenged Nariah (in front of other students) “I thought you were going to slap me…”, so Nariah slapped her.

The two girls began fighting. In the scuffle that followed, the school’s principal was knocked to the ground trying to break up the fight. As a result, the principal was badly injured and both girls were arrested.

Nariah was suspended from school and sent to mediation through a court diversion program. Although the principal did not participate, Nariah was able to have a mediation with her grandfather about the incident.

During mediation, Nariah admitted she had a problem with authority and disliked most of her teachers. Sadly, she did like the principal and felt that Dr. Connor had tried to reach out to her and help her in the past. She repeatedly said that she felt bad that as a result of her injuries, the principal had missed that year’s 8th grade graduation. Nariah said that she was generally “disrespectful” and did not like following rules. At the same time, though, she recognized that when she was disrespectful, she often missed out on doing the things she enjoyed because the teachers would punish her by making her miss participating in sports. As Nariah spoke with her grandfather and the mediator, it became clear that she craved respect from her teachers. The teachers who recognized her need for respect definitely received respect in return.

During the mediation, Nariah discussed her dreams, including being a good person, helping others, becoming a pediatrician and working with children.

Her grandfather believed that she wanted to change and at first he felt she needed more discipline. He was very concerned with the amount of time Nariah was spending on Facebook and felt that if she was challenged by other kids she would not back down. He said there was a lot of love in their home but also a lot of tension due to financial issues.

Through detailed conversation, the mediator built trust with Nariah, who shared that she felt different from everyone else because her birth father had been in jail since the day she was born and would be there for the rest of his life. Nariah had never had any contact with him. She said it made her angry all of the time. During the conversation, Nariah was able to think about about ways she might fill her time more constructively than being on Facebook, and work toward her goal of helping others. She also decided that she needed some counseling about her father. Orien said that during the mediation process, he realized that Nariah had a wall up to defend herself and that the situation with her father had “taken a big toll on her; maybe more than we realized.” He had pride in his family and felt that they could work with her to try to be more respectful and to control her temper. Orien also recognized how important it was to Nariah to be treated with respect, and why that was so important to her. He wanted her to have pride in herself and to try to stay away from Facebook. Since they both knew that it was unrealistic that a 14 year old girl would stay off Facebook, they talked a lot about strategies to deal with negativity on social media.

Orien was especially pleased with the mediation because going in, he was very anxious about what to expect. Nariah expressed that she was relieved to be able to talk bluntly about her situation without judgment. In mediation, Orien and Nariah created a plan for communication, discussed strategies for dealing with conflict online, and left with a better understanding of what was important to both of them in helping Nariah achieve a better future.

Javon was 16 when his dad died. That was seven months ago; since then, he had been regularly stealing from individuals and businesses in his neighborhood. 

Javon had lived with his dad up until his death, but now he was back with his mom who would come and go without saying where she was for days at a time. She was a known drug user and Javon was essentially on his own. 

He got arrested for stealing liquor from the corner store by his aunt’s house earlier in the winter. Javon’s probation officer thought it would be helpful for him to go through mediation, so the officer referred him to CCR. Representatives from the store declined to come to the mediation; however, CCR was still able to provide a Family Mediation to Javon, his mom, Latisha, and his aunt, Rose. 

Rose was instrumental in getting both Javon and Latisha to the mediation. Once they were there, the mediator began asking some questions giving all three a chance to explain how this incident had affected their family. 

Javon explained how his dad had taught him right from wrong, but now that he was on his own, he had to take care of himself as best as he could. Since his mom wasn't around much, he figured he could do whatever he wanted or needed to do. Stealing from the liquor store was one way to make extra money for stuff he needed because he could sell it to other kids at school. 

Latisha mentioned that she tried to keep an eye on Javon, but since they hadn't lived together for years, he resisted her attempts to stay informed on what he was doing and keep him out of trouble. She wanted more say-so in his coming and goings as well as an improvement in the respect he gave her. 

Rose explained how her brother's death had left a void in the family and that he had been a strong link holding things together. She had tried to pick up this role since his death, but it was difficult with her own children and job needing much of her time. 

Throughout all of this, the mediator was able to help the parties identify the things that were most important for them and discuss some options for pursuing those interests. 

For Javon, it was important to have some autonomy to make his own decisions and prove that he could stand on his own. Even still, he was willing to have more communication with his mother about what was going on for him, and he wanted support from her, but he didn't think it was fair for her to come and go on a whim, yet still demand authority over his actions. He ultimately wanted to go to college and get a job working with computers, but he also wasn't sure how to make that happen.

For Latisha, it was important to have her authority as a mother respected, but she recognized that she wasn't always around and Javon was nearing that stage of early adulthood where he was making a lot of decisions for himself.

Rose's interest was simply to improve the dynamics of the family since her brother's death and make sure to keep Javon out of trouble so he didn't end up going down a path that so many of his contemporaries did with crime, drugs, jail or death.

By highlighting all of these interests for them and helping them think through alternatives and potential pitfalls of the kind of behavior that led them to this conversation, the mediator was able to assist them in writing up an agreement about what to do to improve things. 

Javon agreed to a typical curfew of 9:30 p.m., with the option of calling his mom to let her know if he wanted to stay out until 10:30 p.m. Latisha agreed to help Javon investigate a couple of different City Colleges and take him to the one he chose to enroll in classes when the time came. Rose agreed to be a back up support in case Javon couldn't reach Latisha, and that she would check in with both of them every couple of weeks to see how things were going.

When the mediation was finished, they all agreed that it had been helpful to talk out some of these issues which they had never sat down to discuss since the father's death. They were all certain that the thieving wasn't productive or helpful for Javon, and now they had some supports in place to help him make better decisions and pursue his goals. 

Lucas and a friend were caught drawing in fresh cement in front of a veteran’s memorial at their local Park District, as a consequence, Lucas was arrested and his case was referred to mediation at the Center for Conflict Resolution. Since the representative of the Park District was unable to attend the mediation, Lucas and his mom ended up having a family mediation.

Lucas’s mom Susana, started the mediation by stating that what Lucas did was not a terrible thing but she did feel that Lucas didn’t take his arrest seriously. She mentioned that when she picked Lucas up from the Police station, Lucas was handcuffed and sitting on a bench smiling and talking to the officers like nothing had happened. Susana was furious that Lucas was so casual about being arrested. For Susana, seeing her son handcuffed was very upsetting. She told Lucas that she was very disappointed in him.

Lucas responded by apologizing to his mom, he confessed that being in handcuffs for hours had been an unpleasant experience. He also shared that he had been very afraid that the police would put him in a cell with dangerous people, and that he was relieved when they kept him on a bench. He told his mom that the smiling that she saw was really relief that he had not been hurt or locked up. Lucas also told her how embarrassed and ashamed he was when he returned home that evening and his grandmother wouldn’t speak to him.

Throughout the mediation Susana stated repeatedly that Lucas is a good kid and that they have a close relationship. Susana is a single mother of five boys and Lucas is the oldest and the favorite. Susana also disclosed in the mediation, that her mom lives with them and that she was worried about the effect of all this on her mother. The mediator created a space where Lucas and Susana were able to have a candid conversation and Susana shared that her brother that was in a gang and murdered when he was fourteen years old, when this happened Susana was only eleven years old. For Susana, her brother’s murder had ruined her life and it was her constant fear that Lucas might follow in his footsteps.

The mediation gave Lucas an opportunity to explain his experience and to hear his mom’s concerns and her need to protect him and his siblings. Both had a chance to express their points of view and left the mediation satisfied with the process and feeling more connected with each other.

Joyce and her one year old daughter Anna were living with her father Keith, great aunt Claudia, and other family when things started to unravel.  Joyce was having a rough time keeping up with her responsibilities and would run away from home, sometimes for days at a time just to get away. She would run to her friends and boyfriend, leaving Anna with family in the meantime. The final straw occurred when Joyce ran to Milwaukee without telling her family where she was going. She left Anna with her boyfriend’s family and upon her return she was upset to find that the baby was not there.  When she arrived back at her familial home, she was reunited with Anna, but got into an altercation with Keith and Claudia about her recent disappearance.  Joyce was forced to move out and live with another family member some miles away.

On the day of the mediation, the mediator checked in with the family and it initially seemed that things were getting better. Joyce had recently moved back into the home with her family. However, after further reality testing, it became apparent that Keith and Claudia were still upset about the incident and Joyce’s whereabouts overall. They believed that Joyce wasn’t concerned about Anna’s safety or her care. They felt taken advantage of.  In caucus, Joyce was able to explain to the mediator that she felt like she was in the way because she moved around so much and that she had not felt wanted since her mother died tragically when Joyce was five years old.

The mediator was able to bring them back together to discuss possible solutions and Joyce made her case to the family about how she was feeling. They exchanged possible solutions. Keith and Claudia were able to explain how much they cared about both Joyce and Anna. They explained that they wanted Joyce to limit her travels in order to make sure Anna was taken care of. Joyce agreed and they worked out an agreement around daily child care and overall family schedule. The family also agreed to look into counseling for Joyce in the future.

 

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Organization Information

Center for Conflict Resolution

Location: Chicago, IL - USA
Website: http:/​/​www.ccrchicago.org
Project Leader:
Cassandra Lively
Chicago, IL United States
$39,011 raised of $50,000 goal
 
181 donations
$10,989 to go
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