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Jul 3, 2018

SOS Project update

As ever, Sambha\li SOS HelpLine receives a regular number of calls each month and several cases for our counsellor to help and support. A few of the stories are included below. Please see attached file for the number of cases and those requiring financial help. 

 

Case stories

S. Domestic Abuse/Violence

M called from Mumbai and said that her sister S, was very upset. She was concerned about her husband who was having a relationship with another woman (who was divorced). When S wanted to discuss this with her husband, he would only abuse her and said he wouldn’t change the situation. S lives in Rajasthan and she returned to her mother’s house with her children. When S arrived in Jodhpur, her husband followed her and fought with her. S wanted the children to study in school but they needed a Transfer Certificate. Disturbed by all this, she asked Sambhali for advice. Our counseller suggested she talk to the school in Rajasthan and discuss with the Principal the situation and to take action to be able to get the Transfer Certificate and if her husband should go again to her home  in Jodhpur she could contact the Police and Sambhali Trust.

 S. Child marriage

S.’s daughter, J. had an arranged marriage at the age of 7 years, but remained living with her family. No J. has turned 18 years and her husband’s family are pressing her to go and live with them. S. has said she not want her daughter to go there (particularly as her husband died in 2012) and J. doesn’t want to go either. S. came to Sambhali for advice to try and cancel the child marriage and also that she is in poor financial circumstances so she wouldn’t be able to afford a court case.

Sambhali advised S. to write an application by going to the Legal Aid Centre. Our counsellor took S and her daughter to the office of the Legal Services Authority. An application was written by the advocate where the case was filed. A free lawyer was also made available to fight this case of child marriage. We are very hopeful that the marriage will become dissolved.

 R. Domestic Abuse

R. came with her landlady who had connections with Sambhali Trust already. R. had been married for 7 years. Her husband used to drink alcohol and not work and when she wanted to discuss anything with him, her would beat her. She left the village and went to live in Jodhpur for 2 years. However, her husband also followed her there and harassed her. In Jodhpur she started to get cleaning work.  She tried to stay away from her husband and wanted her children to study. Our counsellor reassured R. that she could continue to lead an independent life through her own work and she would be able to get support for her children’s education through the Sambhali Scholarship Programme. She would also become part of the Sambhali ‘family’ and contact us whenever she needed to for support and guidance.

 A.   Counselling support

A had an arranged marriage at the age of 7 years (although didn’t live with her prospective husband), but when she was 12 years old, the boy broke off her marriage. Then A became involved in relationship with another boy for 6  years and they got married. Tragically, her new husband died in an accident only one year after they got married.  A came to Sambhali to say that now both her mother and brother want her to get married a second time, but A doesn’t want to. Sambhali’s counsellor advised her and gave her some counselling about the past and the present and to think of her future, which helped to settle her mind and move forwards.

U. Verbal Harrassment

U. called from M.P. state to ask for advice about a boy verbally abusing her. She said she is very upset by this and felt the boy was very disturbed. She related that she went to coaching lessons after school, after they had finished and on the way home, this boy would follow her and call her abusive names. Sambhal’s counsellor advised her to tell her mother and that they both should go and visit the boy’s house and talk to his parents. If they didn’t help to change their son’s behaviour, they would go to the police. Our counsellor told her not to panic and that if the boy didn’t believe her, she could go with her mother to the women police station where they can also add the details of this boy’ss motorbike on record. In this way, Sambhali encouraged this girl from her depressed state to find a way to manage this situation, give her moral support and inspire her to continue her studies.

 P.  Counselling advice

P. has been married for 6 years and has 2 daughters, aged 4 years and 4 months. She came with one of the students who attends one of Sambhali’s empowerment centres. P. was living with her husband and his family but had not been getting on well with her in-laws. Neither her father-in-law nor sister-in-law would provide her with food. She was also fighting with her husband about this matter, which had happened several times. A few days previously after a lot of fighting took place one evening, she was thrown out of the house and according to Muslim rules as her husband shouted ‘Divorce’ three times, she was banished from the household and her marriage considered over. She was now living with her parents.

She came to Sambhali SOS asking for advice and wanted someone to counsel her husband. Sambhali’s counsellor called her husband and asked to meet him at Sambhali’s office, which he did do. They had a good discussion and he related that many of the things that had happened were because of the family feud. Our counsellor explained that P was the mother of his children and that if he banished them all from the house, his daughters’ lives would be very difficult and he should be thinking of them. He said that his father didn’t want P back in the house now she has been harmed by Muslim rules (ie divorced). After much counselling, P’s husband agreed to fetch her after the one month of Ramadan, during which his father did not want her back in the house He confirmed that he would take her home and she would not have to worry any longer. Here, Sambhali encouraged to save a broken family and keep them together.


Attachments:
Mar 12, 2018

Project Update

Case stories

1. S. Domestic Abuse

J called to say that her sister S who lives in Raigarh in Rajasthan had some issues and was asked to give the Sambhali HelpLine number to her sister. Her sister duly called and discussed the problems she was having with her husband who regularly beat her throughout their 16-year marriage. Now he is drinking a lot and bringing a friend home to drink with him. They then start to misbehave with her. She doesn’t feel safe in the house anymore and she has children to look after. She didn’t want to stay with her parents nor with her husband. Sambhali’s counsellor asked her if she had any neighbours to help her and the counsellor spoke with them to suggest that she contact the Department of Women & Child Development and the Women’s Welfare Centre in Jodhpur to tell them her problems so that she could be helped by the Nari Niketan Trust who helps women seek refuge and provides a safe home.

 2. D Verbal Harassment

D called from Jaipur where she has been living and studying at college there for the last 2 years. She is living in a guest house as a paying guest. She said she had been upset for the last 3 days because she repeatedly gets calls from an unknown caller. Even though she blacklisted the number, he then began to call from another number. This was making her increasingly distressed and had stopped her going to college for the last 3 days.

Sambhali’s counsellor advised her not to panic and gave her the number of the Women’s Police HelpLine in Jaipur and she could ask for their help to stop these nuisance calls.

 3. D. Other

DS called from Barmer, west of Jodhpur, about his sister D. D’s husband has left her and she remains living with her in-laws, who are troubled by her. She has 2 children and her in-laws don’t help to feed them, so she is very unhappy. DS came to Sambhali to meet with our counsellor. He said that he could keep his sister for a while but not a long time – and asked for advice. He said that she is not educated.

 Sambhali advised that his sister could be given accommodation as part-payment for a cleaning job in a girls’ hostel, where she could receive financial support and be able to stay safely. Now she is living with her 2 children at the Dusari Girls’ Hostel, and her daughter is also studying there.

 4. U. Verbal Harassment

U called to say that she was in difficult circumstances both financially and socially. 6 years ago she made a love marriage to a boy in an untouchable caste. Her parents severed their relationship with her and her family. They left Jodhpur and went to live in Delhi. Now she feels very lonely. She has had 3 daughters in the last 5 years. Her husband works as a painter but earns little money and has now started drinking. She is upset by this and feels isolated and doesn’t know what to do. 

Sambhali invited her to come and participate in the Graduate’s Sewing Centre, where she could learn to sew and after a few months earn 3000-4000rs comfortably. U has since joined the Sewing Centre and is learning to sew and starting to earn an income, thereby helping give her the financial help she needs as well as being with other women she can socialise with.

5. K Medical help

K has been a participant in the Fatima Empowerment Centre in Sambhali for the last 11 months. For one year she had been suffering from gynaecological problems but didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. She hadn’t enough money to go and see a good doctor nor provide the medicine she needed. K eventually divulged this to a friend, who then told the Sambhali staff of her problems. She agreed to go to a good gynaecologist and so Sambhali provided her with the financial assistance she needed and her treatment started. She is now feeling much better.

We were also able to provide in February 2 Health camps for the women in our Self-Help Groups in Setrawa and Jodhpur (nearly 150 women altogether). 


Attachments:
Dec 11, 2017

SOS Project update

Case Stories

Just a few of the people that Sambhali have advised and counselled in the last 3 months.

 1. Verbal Harassment

N. lives in Jaipur and is upset about her husband’s behaviour. He lives in UP. N has filed a case of dowry against her husband in court. Her husband’s friend has been calling repeatedly and asking her to withdraw the case and threatening to kill her. Sambhali advised her to go to her nearest women’s police station in Jaipur, give them this person’s phone number and tell them she is in danger of her life.

 2. Domestic violence

M called to say that his sister who lives in Ajmer, is suffering from domestic abuse. His sister’s husband drinks a lot of alcohol, beats her and threatens that she will be killed. Sambhali gave M the number of the Police HelpLine in Jaipur as it is close to Ajmer.

 3. Domestic Violence

P came to the Sambhali office with her sister-in-law. P is very upset about her married life. She had a love marriage 12 years ago with a man who was the son of her father’s friend. She lives with her husband and mother-in-law in Jaipur for 8 years. Her husband is a car taxi driver. After 8 years of marriage, he started drinking alcohol and started beating her. One day he told her that he had married another woman in Pushkar. P was devastated. When she asked him for more information he beat her and drove her out of the house, so she came to live with her father in Jodhpur with her 2 children. She started working in a factory but after 3 years she suffered badly with asthma and now cannot work. She had no communication with her husband in the last 3 years, but now she wanted someone to pressurise her husband in helping her financially. Sambhali suggested that as her husband lives and works in Jaipur , that she get in touch with the HelpLine in Jaipur. Sambhali spoke to the Garima HelpLine in Jaipur  and related P’s story. They said that P should go to Jaipur to discuss it with them so they can try and help access the husband to provide financial assistance.

4. Verbal Harrassment

S came to Sambhali with her sister-in-law. She lives in Jodhpur with her mother-in-law, husband and 2 children. Her husband doesn’t work and drinks alcohol and beats her. Her husband also disallows S from working which makes it very difficult to look after the children. S arrived at Sambhali very upset and didn’t know what to do. Sambhali asked her for her husband’s phone number and rang her husband to explain that he cannot place this level of restriction on S, otherwise Sambhali will file a complaint against him at the Police station. Since then his behaviour has changed and S is able to go and do some work to earn an income to support her children.

 5.Domestic Abuse

P came to the office with her father and grandmother. She said she was not happy with her married life. She had been married for 8 months, but her husband drank too much alcohol and beat her. He also has forced her to leave her studies. P repeatedly called her husband and her in-laws who told her if she returns to live with them, she will have to stop studying. P. asked for advice to continue her studies and be free of her husband’s threats. Sambhali advised P to continue her studies by becoming a strong woman and if her husband harasses her then she should make a complaint against him to the the Women’s Police station by referring to Sambhali.

 6. 

A called about his friend S. She had been upset for 2-3 days and had suicidal thoughts. She did not want to share the cause of her problems with anyone. A was afraid of what she might do but explained to Sambhali that S loved a boy who betrayed her and married another girl. If her parents found out that she had had a relationship with this boy they would be very angry and she would be ostracised in society. Sambhali asked for S.’s number but A refused to give it. So Sambhali advised A to have courage and go to S.’s mother and convince her that she should sympathise with S, so that S can rid herself of her mental stress.

 7. Forced marriage

K called from Jaipur and said that her family wants her to have an arranged marriage. K loves another boy and wants to marry him. Some time ago her parents agreed to this marriage but when both of the boy’s uncles came to know that K was marrying inter-caste, they threatened her father. K’s father became scared and wanted K to get married in her own caste. K was not happy. Sambhali advised K to counsel with her parents and give the HelpLine number of Jaipur.


Attachments:
 
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