When you picture an emergency domestic violence shelter, what do you see? It seems like lots of people imagine an old house with crowded rooms, bunk beds, and lots of women. But our shelter at Raphael House couldn't be more different from that image: it's a large, modern, colorful, light-filled space, and there are far more children here than there are adults!
More than 60% of the people who live at Raphael House are children. They live with their mothers in private, family rooms with en suite bathrooms. They share a large commercial kitchen and a variety of indoor and outdoor living room spaces. We offer all kinds of youth programming to keep kids happy, healthy, and growing every day, from field trips to the zoo to support groups, homework help, and yoga.
During a recent youth support group, several kids were asked to share things that they like about themselves. One wrote "smart," another wrote "I like Raphael House," and a third drew pictures. But it was the fourth one that stopped us in our tracks:
"That I'm alive and safe."
The child who wrote that is ten years old.
We're so grateful that that child - and all the other kids here - are alive and safe. And we're equally grateful for the profound reminder of the seriousness and importance of our work. This is why we come to Raphael House every day. This is why generous community members like you contribute to our work. And this is why we ask you to keep contributing, so we can make sure that someday, no ten year old will have to be grateful for life and safety.
At this time of year, it always starts to feel like Summer is never coming and we'll be stuck with this rainy, gray weather forever. But here at Raphael House, there are signs that warm weather must be on its way! We're hard at work in our shelter garden, removing the wintery covers we put over the beds and fruit trees, and getting new vegetable starts ready to plant. Every year, this feels like a time of preparation. Over spring break we get a little hint of summer in the shelter - full of kids playing and activities every day - just enough to remind us how the whole building comes alive when June rolls around. After another winter spent distributing warm clothes, umbrellas, hot chocolate, and blankets to families in need, we're ready to pull out the kiddie pools and sandals!
But, like everyone else in Portland, we'll have to wait a few months longer. In the meantime, we're serving women and children with a complete spectrum of trauma-informed, survivor-centered advocacy and self-sufficiency programming. And we're getting ready to celebrate Restaurants for Raphael House, our annual dining out event, where restaurants around Portland show their support for survivors by donating a percent of proceeds! We hope you'll join us for a meal out (or 2, or 3...who's counting?) on Wednesday, May 7th. Restaurants are already signing on to participate - stay up to date with the list of participating restaurants by checking our website.
Thank you for the part you've already played in the work to end violence, and please don't hesitate to get involved again! We're always in need of volunteers and donations of seasonal and household items. For the most up to date information on events and ways you can get involved, follow us on Facebook and Twitter!
“I find peace here. When I’m stressed and worried and I just need someone to talk to, I come to Raphael House, and I know it’s a safe place to relax.” – Amanda, mom and survivor of violence
At this time of year, peace can feel like it’s in short supply. We’re all rushing around, trying to cram in as many joys of the season as possible, while hoping not to be overwhelmed by the stresses of travel, family, finances, and more.
It’s difficult to even think about how much harder the holidays are for a family experiencing domestic violence. The families who live at Raphael House will celebrate in an unfamilar space, full of unfamiliar cultures and personalities. They will celebrate without the pets and friends and family members they left behind. They will celebrate while processing trauma and learning to support themselves.
And yet, like the rest of us, the moms at Raphael House will find a way to put aside their stress and worry. They’ll decorate the shelter. They’ll bake cookies. They’ll read bedtime stories and share traditions and make new friends. And we will do whatever we can to support them in that.
Raphael House used to be located in a large old home in NW Portland. Amanda lived in that shelter. Fifteen years ago, she called Raphael House and asked for help. She was in an abusive relationship and she didn’t have a job or financial resources or anywhere safe to go. She and her kids moved into our shelter, stayed for several weeks, and then joined our transitional housing program, which helped them move into their own apartment.
Working with our staff, Amanda went to school, got a job, and made a peaceful home for herself and her children. Today, more than a decade later, she still comes to visit Raphael House when she needs a safe space to talk – when she needs advice – when she just needs someone who will listen.
She finds peace here. As you celebrate the holidays, as you gather with family and friends, I hope you find a peaceful moment of your own to think about Amanda and all the families who are celebrating at Raphael House this year. Please, give generously. No gift is too small to make a difference. Together, we can offer peace to hundreds of families in need.
If you aren't spending time at our shelter every day, it can be easy to forget that more than 60% of the people who live here are children. But for those of us lucky enough to work for this agency, wow do we notice the difference when September rolls around! This week we've gone from a shelter full of summertime kids activity - kiddie pools filling the courtyard, the sound of basketballs ringing on the pavement - to a noticeably quieter daytime space.
In the evenings, our Homework Help program will be ramping up its activity again, as volunteers and staff work with families to help kids keep on top of schoolwork while they're living in shelter and after they've moved into their own homes.
Another program that's ramping up activity this season is our garden - we have a wide variety of fruits and vegetables from Asian Pears to Pumpkins that are just about ready for harvest, and we'll be offering evening cooking classes to help residents find new ways to use types of produce they may find unfamiliar.
Despite being too old for school now myself, to me fall still feels more like the start of a new year than January ever does. I'm excited to watch the changes in our staff and participants that this season of cozy activity and early holiday preparation brings! Thank you for choosing to be part of those changes - your support allows local families to participate in all the many joys and surprises of the back to school season.
It can be easy to forget how many moms live at Raphael House. If you aren’t here in person at our shelter, you might not realize that we spend many of our days in a riot of children - playing basketball, doing craft projects, reading, helping with homework, and eating cookies.
In fact, over 60% of the people who live at Raphael House are children. In the past year we’ve rushed a new mom to the delivery room, taken kids to the emergency room, applied more Band-Aids than we can count, and watched as a whole group of families took on a rock climbing adventure for the first time.
We work hard to make our shelter feel like a home, to celebrate kids and their moms and that incredible, life-sustaining bond they share. We see moms searching for the answers to questions like “What is this place?” “Why are we here?” and “Who are all these other people?” And we know that if anyone can offer comfort to a child confused by the transition to shelter and missing his own home, it’s Mom.
Earlier this month we celebrated Mother's Day in the shelter with gifts donated by local businesses and service groups. But mothering is something we celebrate (and practice!) all year long. We offer childcare so that moms can take some self-care time or attend support groups. We also offer a weekly parenting support group to help moms address the many issues around children living in an emergency domestic violence shelter.
It's really our privilege to get to spend so much time with those kids though. I'll leave you with something a seven year old said to me recently:
"My mom looks happy now, and they have these really good cookies here."
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