Himalayan Healthcare for 5000: Save Lives in Nepal

Sep 5, 2012

My suffering because of my society's preference for a son

Maila health post
Maila health post

Dear friends, namaste This time we are putting not a story directly related to our health work in Maila but a story of a woman from Maila who is suffering because of how the society takes son and daughters. It is not only the story of Ms Bedana Nepali but of the majority of the women in remote areas of Nepal. Here is the story in her own word:

"I am Mrs Bedana Nepali (untouchable lower caste) from Maila. I was married at the age of 18 and gave birth to my first daughter before my 20th birthday and 2nd daughter at the age of 22. When I gave birth to my second daughter my husband and mother in law started complaining about not giving son to them and eventually my husband married a new wife, but she also gave birth to a daughter. After that my life got miserable. My family abandoned me and I could not go back to my natal home since I had my step mother and they are very poor. I was not treated well by the community and the neighbors telling me that I was a barren woman since I could not give son to my husband's family. My friends also did not treat me well and hesitated to talk thinking they will also be barren if they got too much intimate with me. They said rather than having a daughter it would have been better if it was miscarriage or I should have killed my daughters immediately after they were born. I was so sad that I thought my daughters are sole cause of my sufferings and they will have the same fate if they are grown up in this society. I did not think of any consequences and I tried to kill my small daughter three times by pressing her neck but probably her suffering or probably mine has not ended yet so she did not die.

Though everybody in my village know this I had never got an opportunity to tell this story to anyone else. I would like to thank the nurse Ms Indira Kuwar from PHASE for listening my story and giving this opportunity to tell my story to the outer world, now after telling my story I feel better. I really hope that some day it will come where both son and daughters will be treated equally and no mothers will be treated badly for giving birth to either."

As you can imagine, there is not only need for health service but a lot more and your support has made us able to contribute a bit in the area where people have so many problem, thank you very much for your support.


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Project Leader

Jiban Karki

Kathmandu, Kathmandu Nepal

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